How do you guys open?

nicethingyoucanthave · 2014-02-04T16:16:58+00:00

TRP is more like theory - how the world really is, and why. Your question is more practical - what specifically should you say. I think a more practical sub for this sort of thing is /r/seduction.

Here's some theory for you: opening doesn't make you attractive. There is never a time when a girl has seen you across the room and thought, "ew that guy is ugly" but then you walk up to her and recite the magical "opener" incantation and suddenly she likes you.

In other words, if you're attractive - your looks, your level of fitness, your clothes, how you carry yourself, who you're hanging out with - then it matters very little what your opener is, as long as it's not painfully lame.

As for the practical (I still recommend you search/ask in /r/seduction), I'll just say "hi, my name is nicething" unless a really clever alternative presents itself. Don't think about approaching as having to be about crossing an empty room to talk to a girl - think about it as looking for opportunities to say something.

I'll give an example: a few weeks ago I was with a buddy playing pool. A group of girls was standing nearby. After having leaned over to make a shot, I turned to them and said, "I'd better not catch any of you creeps staring at my ass" - they laugh, then I introduce myself.

Beyond that, it just takes practice to keep a conversation going, and even when you're good at it, sometimes it fizzles out, or they're just not into you. It's always a numbers game.

The only time you really lose is when a girl did find you attractive, but you didn't even bother talking to her. As long as you're polite, your goal is simply to approach a lot and try to filter your way down to the ones that find you attractive.

...and of course, to improve yourself so that you're more attractive to more women.

Veritisia · 2014-02-04T13:37:55+00:00

anothermonth · 2014-02-04T17:43:22+00:00

Here's my noob advice, which should be enough to at least gain some confidence. Look, unless she's way out of your league, has a boyfriend nearby or she's not in the right state of mind to meet new people, chances are, she wants you to approach just as much as you do. If not, she'll let you know soon enough. Maybe more advanced approach would have worked here, but who cares, you just jump into the next set.

First things first: warmup! On your way to the place listen to upbeat music, banter loudly with your friends, shout out how you're gonna got some ass tonight. Some people just start saying "hi!" to strangers on the street. Get yourself into an upbeat mood. I also have a drink to help myself relax a bit, but you might not need it.

Once there, I approach a set as soon as possible. The more you hesitate, the more panic sets in, the more you lose that "going in hot" state. You don't want to be that dude standing in stiff pose, shrunk shoulders, staring at girls while pivoting the whole body with your gaze, tense facial expression, mouth half-open. Also, this is the time to leave your male friends. Sure their company is comfy, but you can go back to it when you have something deserving to share.

Just approach and say something about the place you're in: "Hey, this place is not as deafeningly loud as [previous place I've been at]. Is this the first time you're here?" Good enough! You just opened and at the same time gave her a chance to follow up if she feels like it: "yup, is this your first time here too?" or "yeah, that other place is horrible!", etc.

Then I just keep chatting, asking simple questions "are you here with your friends?", "how did you guys meet?", inserting a joke occasionally, if I can squeeze one out of my panicking brain (that's why warmup is important).

If I feel she doesn't maintain eye contact, turns her body away from me towards her friends, never adds to conversation and answers with simple yes and no, I simply disengage with "alright, I'll go look for my friends (even if I don't have any with me). I'll see you around." And that's it. Most rejections aren't more painful than that.

Otherwise, if simple chatting goes on for a while, you usually find a topic you both like, conversation deepens and your approach phase is successfully complete!

ChaoticParadox · 2014-02-04T18:13:02+00:00

Eye contact and saying exactly what I'm thinking in the moment. Usually something along the lines of, "Hey, what's your name? How old are you?" Right to the point.

bertmaklinFBI · 2014-02-04T15:22:24+00:00

Bonecrker

seever · 2014-02-04T14:02:42+00:00

1.solid eye contact then after half of a second crack a simple smile . 2.say hi and introduce yourself. mirror their body language. 3.things to talk about : i usually go with F.O.R.D (family, hobbies and such) ask what do they have planned for the rest of the day. 4.the more they talk the better you look but don't be a yes guy. don't give her all your time 5 . don't take them seriously or explain anything with logic. 6.if she's on her phone or not listening call her on it 7. and most importantly TREAT YOURSELF LIKE the PRIZE.

drqxx · 2014-02-04T16:22:13+00:00

Eye contact slight smile "You look interesting come here" Sometimes it well received others times it not. You need to understand getting rejected is part of the game.

koukol · 2014-02-04T16:38:37+00:00

Hell must have lost a demon because I see you're horny. Poking fun here, but I'm thinking I'll use it.

lennshow66 · 2014-02-04T18:59:38+00:00

Thanks for the advice guys will be trying this weekend!

Haptic_Affinity · 2014-02-04T19:21:08+00:00

However I want.

[deleted] · 2014-02-05T07:20:58+00:00

Situation dictates.

Coochster · 2014-02-07T01:37:38+00:00

"Hey, what's up."

Its frame that matters, not the actual words you use.

joshsoowong · 2014-02-04T13:47:10+00:00

yooooooooooo waaasssup!??!

Title	How do you guys open?
Author	lennshow66
Upvotes	8
Comments	16
Date	February 4, 2014 10:59 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1wz6vi/how_do_you_guys_open/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-guys-open.138935 https://theredarchive.com/post/138935

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