How do I stop identifying with femcel ideology?

Top_Radio_9436 · 2024-03-20T21:42:55+00:00

What you need is CBT and to study logical fallacies, same as redpillers. I have some doubts that FDS even started organically. I think its entirely possible that FDS was originally created by bad actors (undercover redpillers, tradwives, etc.) as a manipulation tool to scare vulnerable men into taking the redpill and keep them. Afterwords, women who share the same cognitive distortions as terpers got sucked in and became unwitting force multipliers.

I know bored NEETS sitting on their asses in my hometown who create fake accounts and post insane stuff in places like that. You literally cannot tell what proportion of people are who they say they are on there. The manosphere also needs subreddits like that as boogiemen. FDS is very convenient for redpillers because it validates what they feel.

EdgewaterEnchantress · 2024-03-19T12:18:02+00:00

By separating individual men from the system of patriarchy. Understand that these are 2 separate entities which only have so much overlap / correlation and “correlation =/= causation.”

Men are not Patriarchy and patriarchy isn’t automatically beneficial to all men. Go ahead and hate patriarchy, along with its ineffective, outdated gender ideals, norms, and standards, just don’t hate random men, for no reason. What purpose does that serve, really??

The same way people don’t choose their skin color / hair color / eye color, their SES, upbringing, their parents, or the culture they were born into, people also do not choose their biological “sex assigned at birth.” These are all static characteristics. What matters is education and individual choice.

It also helps to understand that “patriarchy is bad for men, too.” Having an extra privilege by “being born a biological male” can also be minimized/ mitigated by so many other factors outside of an individual person’s control. (Skin color, economic status, not identifying one’s gender identity with said biological sex, sexual orientation, and etc……….)

Think of men starting out at “a plus one by being assigned ‘male’ at birth,” and immediately subtract 1 point for every deviation like “race,” “ethnicity,” “gender identity,” “being born into a low class community or poor neighborhood,” “sexuality,” being primarily raised in “a single parent home,” parents renting someone else’s property vs owning their own property, etc….. and it quickly becomes apparent that “Oh, crap! A rather large portion of people ‘assigned male at birth,’ actually start out with a ‘Zero, like me,’ and quite possibly even a negative number, unlike me.”

Being “assigned female at birth” simply starts you out at a “= 0,” rather than “a plus +1,” and “add back a point if you are white,” “add a point if you were raised in a two-parent home,” “add 2 points if you have a pretty face and an average-to-aesthetically preferred body,” “add a point back if the community you were primarily born into was more liberal / progressive,” “add a point for an average or better primary school,” “add a point if you lived within walking distance of a library, clinic / hospital, or a grocery store,” then “subtract points as needed,” and etc……….

“Male vs Female” is “only worth one point,” so its inherent “advantage” still isn’t very high on its own, is it?

Patriarchy doesn’t want men who diverge from “the standard” having any kind of outlet, voice, or support! So don’t isolate them, further.

A lot of “Redpill ideology” actually seeks to separate individual boys and men from their cohorts and peers by isolating and indoctrinating them, very much like a cult! They know what they are doing when they utilize and weaponize young, impressionable men.

Which is why you have to take the time to get to know individual humans in order to understand that “this particular man isn’t so bad.”

You can’t necessarily do anything for Redpill-ers who “aren’t ready to leave the cult yet” though. They are a lost cause until they decide “this belief system ain’t it for me.”

But you can give men not obviously aligned or identified with “the redpill cult” a fair and equal chance to prove their basic human decency!

While some men won’t have it, the majority, as in at least 51%, still will, and often it is a lot more than “51% Percent.”

Just talk to people, all kinds of people from all walks of life, their varied backgrounds, and you will literally see “wow, perception is always very skewed by an individual’s subjective point-of-view.”

Think bigger than a single article or video talking about a specific, criminally violent male, and understand that he is an extreme minority! (4% or less.)

