I don't know what to do...

shockwave_dave · 2016-04-10T16:31:21+00:00

What's the worst that can happen if you make a move? She says 'no'. So what? Plenty of girls out there that won't say no. Man up; make a move

Bigjohnthug · 2016-04-11T00:42:50+00:00

Lie on top of her like you're a big warm blanket and never let go.

Ojayliving · 2016-04-10T16:42:17+00:00

Read this http://www.ojayliving.com/how-to-increase-your-self-esteem/ By core confidence you mean self esteem aka self image... The reason you are getting anxiety and resistance to make that move is because conciosly or unconsciously you do not see your self as the type of person who does that sort of thing... What you have to do is make the right desions/take right action aka blow through that barrier that is holding you back regardless of it being successful or not successful (the outcome does not matter) and this way with repition your thoughts and emotions will transfer on to this new identity aka new and better self image of someone who can effortlessly make a move on a chick... Read the article and you will understand my man

AttractandSeduce · 2016-04-10T23:53:05+00:00

This girl ended up coming over last night really late and we planned to watch movies

I think we can agree that she was up for more then just watching a movie with you late at night. She was coming to you already interested. It's either that or you have been put deeply in the friend zone and she can't imagine you making any move on her.

Next time this happens, If I were you, I would decide first whether I want this girl for the night. Assuming I do, I would start escalating things SLOWLY as soon as she gets in the door.

Start out with a light hug and tease her a bit.

Watch the movie right beside her.

Get physically close to her and if she reciprocates and is very comfortable with it, go for a kiss.

The point is, unless she gives you a NO verbally AND with her actions, I would slowly keep escalating things. In a none needy way of course.

Avoid being reactive every time she "pushes you off". Often a girl verbally says no to you while remaining physically close. It's the same both ways.

Either way, it's a valuable learning experience for you that can prepare you for next time.

Just remember keep the attraction going: Tease her, challenge her and show her your not at all impressed attitude.

jefffffffff · 2016-04-11T00:40:40+00:00

Rule of thumb. Any time a girl comes over to your place she is interested enough for atleast a kiss and probably more. 100% should be going for it every time.

RobbyFeelsGood · 2016-04-11T03:08:26+00:00

There's an interesting perspective/school of thought on this kind of thing that males are shamed as children, by parents, teachers, peers, school etc. for displaying affection and escalating with girls... this is possibly why you feel anxiety. Just like you would feel intense anxiety if you had to walk down a busy street buck-ass naked.

Shame's probably THE MOST debilitating emotion. Most people's advice is "just man up". Instead, do some "deep diving" introspection to see if there are any early experiences of being shamed and become aware of that "mental programming." Work from there to undo it.

I personally had a SHITTON of this, growing up and it completely incapacitated me, until I actually took a hard look at it and realized, "holy #@$%"

Rob @ www.the-infinity-blog.com

puafridaythrowaway · 2016-04-11T03:32:36+00:00

This happened 8 months ago and I still see her.

Invited a friend to my house to drink a beer. I knew she was into me but I didn't had the balls to do anything until that day. We drank that beer and were on the couch watching tv and talking. There was one of those moments when people look at each other and it's kinda intimate, like this.

So, I was terrified of kissing a girl. What if she doesn't want it and gets mad? what if she never talks to me again? what if I'm a bad kisser?. I thought she came to my house, alone, it's just the two of us and she is watching me like that, she fucking wanted me to kiss her. There was no way she was there for the beer and she would probably feel bad thinking I don't like her or thing I'm a coward if I dont do it.

I kissed her., she kissed me back, we laughed and we kissed again. Operation beer and kiss was a success.

So, next time something like this happens think "she came here because she wants me, there is no better opportunity than this one" and just fucking do it.

I'm not saying go straight for a kiss, but the same thinking goes for all the escalation you need to do.

She later told me there were a few times when she thought I was going to kiss her but I didn't. Should have done it earlier.

second-account-1 · 2016-04-11T04:49:28+00:00

Get an nice, expensive, english-speaking prostitute. Explain your anxiety issue to her. Ask her to work through it with you slowly. Prostitutes are nice people generally, and are quite socially intelligent. A good prostitute will give you better advice on this issue than any shrink or self-help book.

In particular, if you can find a domme I think that'd be your best bet. Dommes encounter a wide variety of guys. From confident and respected businessmen, or the shy college student who always scans your books at the library, to the adult children of wealthy-but-distant parents looking to make up for childhood maternal neglect. They've seen it all, down to the most intimate details. As a result, a good domme ends up understanding more about men's minds than most of us ever will.

pickupchange · 2016-04-11T08:02:20+00:00

Common problem! I met countless guys ending in a situation like that one, me included! :D That's the rule I gave to me: in every first date, I will always try to kiss a girl. If a girl comes to my place, and I'm attracted by her, I will always try to kiss her. If you can stick to these rules, no matter what, your dating life will change drastically.

3NSANE · 2016-04-10T16:19:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I don't know what to do...
Author	eiqht
Upvotes	13
Comments	12
Date	April 10, 2016 4:03 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4e6bc7/i_dont_know_what_to_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-dont-know-what-to-do.1405182 https://theredarchive.com/post/1405182

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