Reddit and google are the only place to get help.. so im here.. i want to stay positive but its hard.. seeking approval/affection/attention of others is killing my time and my personality. Sometimes i say the most stupid shit to get others to laugh or a bad thing about me to people i might not know.. i cant hold a good conversation with them. Its frustrating. And boring and bland... Sometimes i become very mean or harsh to others, so they will value me ,But they get farther away... my brain is so dead i cant use it. Im so bad in school.. i study a lot still suck ass. Maybe its because im not happy.. maybe i need to take step by step.. but what do i start with??