Statistics are great but you also have to understand that they are meant to isolate and attempt to measure a specific and singular variable. “Learn how to read and interpret the data better” and, more importantly, get to know more individual people by actually actively listening to them speak.

Understand that “men are not patriarchy because men are not a system.” Men are individual human beings. A system is just that, “a system.” The system is “the object.” People just live within it, the same way that you and I do.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-03-19T17:19:43+00:00

Same thing with incel/reddit garbage, avoid that "femcel"/"femaledatingstrategy" garbage online. Like redpill garbage, femaledatingstrategy is written to just be inflammatory and get in your head, even if you know it is garbage. It's not meant to be right, it's meant to sell ebooks or ad clicks.

A common thread on those people's posts: none of them are happy after taking that life advice.

fembitch97 · 2024-03-20T21:41:19+00:00

I think you could also get some good advice on this in the Feminist subs! We’ve seen questions like this before and it’s a relatable topic for a lot of women

forgotten-login · 2024-03-19T21:28:59+00:00

Woman suck as often as men do. People are people.

Iomiere · 2024-03-21T15:57:41+00:00

There are plenty of guys like me who want nothing from you other than to wish you a pleasant day! It is important to keep in mind that there is always nuance to every topic and black and white categorical thinking can hinder the ways in which we interact with the world and the people around us.

ROBYoutube · 2024-03-19T17:38:02+00:00

Hate is so much effort. Mistreatment should absolutely leave you wary of men. That's a reasonable reaction and precaution to take, because it will help keep you safe.

Hate though? Does that keep you safe? Is it anything other than a waste of your time and energy?

Regardless, it's your decision, good luck.

Snicker94 · 2024-03-21T02:43:05+00:00

First of all put this in mind you don't need to care about half of population of world. You need to focus on yourself first and try to find what's important for you and what is not. Then find a person who shares same personality and views like you. Make sure they don't only respect you but how they treat others overall.

GladysSchwartz23 · 2024-03-19T15:15:20+00:00

I think it's healthy to be wary of people who, by dint of socialization, are openly encouraged to hurt you, and who are granted social power over you. The problem is always when you stop seeing any given group as human the same way you and others like you are. Like women, men are individuals and many of them are capable of pushing through this socialization and being freaking awesome. (And, many women are terrible! If you focus on the worst individuals and use them to generalize about a group, you can't trust or like anyone!)

No_Jelly_6635 · 2024-03-22T04:28:27+00:00

There are shitty people in both groups. I met a gay woman and while dating women as a woman might be different than a man dating a woman they’re experiences are still trash.

I had a coworker that was a lesbian as well as she has told me of her very negative experiences. I think relationships are difficult for everyone. And there isn’t a whole group (I.e. gender, colour etc) that is “all good” or “all bad” because people are people.

Ask yourself what you want in life. Don’t look at statistics or consume the shitty material. Your life experiences are a unique one,

Electrical_King4147 · 2024-03-24T05:39:50+00:00

Ultimately gotta understand there are good people and there are bad people of both genders. Sounds like the stuff you read didn't help you one bit. The bottom line is what is going on on the inside matters especially if it's poisoning how you treat people. Like lets explore this resentment if it will help you. You can use me as an example if you need proof of a man who isn't a rapist, cuz I'm not, nor am I a misogynist. Ultimately you just need a proof of concept but you also have to be willing to have the information you have been consuming to be proven wrong.

You've been mistreated, and that's valid, but you also have to understand that you run the possibility of punishing innocent men for the sins of guilty men, and that's how the cycle of pain goes around. Be mindful not to become the very thing that hurt you, because that's how they truly win is to recreate themselves in you and for you to be fine with it, it's like you lose yourself the natural goodness that you had, and you let them take it from you and that's just what they wanted, that's their win cuz you gave what should not be given to their kind.

