Found out I'm getting cockblocked by my friends

sililos · 2016-05-21T20:11:37+00:00

Not sure if you need a new group of friends or to let her go. Just sounds like a really awkward situation. Good luck

MrStealYoMissTasty · 2016-05-22T01:24:23+00:00

There are many things that could be said, but ultimately this goes against bro code. These "friends" are not your true friends. Keep some confidence in the fact that YOU got her number and they are desperately trying to get some by tearing you down. You can still do this

Thowedthrowaway · 2016-05-21T20:42:38+00:00

Either your friends are massive assholes or you're the asshole. Those are the only two possible explanations for a whole group of people conspiring to stop you from talking to a woman

CaffineIsLove · 2016-05-21T20:40:26+00:00

lol all those guys hovering around her and not making progress. Let it go.

glassuser · 2016-05-21T22:10:03+00:00

Those aren't friends.

Lordoftheintroverts · 2016-05-21T21:29:58+00:00

Time for some new friends.

nichkname · 2016-05-21T21:10:13+00:00

Get Out Now. Every one of them is toxic

recyclablebanthas · 2016-05-22T02:01:33+00:00

Looking back, there were serious warning signs that night -- out of the blue my friends would interrupt my conversation with her, sometimes even tease/making fun of me/put me down for something unrelated.

Yeah, seriously not cool on the part of these "friends." Friends don't throw each other under the bus like that. So really, they're not friends.

Anyway, asked her out for drinks the following week, and she flaked.

I recently found out that my friends have weekly lunches with her, where they've been probing her with questions about me....

I found out that she had revealed to the group that I had asked her out for drinks, but she turned me down.

Wait, she turned you down or flaked? Those are two different things. Flaked: no call, no show after saying yes. Or cancelling after saying yes. Turned down: Said no upfront.

Exactly what did she say and do? You're leaving too much out here. How did you phrase it when you asked her? How exactly did she respond? What exactly do you mean by "flaked?"

Couple issues here:

You have a bunch of drama queen friends (yes, I know they're guys) who want to get into all this He Said, She Said bullshit instead of actually making moves. And unfortunately, this girl seems to value their input more than dating you.
You're in danger of allowing yourself to get pulled into this ridiculous He Said, She Said bullshit too..... trafficking in gossip, etc. Some information fell into your lap? Fine. But don't become like those "friends" of yours, who can't make moves and instead, masquerade as friends to her and spend all this energy trying to block her from dating other people.
Look, seduction is a team sport. It's not simply something done to a girl. And this girl is failing to show basic interest. You've had enough interaction with her that she shouldn't be turning down drinks if she were interested. And worse, it appears that she's almost putting it before those guys for judgment and we probably know what they'll think.

Seems like both the friends and the girl are not worth your time. Of course, be friendly if you're around them. But life is too short to prioritize having people around who are going to act like they're in middle school.

If you want, ask her to join you to do something one more time and then write her off if she doesn't want to.

Sathyamate · 2016-05-22T01:25:32+00:00

Don't even bother asking again imo, let the others keep tripping over their dicks trying to be with her because from what you've written I'd say to keep trying wouldn't be worth it in the slightest. I guarantee there are many girls as good for you or better than her.

sorcererbro · 2016-05-22T03:12:05+00:00

They're not your friends.
She's an adult. She's responsible for the decisions she makes.

Maybe she still hasn't learned the lesson of not inviting others to have input on her very personal decisions yet. That's a way she doesn't measure up to your standards. When she's more grown up, she can reach out to you and see if you're not too busy.

tl;dr: meet ten other girls

DaygameCoach · 2016-05-21T23:52:36+00:00

You said she turned you down, so I'd let it go. I know you didn't know your friends were targeting her already -- difficult situation. Sounds like for a variety of reasons that you should go outside the group and approach new women.

