Seeing other people kissing seriously hurts

jwzbengeen11 · 2017-10-10T14:34:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

LimitedContributor · 2017-10-10T14:57:53+00:00

I never had a girlfriend, dude. Walk a day in my shoes.

Them kissing doesn't affect me for some reason but, seeing them hold hands, hold her waist and the idea of them having sex destroys my hope. Also, if I'm too old for her.

Lutodownnow · 2017-10-11T07:43:05+00:00

I'd like to say that what you're feeling is normal. Not "normal for a 19 year old" but normal for everyone. So don't feel so adamant about labeling the feelings you have as insecure, jealous, depressed, self conscious or any of the other terms you mentioned. Labeling it wont make it feel better. Especially since it's most likely a product of a bit of all of those feelings combined and that's okay. Having those feelings is just your brain making sure you are in check for socially surviving. I know that no one ever told me that happiness is just one feeling you can have and there is an enormous amount of other emotions you, as a healthy person, should experience as well and they all get equal face time. So let me possibly be the first to tell you you're supposed to feel like shit a lot of the time because a lot of the emotions people are made of aren't positive. It's fine - as long as it's for different reasons, varying degrees and you learn from what made you feel like shit.

You say you're below average or average in the looks department, you're average height, average intelligence, a good body and below average sanity but you don't say anything about who you are. What your into, what your passions are, what you want your future to be. You're 19 so that means you're in a cesspool of other teenagers or early 20 people that are all as awkward or more awkward than you and you can't seem to, even anonymously say one thing that makes you, adamantly, "you" that isn't physical.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and forgive me if I'm completely off the mark, but you don't seem to like to share what you're into intellectually or emotionally that sets you apart from other people you socialize with. If you hang out with mostly other men then figuring out how to convey, socially, who you are or who you are aiming to be might get the monkey off your back that is making you fade into the background of these other men. Even if you hung out with a gaggle of women I'm not sure your situation would change.

Tell us about yourself. What you like, dislike and want for yourself. Maybe opening up here will help you move forward in your situation? In the very least, we could offer you some guidance.

bhagwajhenda · 2017-10-10T15:33:39+00:00

Dude, you have a good awareness of your emotions, are true to yourself and you know when to ask for help. You are clearly above average in sanity :)

Ragondux · 2017-10-10T14:24:00+00:00

How come all of your colleagues and classmates are guys? Do you work in IT? Maybe find new hobbies that might have girls?

Regarding your main issue, I think it's normal to feel a bit depressed when you're down and people around you are happy.

ThePUA_Baddie · 2017-10-10T14:58:35+00:00

you're just feeling like shit at the moment. I suggest you stop reading pick up material for a few days/week and then come back to it. once you've been in this for years you're so hardened by all the bullshit and already have a solid amount of lays/experience under your belt that you just stop giving a fuck. good luck

SyrusDrake · 2017-10-11T11:18:44+00:00

I know that feeling. Up until a few months ago, seeing couples exchange affections would absolutely destroy me inside. I managed to mostly get over it though. I practice mindfulness meditation every day, which helps me become aware of my own negative thoughts and let go of them as soon as they show up. Also, you know, therapy and medication probably helped too...

Other than you, I go to a university where, I think, girls are a majority and I probably just have as many female as male friends. Trust me, it doesn't really change anything. Maybe it's even worse. Think having to work in a confectionery while on a diet.

I can't tell you what to do. All I can do is offer sympathy and hopefully make you feel less alone. I can relate to your experience, you're not weird or different for feeling that way. And really, you've made far more progress than me (or many others). I'm 27 and never had a gf, kissless virgin, I wouldn't even have held hands with a girl if a friend hadn't grabbed and held my hand once. You're only 19 and already have experience with girls.
My flame has burned out, nobody has choosen me so far and now I'm probably too old for anyone to do so. But you're much younger. Heck, you're still a teen. You sound like a clever, emotionally aware person. You still have every chance to find someone. Don't give up!
Soon it will be your chance to make other people jealous ;)

Gabbru · 2017-10-10T15:20:19+00:00

Smoke some weed and focus on yourself: workout, studies, go out with friends or try out tinder even.

youhawhat · 2017-10-11T07:16:30+00:00

Sigh. I guess every newbie gets one free cringe post. But seriously man if you're still caught up on your ex and it's killing your game you gotta let it go. We've all been there and everytime it seems like the world is over and everytime its not. 19 is nothing. Im only 22 and even I feel like when I was 19 was a lifetime ago... When I was 17 I thought I was gonna marry my gf, when I was 19 I thought I was going to marry my next gf, when I was 21 I really really thought I had found the one, and now Im like fuck it theres a lot of life left to live.

So first thing is you need to bring yourself back into a state of self awareness. Stop fapping for a few days, stop smoking weed, try to eat some really healthy food, if you don't want to got to the gym at least go on a run or something. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel instantly. Next, Im not sure how old your siblings are, but maybe the easiest thing to do would be to ask your brother and his gf to introduce you to some of her friends. Or get some of your friends and go out with your number one intention to have fun on your own, and second to meet some girls. Im not sure what your situation is as far as being in uni or what but go out to a bar or hell even a bowling alley. You can meet girls anywhere

The number one thing is that you have to like yourself before anyone else will like you.

ReddLemon · 2017-10-10T19:26:18+00:00

Dude can't you just use tinder or something lmao

Title	Seeing other people kissing seriously hurts
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	26
Comments	38
Date	October 10, 2017 2:03 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/75h8pg/seeing_other_people_kissing_seriously_hurts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seeing-other-people-kissing-seriously-hurts.1435050 https://theredarchive.com/post/1435050

Comments