Why can't I for the love of god talk to girls at parties?

CombatPhilosopher · 2015-10-13T22:56:08+00:00

Talk to girls about how you're nervous to talk to girls at parties

Squand · 2015-10-14T00:32:15+00:00

"I'm afraid that I might come off as a creep looking for sex."

Is that your goal? When you talk to a stranger, are you thinking, boy I hope she fucks me or else this convo is one big waste of my time!

*edit homophone

CaliBboy · 2015-10-13T22:35:26+00:00

I'm afraid that I might come off as a creep looking for sex

That's your problem. Why do you think a man displaying sexual interest in female is creepy?

WayOfTheGentleman · 2015-10-14T08:22:22+00:00

OK...what makes you think they will think you are a creep? What do you think makes girls tag men as being creepy?

Just be friendly and cool at parties. You don't want to be the 'pickup guy'.

You already have a reason to approach, because you know the host.

So do the following...go up to the group and say:

'Hey girls!' and wait for the response. 'I don't think we've met before have we?' wait for the response. 'I'm Bob' (or whatever your name is)

Then go round everyone in the group, shake their hand and get their name.

Then ask 'how do you know <host>'? (whoever the host is)

A follow up question is 'and how do you all know each other?'

This will open a reasonable convo in itself, but now you get to find out the relationships between everyone. Who is with who, who is taken, who is single etc.

The convo should flow naturally from here, but if you find there's nothing to say, just excuse yourself and say 'anyway I'm going to go mingle/get a drink/go to the bathroom' (delete as desired). 'I'll catch up with you later. Nice to meet you.'

The great thing about this is that it's dead easy to do. You can replicate it on anyone an it will be well received, if you go in confident and friendly. You're not trying to impress anyone, you're just a friendly guy who is comfortable in his own skin.

The earlier you do this, the better. No other guy is doing this early on, because they are too sober and awkward. So you being open, relaxed and friendly really makes you stand out.

Do this with a few different groups and suddenly you become the guy who knows everyone. People look at you talking to everyone and think 'who is that guy?'

Then later on, you'll bump into these same people again, but likely they will have split from their groups and be mingling more. So you can talk one on one now 'hey again! Kelly, right? How's your night going?'

She'll remember you as the fun friendly guy from earlier and you're pretty much 'in' already.

BassNet · 2015-10-14T00:55:56+00:00

Abandon that mentality and just try to have fun. Don't act like you want to have sex with them, act like you want to be friends with them.

Jacob_961 · 2015-10-14T08:29:12+00:00

Have no intention to fuck, kiss, or make the women like you. Just offer value and self-amuse. Escalate for your own personal enjoyment. You want to escalate because it is fun.

Brown-Nigg · 2015-10-14T00:19:03+00:00

Because you're scared. Talk to them with the plan of walking away for a while. Don't expect to get laid every time you open your mouth. Plan to go home alone and be ok with it. The expectation will remove your worry of rejection and make you more confident and more interesting. You may even get results you abandoned aiming for.

SmoothPrimal · 2015-10-14T02:46:21+00:00

You dont "approach" girls in parties you interact with them.

chistbo · 2015-10-14T12:44:57+00:00

Just try to meet everyone at the party, not only the women.

Pretend like it's your house/party/club. As the host, it's natural for you to want to know who everyone at your party is. You are comfortable here,it's your home turf.

Walk up with a smile. "Hi. I'm OhThePlacesYouWillGo. I don't think we've met!" Continue from there.

Make a goal of meeting everyone at the party throughout the night. Unless you end up liking to talk to one person so much you no longer care about the party... :-)

homosapienfromterra · 2015-10-25T20:33:23+00:00

The best thing about parties is that it is likely that some person or maybe people will know both of you. You could try and find one of them, then persaude them to introduce you. If they are in the group already then ask them to introduce you. Remember if she is with another girl to include the other girl in the conversation. If for some reason the intro route does not work out just find out her name and a few things about her. Then you can start by saying Hi your xxx I am xyz, don't jump in with the shallow compliments but build on anything you have in common. Watch the body language does she look at you? Does she turn to face you or is she still side on or back to you. Does she keep fiddling with her hair - good sign. If you do not get the right body language an expert will drop out of the conversation politely or maybe turn the conversation to the friend, as sometimes they do not realise they like you until a rival appears. As she relaxes see if you can get her to open up a little, favorite food / music / what she likes to drink you could hit in that one thing you are both passionate about and WHAM she is hooked and the rest is history. Don't forget she has a fairytale guy in her mind she sees you and first impressions are you are not him but then little by little you paint yourself into her mind as the ideal guy so slowly that she does not even know it is happening.

Rayjaysdick · 2015-10-14T00:32:37+00:00

Looking for sex doesn't make you creepy, it makes you human. Aaayyyy

Title	Why can't I for the love of god talk to girls at parties?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	16
Date	October 13, 2015 10:31 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3ona5a/why_cant_i_for_the_love_of_god_talk_to_girls_at/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-cant-i-for-the-love-of-god-talk-to-girls-at.1395895 https://theredarchive.com/post/1395895

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