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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
It doesn't sound like you like yourself very much. Do you? You won't really get anywhere if you don't love your life.
Do you do much? Do you have any hobbies? Do you have many opinions? Are there any specific things that you're really good at? Need a bit more context!
[–]Fangore 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
You did hit the nail on the head!
I practice magic and play dodgeball. I'd say that's it. I just got my University degree and will have my job in September, so I an just waiting for that to start.
However I don't do much. Yesterday I had a day off and I pretty much just lounged around the house (and practiced magic tricks) until the evening where I played boardgames.
I do want to make myself more interesting but don't have much to go off of. There isn't much I'm interested in right now.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
In my head, if I've got enough time to waste time, I'm not living! I felt this way. I then found my thing: salsa dancing. You have to dance in a circle and change partners every couple of minutes, which is similar to speed dating really. I could meet hundreds of people in one night if I want, and it's one of the only hobbies I do where people don't care if I'm good at because just the fact I do it is impressive to them. I got several numbers from just one night of salsa! Nothing hotter than being so close to someone you can smell their cologne... :D
Is there anything similar to that that you think you'd enjoy? Even then, if you're needing to 'find yourself' through some new hobbies, why don't you go to anything and everything! Not only will you learn about yourself but you'll meet so many new people without having the awkward 'soooo... what do we do now?'
[–]Fangore 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I just cant think of things I want to try! One thing I wanted to get into is boxing training. So I want to do classes on that. However I'm also thinking of doing a cooking class.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do both! That sounds awesome. A boxer who's good at cooking? Swoon
[–]Lord_Skellig 9 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
and practiced magic tricks
What are you working on?
Just basic bar tricks. Mainly card tricks. Every once in a while I will get hammered and do magic tricks for randoms at the local pub.
[–]Lord_Skellig1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Ah cool. I've found that magic can be a good tool for attraction (not that I got into for that reason, I just like entertaining people). Especially tricks that build an emotional connection, things like mentalism tricks. Sealed With A Kiss is also a great card trick that has a very intimate feel.
[–]marthdotsk 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Could it be because you're more focused on "playing" the confident guy rather than taking care of the confidence issue altogether?
[–]ThePUA_Baddie 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I recommend that you focus on opening consistently. There's nothing wrong with being friendly in set, you just need to make sure you're attracting her early on with strong behavior. As you talk with her and build more rapport you can begin to tease here and there. The key is to keep opening
[–]kalolilo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It takes a lot longer to put theory to practice than 1 month.
Once you're in 2-3 years, you're pretty good, but before that it's quite a mess often. :)
[–]moontripper1246 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It's not really about what you say it's about how you say it. This leads into ideas and practices regarding sub communications. Don't think that you're boring, you can %5000 make magic and dodgeball cool to chicks, without a doubt in my mind. How has NO ONE told YOU about Mystery? Of all people who need to know about this guy and learn from him, you're like #1. Seriously guys.....dropping the ball on all the original tech. Mystery was a famous PUA who laid all the barebones 'rules' for game that still hold up to this day. He was a fucking magician. He would go out and seduce girls with magic tricks, your going to love this guy. Hell, he has routines that USE magic.
.....my point is, your interesting enough, you don't need to find some extreme sport hobby if that's not part of your personality (or who you WANT to become, don't let me stop you from doing things you want to deep down). That's why Game is so great, you se it to express how awesome you already are, yo don't need to change who you are at the core of your being to date women who genuinely love you (whatever that really means).
So to recap, 1) it's not what your saying (a bit) it's how your saying it. What's your body language like, your eye contact, your tone of voice, do you have a lot of pauses etc...
2) I doubt you have much of a gamelan in regards of what to ACTUALLY SAY if your forgetting the "basic ways of building attraction". So Imma ask you this: what are the basic ways of building attraction?
When you answer we'll work out what you can legitimately say to women when you go out.
(Props on going out)
[–]Fangore 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
What are the basic ways of building attraction
This is the quick abridged version if what I have learnt here. You want to keep it playful. Compliment her on her looks. Show her that you are a man with sexual needs. Tease her a bit. Touch her from time to time. Once you have the attraction, keep it a bit more personal while throwing in attraction bits. Make your intentions clear.
