How do I have a stronger 'frame'?

funnyguymr · 2016-08-22T11:23:57+00:00

depends what you are talking about. you have to be more specific to the situation, but in generally a stronger frame is developed by having more life experiences and learning from mistakes and trying to be a leader in as many aspects of your life as you can

letsgetrandy · 2016-08-22T11:53:22+00:00

Have opinions.

Make observations.

Feel comfortable.

Speak first.

Make yourself known to others, don't wait for them to make themselves known to you.

Jacob_961 · 2016-08-22T11:41:55+00:00

First of all you have to know what frame you are defending. I think your problem has to do with understanding the definition of what a frame is in order to move forward.

The conventional frame is:

"Men should earn women's attention and chase after them" which translates in your interaction as "You should chase me and you should work to get my attention" from the girl's standpoint.

The frame that you want to adopt is the you are the prize hence "It's the girl's job to win you over". Now this frame is harder to defend because social conditioning reinforces the girl's power frame more than yours.

This is where flirting comes in which flips the script. You give comments like "Stop looking at my ass, I'm not a piece of meat.", "I think this is the part where you seduce me.", "Can you cook?" she says "No" and you go "This relationship is not gonna work miss." Although all done in a joking manner, if she buys into the role play, she has essentially bought into your frame that she is trying to seduce you and that she is trying to win you over.

Apparently Derek from RSD had a line whenever he bumped into a married woman he wanted to bang. He would go "If the ring is under 1.5 carats, the marriage doesn't count" which sets the frame that the "I'm married" objection can't be used if the husband hasn't bought an expensive ring and in the same time hits on the point that he is a high baller himself. You get the point.

You have to know what frame you want to defend or impose first before anything.

rmbarnes · 2016-08-22T13:37:45+00:00

Intelligence?

No. Intelligent people often have the most doubt in their mind.

Ignorance?

I've found this to often be the case with people with strong frames.

Experience?

Certainly helps. The been there, done that, got the t shirt feeling helps with frame.

Found this helps with frame: https://krauserpua.com/2016/08/05/assertiveness-training/

Messisfoot · 2016-08-22T13:46:58+00:00

you don't develop "stronger" frames. you gain life experience which let's you develop "multiple" frames to handle any situation.

for a example: you go hit on girls at a bar who have just lost a friend to a car accident. the frame here is two grieving girls and your game won't (normally) work here because you are in a different frame. until you recognize the difference in frame, you will probably approach this wrong (unless your naturally good at this, or are lucky).

another way to see if is a greek marbel bust. if you take a picture, you only get one shot at one angle with certain shadows. to truly appreciate it, you have to look at the status from different angles and distances (frames).

kinpsychosis · 2016-08-22T14:57:20+00:00

Practice I would say, trial and error, nurture your qualities

grass_cutter · 2016-08-22T15:04:02+00:00

Part of the 'frame' is you own internal belief. However it takes more than that. You need to basically impose your frame on the other person.

Part of this is who has the stronger frame. That's partly confidence, the exact situation, what you are saying/ have said, how you react to the situation.

In a way, you have the stronger frame by just experience, confidence, and simply not capitulating. Other contextual factors may or may not be on your side.

punkerdante182 · 2016-08-22T16:58:34+00:00

You have a stronger frame by not worrying about it and having fun. If people think you're taking a social situation too seriously (I.E. like a dance number where you have to get the moves right) they'll notice. Relax, have fun, and remember to stand up straight. Not gaming out every response to every conceivable question.

0newinged · 2016-08-22T20:13:45+00:00

Frame is just not letting external things bother you or at least not letting people notice they bother you.

Setting boundies. not taking shit. Not reacting in an emotional way.

For example when a friend calls you fat you can get defensive (weak frame) or you can ask why he/she thinks so and ask for advice (strong frame).

Title	How do I have a stronger 'frame'?
Author	bubbl0r
Upvotes	54
Comments	15
Date	August 22, 2016 10:21 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4yzvlu/how_do_i_have_a_stronger_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-have-a-stronger-frame.1411266 https://theredarchive.com/post/1411266

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