If reading the stuff is what poisons you then stop. Otherwise your argument is probably you use it to keep yourself inoculated and reminded of the potential of you being hurt or betrayed or harmed. Like you don't want to get bamboozled again so its something you don't wanna forget and let naivete take over or let someone take advantage of you and you just let it slide. Give new people you meet a chance, but also keep your eyes open. Be kind, be graceful, but be aware. Like if you've had a dude steal money from you then it's not wrong to refuse to give money or loans to people who you don't feel they are good for it. It's the equivilant of guys not buying drinks if they don't feel comfortable about buying strangers stuff being how you start relationships, just as an example.

Do whats right for you, and that includes being both protecting your well being, but also being open to meeting people without judgement until they give you clear reason to, and not something just a construct of your mind. if someone does something that bothers you you both gotta have the humility and respect for each other to talk about it. if someone told me I did something hurtful I would want to know so I can apologize and do better, as an example. holding something against me and not letting me know if you have like a politeness complex and can't assert yourself is a separate thing that can affect that. If it's someone like me and they are open and vulnerable with me about that overly polite nature then I can know to push her for an answer if she needs a little help asserting herself properly. People should be willing to have those conversations and also be understanding that different people come from different backgrounds and places. One person might see that as an invitation to abuse you or some shit, that means they're horrible people and when they take advantage of that you walk, otherwise everyone needs people in their life to be vulnerable with, whether man or woman. It seems like an increasingly scarce thing cuz you gotta trust and be trusted, and not betray the other persons trust and hope they don't betray yours either. Both people gotta want the other person to "win" too in the relationship and not someone is a winner and someone is a loser. I think that's important to learn about someone if that's how they treat relationships is if they want "win/win" and will take your best interest into account in their decisions too, especially in how they treat you. People who care about you want to be happy, they will be willing to be a part of that happiness. Think that's what love is, whether platonic or otherwise.

EffectiveMarch1858 · 2024-03-19T11:17:11+00:00

If you think your post is reasonable, surely you should be ok with the following too, as your belief seems to be that the actions of a few people within a group are indicative of all people in that group.

I’m kind of a racist, but I’m not sure if that’s exactly a healthy worldview to have or if it’s even 100% correct.

I’ve met a few black people in the past year or so that have actually been decent people. And I reconnected with a few black male family members who are actually pretty chill and decent people.

But I have this deep rooted almost fear or resentment of black people due to being mistreated in the past.

I used to read posts and post on stormfront forums. It kind of just fed into the self loathing and racism even more.

Yes there are bad black people in the world.

But there may also be good black people.

There is a lot of cultural expectations on white people that I don’t like that also feed into my resentment.

How do I stop hating black people?

Hopefully you realise that this is completely unhinged.

Assuming you are not a TERF, at what point do you start hating trans-men? Is it when they realise they are trans? Is it when they start identifying outwardly? All of these seem really disgusting, no?

How about children? Is it the second they turn 18 that you start hating them? Do you hate them before then? If so, why do you hate children?

I don't doubt that this process might take a while for you to unpack, but hopefully this will give you a starting point. Hating a whole group of people is never a good thing.

Rick3119 · 2024-03-26T12:01:33+00:00

If you want to stop hating men, start by appreciating everything men do for you. Like fighting in the revolutionary war and dying so that you can live free. Paving the roads, building the car that takes you back and forth to work. Creating your workplace, building all the buildings, generating electricity, inventing all the mechanisms necessary for you to enjoy good entertainment. Creating the economy, and the very concept of money. Creating and making up the vast majority of police and the military. Everything that makes your life easier has been created by men . . . and mostly for women. News flash, because we love our daughters, wives, mothers and sisters so much we allow women to curse the whole lot of us. If a comparable amount of men truly felt about women the way so many of you do about us . . . I shutter at the thought. You all being so weak and useless. If we actually wanted to oppress you all, your entire gender would be crushed in an afternoon.

Title	How do I stop identifying with femcel ideology?
Author	Ambitious-Angel-777
Upvotes	28
Comments	32
Date	March 19, 2024 9:46 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1bigedg/how_do_i_stop_identifying_with_femcel_ideology/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-stop-identifying-with-femcel-ideology.1427045 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427045

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