That's what I know.
I do not consider myself a "happy" person and do want more to my life to fill that void. I just don't know what!
Also I'm going to look up that mystety PUA you mentioned!
[–]moontripper1246 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
-Keep it playful
-Compliment her on her looks
-Show sexual intent
-Tease her (aka keep it playful)
-Kino (physical touch, showing sexual intent, compliment her on her look through actions)
-Comfort (spending time together and sharing your life with her/her sharing her life with you)
So what do you say? What do you do? I get that it's hard to remember and it might even be embarrassing, but I don't really want to ramble on in a comment section and have none of it be relevant.
I'll give you an example to get started. I assume your going out to clubs and bars right?
So I'm at one of my favorite venues with a few friends (keeps my state pumped up, i.e.. it's HARDER to have FUN when I'm anxious), and I'm talking to a few random people, flirting with girl who seem receptive and being nice to the ones who aren't (talking to everyone, getting myself unstifled and social.....giving myself a chance without beating myself up), and I see a girl I like. I go and talk to her, honestly this was a long time ago so I can't remember how I opened her, but she tells me she's from New York, and I start calling her a liar. Telling her she shouldn't lie, she's too sweet to lie, why do you have to lie so much Love? Shit like that. I start playing with her hands while I call her a liar and ask her about her fake life, what did she do in New York, why did she move out here, who is she here with. She perks up and introduces me to her friend who she works with. Loll, she introduced me by saying "he keep scaling me a liar!". I treated her friend like normal, "ooh nice to meet you I'm moontripper, yeah I've known your friend for years, yeah she's cool." Then they started to talk about work stuff and I got bored so I left to talk to my friends. I assumed that I would find them later in the night, but I never did! Missed opportunity.
Not the best FR, could have remembered more and written it more beautifully but I think it gets the point across. Now we have a concrete situation that we can look at and say "okay, this is where attraction was made, this is where you started comfort, this is where the set fizzled out, this is where you should have done x etc." Instead of this vague, "I think generally do x". Fuck that. You go out, bring us specifics, otherwise all you'll ever get is generalized bullshit. And that's not nearly as helpful.
I should have stuck in the set, isolated the girl, dance with her a bit, gotten her friend to like me more, then bounced her to get food or straight to one of our places. Instead I left because of my bullshit attention span haha.
So write out something that actually happened to you.
When I go out (which is probably Saturday night) can I PM you my FR (BTW I'm new to this sub, what does FR mean?)? Mainly because not many situations pop up right now.
[–]moontripper1246 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fersure mate, I'm very down to give you thoughts and stuff if you PM me. Honestly I'd like it if you wrote out your FR and posted it in the sub, and also PM'd me (otherwise I'll forget to look for the post) so that lurkers who haven't started to go out yet can gain some confidence and second hand experience through you, but that's up to you in the end. (Still send me your FR's)
FR= field report (a detailed recounting of a night out or specific interaction. Usually involving a hazy retelling of a conversation, quotations, nicknames and all)
And still, Props on going out.
[–]DaygameCoach 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is approach anxiety -- your mind finding excuses not to open or do things that push your limits. Read the sidebar help on approach anxiety ... and the rest too. Open 10 women a day, 4-5 days a week for 6 months and let us know how it goes. a month isn't enough.
You can take improv classes. And, you can talk about common topics like food, travel, popular (with women) movies and TV, the arts, hiking (and other adventure sports), fashion, etc.
Kill the self limiting beliefs. If you think you are boring or can't do something, it is true for you.
Cuisine, daygamer.net
[–]mewinstead 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know canned materials are cheesy corny n stuff, but memorize some, to a point where you can deliver it on autopilot. Once you do that you have the brain capacity to pay attention to your posture, delivery, body language, what to say next, all while delivering the material. Do that till all those become subconscious and autopilot. THATS when you swap out the canned material. A lot of people knows all the theories but fail to put in the practice, don't be that person
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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fangore 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fangore 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lord_Skellig [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fangore 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Lord_Skellig1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]marthdotsk 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThePUA_Baddie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kalolilo 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]moontripper1246 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fangore 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]moontripper1246 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fangore 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]moontripper1246 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DaygameCoach 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mewinstead 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link