So, I am not even really sure why I am writing this. Probably just to get it of my chest and maybe somebody here has some advice for me. This is probably gonna be a long sob story and not your usual field report, so if you're interested in 10 lays in 10 days this is not your thing to read.

Some Information about me before the actual story starts

  • My life before Seduction and the early years: I always was this shy guy, probably better looking than he thought he would and socially pretty damn awkward. I never had a girlfriend and by the age of 18 I had fallen in love twice. It took me 5 years of my life to forget about the first girl. A year later I fell in love with another girl. My best friend took her. I left the country for studies abroad and so it was easier to forget about her than the first girl.

  • Life as a student in university: A lot of people say that this is the best time to meet girls. I tried to get rid of my social awkwardness and anxieties and I think I did succeed a bit. I made out with one girl, which was a huge success for me, but I never saw her again, because I didn't dare to ask her out again. After 2 years of studying and some self improvement I decided to stop my studies and move back to my hometown and find myself some work.

The Story

  • Moving back, finding work and Seddit: So I came back home and immediately found a place to work. This is two weeks ago now. I discovered Seddit and was fascinated by all this stuff. I really hoped this would help me becoming a better person and being sucessfull with girls. I read Models and a lot of things suddenlly made sense to me. Because I still had approach anxiety I figured I would try to seduce a girl from my new workplace (yeah great idea, I know) because the opening wouldn't be that awkward.

  • The third girl in my life: That's when I met her. She was beautiful. Most people would describe her more as sexy than as cute. I thought she probably would be a bitch. So if my seduction attempt would go wrong? Who gives a shit. She's probably a bitch anyway. How wrong I was..

  • First contact: I started talking to her and she was incredibly nice to me. I felt like we instantly clicked and we worked great together. We started with some flirty banter and made jokes with sexual innuendos. I couldn't believe what was happening. This girl actually seemed to like me. I did a lot of stuff this sub stands for. Eyecontact. Touching. Laughing. Smiling. All that stuff. Did it work? I'll come back to that later.

  • Her sudden change in behaviour: Suddenly she started ignoring me more and more. She didn't look at me when I crossed her way. I didn't understand. I made sure that I am not around her the whole time. I made my intentions and desire clear to her but always with a big smile. The last time I talked to her was when we were eating together with another female co-worker who is a friend of hers. We were talking about hair and I said that I would look exactly like Orlando Bloom with longer hair. The two bursted out in laughter. It was really mean laughter, like the idea of me looking good would be the absolutely most ridiculous thing they've ever heard. I felt so hurt but I just laughed a long with them. Yes, of course I made a joke and it was a bit over the top. But I didn't expect such a mean reaction. That was when I know I had no chance with her and that totally crushed my built up self confidence.

  • What my Seduction Attempt did to me: This all itself wouldn't be really bad. It happens. Girls don't like you, don't find you attractive, whatever. Move on. Easy. But something really really dumb happened to me. All the eye contact I did to her. All the times I touched her. All the smiles I gave her. All the laughs we had together. It didn't do a single thing to her. But it did to me. I fell in love with her. I gamed myself into loving her, trying to make her to like me. It is ridiculous.

  • Being in love: I know she is not the one for me. I know there are nicer and more beautiful girls out there. I know. But I just fell in love with her and I can't do a damn thing about it. It's like fighting against being drunk. You try to control yourself but it just doesn't work. I've been in love twice before, like I said at the start. The first time took me 5 fucking years. I don't want this to happen again. I know what people tell you if you want to fall "out of" love. I talk a lot to other people. I think about her. I talk to other girls, even approached random girls. I think about her. I work insane amounts of overtime. I think about her. I do sports. I think about her. I go to bed. I think about her. I wake up. I think about her. I sleep. I fucking dream about her.

  • What now? So like I wrote at the start, I don't really know what I want with this thread. Maybe some of you have some words for me. Don't tell me to man up. I know, I am being beta as fuck. I know I am in love and I hate it but I can't do anything against it. My seduction attempt just seduced myself and I am totally crushed right now. The lovesickness is driving me crazy. Help me. Please.