TheMinistryOfAwesome · 2016-05-22T07:11:00+00:00

Well it makes sense doesn't it? Of course your friends are going to "alpha up" on you when you're maing progress with a girl they want to fuck. There are a few things that you need to realise though.

1) Your friends might not have the same commitment/understanding/awareness of seduction and therefore may not be aware of the social etiquette of that fraternity.

2) They might not even realise they're being a dick by alpha upping you - or even that they are putting you down.

3) Their social groups with the girl are most likely their way to build rapport with the girl and let her know that they're great guys who she could date/fuck.

This suggests to be the following:

You're not very good at being assertive, dominant or confident.
They are not very good at being confident
Neither group is very successful with chicks (you or them)
You're all working from the point of scarcity
the chick probably isn't even that hot :) (total supposition, but relevant in the context -i.e. pedastaling)

There are reasons for this. The way you describe your and their actions just suggests that everything is a bit timid and "behind the scenes" in trying to get this girl. Your method and their method seems to be too much thought and strategy planning specifically for her (there's nothing wrong with sexual strategy - but you appear tobe putting this chick up there on a pedastal and then working a large grand-strategic thing on her). They are trying to woo her by showing their "nice guy" side and regularly meeting her talking etc. Naturally they don't include you if at all possible because you're competition (again, wouldn't happen really if you were all fucking hot gals regularly - or at least had a stronger friendbond). And of course you think that being an outsider is a bad thing.

There are some good things you can get from this though:

Your friends are weak and definitely see you as a sexual threat/competition
She does seem interested but is probably a bit worried about what her social peers think. If they have been talking about you and joking and making fun of you then basically her dating you is a way to "ostracise herself" from that group (at least in the mammalian brain theory).
You can probably get this girl, but i'd recommend flirting/fucking/hitting on/dating another couple of girls first; because when you then interact with this girl you won't really give a fuck :)
Yoda is a bad mother fucker... Do or do not... there is no try.
You don't have to drop your friends, just understand them for what they are.

I hope it helped

Woujo · 2016-05-23T00:49:14+00:00

This is how I deal with cockblockers:

I walk up to them and say "hey, I'm trying to get with [girl]. Do you have a problem with that?" If they say no, then I will say "ok, well stop getting in the way."

All that said, I think if your friends are cockblocking you, they are either really shitty friends or they just have no respect for you.

M_Knight1 · 2016-05-22T15:02:36+00:00

WAY TO MUCH OVER ANALYSIS HERE. HERE IS THE ONLY MOVE THAT YOU SHOULD MAKE:

Call the girl, and tell her the truth. Say that you would like her to go out somewhere with you in the next week. Say: I heard through the grape vine that all our friends are already secretly in love with you, and thus I think they may be trying to influence you against seeing me. But if you are available and want to get together for a coffee, let's do it.

Being the bigger man and standing up and calling out all the beta bullshit going on in your group will probably impress her the most. Its also solves this situation instantaneously, and does so before you just become another orbiter like all your other friends.

Xbitsweden · 2016-05-22T09:20:06+00:00

I tell you what you do, be super spontaneous like late in the evening or something, whenever she is free. Just be on your way somewhere, decide to do something great that you love to do. And when you are about to go there, I mean you literally are on your way to the event, you call her up and tell her to get nicely dressed or something. Tell her that you and her is going to do some great and that she has to decide now.

If it's late in the evening, just call her up and get her to get the fuck out. Be outside and tell her to get outside, have a chat and leave it at that.

All of this will be easier if you have a car of course.

RespondsWithImprov · 2016-05-22T20:50:45+00:00

This situation has shown your weakness in dealing with your "friends" and this one girl(out of thousands).

Too much external thinking, not enough internal strength

Title	Found out I'm getting cockblocked by my friends
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	43
Comments	46
Date	May 21, 2016 7:32 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4kf2l0/found_out_im_getting_cockblocked_by_my_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/found-out-im-getting-cockblocked-by-my-friends.1407104 https://theredarchive.com/post/1407104

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