fear of women stopping me from approaching and seducing

Megachillx · 2016-03-26T19:20:54+00:00

I feel like you have that anxiety with women because you haven't approached a lot of women. When I first started I was nervous as hell and the first 50 girls I approached I was nervous as hell, but as you do it and gain that experience and train that social muscle, you'll start to have amazing experiences and not care about the bad ones. LOOKS DONT MATTER. Now you should dress well, but your core looks don't matter. As long as you live a healthy lifestyle, work out and dress well this is just an excuse your ego gives yourself to not approach someone.

As someone else said, talk with everyone and get out of your head. If you are going to talk to a girl you should be going over there out of curiosity. If she feels like you are trying to get something out of the interaction she will sense that and eject. She senses this because your mood will be based on her response. If she responds good, you feel good, if she doesn't you feel like crap. But if you are happy and content with your life regardless of her response, you will find much more success and a lot less anxiety.

You have to go in with no expectations and to just have a fun conversation.

Now there is no easy way to over coming this in the initial stages. Your first 50 sets are going to stomp your ego into the dirt. You won't feel like you're getting anywhere and it will all feel like a waste of time, but by 50 sets you should over come approach anxiety. By the 200 set mark, you should start seeing some improvement and be comfortable with what you're doing from start to finish as long as you analyze each set on where you think you went wrong. You can't take weeks off and you can't delay or else you'll fall back in your old patterns.

As for what to say, that's an even bigger topic.

rondeline · 2016-03-26T17:17:13+00:00

You don't need that. You need to man up and get out of your comfort zone.

valorchata · 2016-03-26T21:27:02+00:00

side bar #20 Mark Manson 2nd AMA one of his comment has relevant answer to your inquiry also this particular comment and its subsequence replies Goes into 2 main psychological approaches, and within that AMA post, he did mention about going to Psychiartric therapy about it. No specific mention of what department, but that is more of a professional/scholar level of diagnosis. Personally I've been to the boot camps, it flooded me and I approached like 100 sets in 3 days, however that experience never really stick. It was thru years of gradual self improvement and meeting and interacting women that got me where I am right now. Hope this helps!

ben12623 · 2016-03-26T17:31:50+00:00

Willpower or get thrown into the deep end. All in all practice makes perfect. The best way is to get out of your comfort zone.

rondeline · 2016-03-26T19:52:16+00:00

Do you have like overwhelming anxiety? Do you avoid talking to other women, even those you're not even attracted to? Do you have any worries about going to a party? Do you have avoid groups or going places by yourself?

If you think you know logically, you have to man up and just approach, but your body is reacting aggressively with stress to the point that you prefer to avoid than approach, then yeah, you might want to talk to a psychiatrist or therapist...+ find a decent dating coach that walk you through the steps without pressuring too far beyond your comfort zone.

Spo0Bo · 2016-03-26T20:18:57+00:00

I was a little like this. My problem was that I assumed they were some sort of special creatures. That they were somehow better than me. This is simply not true.

Just go up to a girl, talk to her about anything. Ask her opinion on something you're struggling with or something. Treat her like you'd treat just another guy. Like a colleague. Like a classmate. Family. Whatever. Just not like what you assume they are. You'll see they're just regular people.

Don't be defensive because you think you're less. Just be you and enjoy the conversation. If you have fun, they'll have fun. Seriously, don't over think it. Don't put pressure on yourself. Just have a fun conversation. And you can test this with anyone anywhere. For example sit next to someone on a bus and start talking. Young, old, guy, girl. Doesn't matter. Just have a fun conversation. Ok. Not too young. That's creepy haha.

EasternHolidays · 2016-03-26T22:54:30+00:00

It could be a million different things, going to a psychiatrist and asking their professional opinion on therapy is a smart thing to do.

Also, do you actively try to talk to people, or is the thought itself hard for you?

clovers2345 · 2016-03-27T05:50:44+00:00

I will give you a tip that helped me approaching when I was a noob. I would exercise for an hour then cold shower and then go day game approach. It helped ease my nerves when I first started. But this is anecdotal evidence. Also, I would go to you tube and find channels that specially talk about this. Johnny berba comes to mind. As for therapies, I would suggest Cognitive Behavioral Therapy/In vivo exposure therapy. Research it. Highly effective.

Title	fear of women stopping me from approaching and seducing
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	15
Comments	24
Date	March 26, 2016 4:15 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4c1qqd/fear_of_women_stopping_me_from_approaching_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fear-of-women-stopping-me-from-approaching-and.1404527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1404527

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