A High Value Man looks different depending on if a woman or man is describing him. A High Value Woman also looks different.
This is because what is High Value for one sex can be Low Value to the opposite sex. In a game where people are usually marrying up, it becomes impossible for both sides to win. If High and Low are interchangeable depending on which sex is looking at it then we have no consensus.
For example, a HVM to men may mean social and economic power. While women may seek rich men, a HVW to many rich men (unless they have astronomical liquid) is the woman who does Not Want to use his money. In a woman’s perspective, the man being rich and the possibility of him spending on her is What Makes Him a HVM. The HVM wants to use the Men’s Definition however of what a HVM is and impress her with social and economic power. While this may initially turn her on, it does not keep things going. Because this status and power is what other men use to compete with each other, the man believes this is enough. However the woman’s version of HVM is what the man offers her, not what she has to compete with. Therefore the HVM loses his status To Her if he refuses to spend and allow her to enjoy that wealth. He also puts her in her masculine side when he suggests competing.
Enter the LVM. For men, the LVM has no social or economic power. However, to the woman, again it is all about what he is offering. Because the LVM knows he is broke, he will be even more eager to please in other ways. Enter LVM with half of the equation. The younger and higher stamina men and the ‘loving me for who I am’ men because he seeks a way to be needed to her outside of money. If rich men are shouting ‘don’t use me for my money!’ and broke men are shouting ‘love me for me not money!’ then women hear the same thing. Therefore amazing sex can be the strong suit of this character. Which is why we see so many women with baby daddies who are broke and doing time but otherwise ‘alpha’: HVM socially but not economically (half the equation)
If men say they don’t want a woman who enjoys sex and only want a baby making machine and a mistress on the side then unless a woman really really wants kids then that is an incentive for women to become the mistress. Shaming body count because an alpha got there before you makes you look like you weren’t fast enough and not wanting her to like sex makes you …I don’t really have to say how unsexy and unsexable that makes you look right?
The virgin sex-hating live-in maid which might be men’s version of HVW is not aspirational. However the women’s version of loves sex and loves to spend on fun experiences can be. Even taking away the labor: loves sex>sex hating. Just a suggestion.
So enter the laziness of the HVM. Economically blessed men mistakenly believe that their economic power buys the faithfulness of women, because their personal brand buys loyalty from other men. Other men are only loyal because they Want That Spot though. Women Don’t Want to be the man in their relationship typically. This laziness and masculinization of women is why we see so many ‘lonely wives’ who are getting railed by the pool boy. Amazing sex, the HVM feels, is Not Needed for her…because he has economic power and therefore he feels he has nothing else he needs to offer her. However, if the HVM is not spending on her and giving great sex, he is actually offering her less than a social alpha who at least would give her a great experience before disappearing and never paying child support.
So, enter the perfect virgin wife who just wants to pop out kids. She likes economic power. That offers her stability for her children. If the woman is charitable, faithful and sexless: the baby is her only incentive. The baby will 100% become more important than the relationship Because the man offers nothing else to her: no spending, no great sex. Her being a virgin will not make her think WOW OMG HE IS SO GOOD. There is no loophole to a mutually satisfying experience. More likely: it will hurt. Getting small gifts will not make her go OMG HE GOT ME SOMETHING when she has eyes and ears and sees and hears how other women get so much more for what they give.
Enter grooming. To keep women ignorant of how bad the end of the deal they are getting is, men have been picking them younger and younger. Her being in a new home will not make her go OMG HE IS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY ORIGIN FAMILY WHO WOULD NEVER LET ME SUFFER THIS MUCH. Which is why we see so many arguments about people ‘choosing their family member over their partners’ because their partner has failed to reach the level of care their origin family gave them. Which is also why people tend to ‘marry people like their parents’
I am not saying marry your parents. Especially not if abused, infantilized, parentified, alienated, ignored or whatever other plethora of unhealthy dynamics you can imagine.
In summation though, we should be meeting or Exceeding the quality of a relationship for our partner/companion. Can we at least agree on that?