Stop beating a dead horse, walk away from women who bring you down.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-12-16T12:58:19+00:00

1

If Kacie ever breaks up with me......I'm sad we never closed

You were having something formal enough that "break up" would even make comedic sense, and you hadn't closed? I have to wonder if you weren't shooting yourself in the foot with your "humor."

It's pretty common for people to close before it ever comes close to a point where it involves a commitment.

2

I'm grateful for what she taught me; I'm not the problem......Everything I ever said to her, would be met with "Uhhhh... what do you mean?"

Sometimes what's happening in cases like this, is that something doesn't quite work for the other person, and they are subconsciously looking for an excuse/reason to break things off. They're looking for problems and often generating them by their own reaction/overreaction to things.

But at the heart of it, something just isn't fitting for them and they just don't understand what it is. But they feel guilty to say that they want to end it and don't know why. So they search for something concrete that they can point to.

This girl could be one of those situations. In which case, it wouldn't be about you or her being the problem. Sometimes you can have two awesome people come together and it just doesn't work. Often, actually.

3

I'm thankful to Kacie for teaching me that I literally have no standards for a woman's personality.... 95% of the time all those women were analyzing my personality.

We all have our own lessons to work out in life. And what happens is that we attract people who bring those lessons for us. Kacie was one of those for you.

4

I would just ignore things that killed me like girls refusing to eat seafood ever (which I love), being overtly materialistic, or being Republican. I have dated a number of women who were not terribly "Open" in psychological terms and it is probably not best for me.

Eating seafood: Come on. Lots of grills serve seafood among other options. Worst case, you go eat seafood by yourself with buddies sometimes and she lives with it. Food preference is not very high in priority on the list of life values here.
Materialism: This is more of a value that you shouldn't be compromising on because it affects your whole approach to life and a lot of the interactions you have.
Being Republican: Definitely something more substantial that you should stick to; much more of an important life value that you probably should share with someone you'd have a relationship with.
Being "open". I guess it depends on what you mean by "open." The joke about asking that friend of Kacie's to call you up if you guys ever broke up..... that was not really that funny. It was awkward. However, perennial stick in the muds are not good to be around either.

5

The hard part about being a funny guy is that everybody loves you when you hit or when you tickle their spine with dark humor but everybody HATES you when you miss. One off color joke that landed with the friends can make a girl stop answering your texts.

Look, this is something you have to explore for yourself. Sure, humor shouldn't be a problem.

But based on the one sample you've provided, and the overall pattern you've described about girls constantly being turned off and ghosting you for your "humor," it sounds like you're being awkward, kind of selfish, and a little tone deaf about your comments. It could even be possible that you have driven some girls away needlessly with your humor.

You're not a comedian who makes millions for controversial humor. It's good to self-amuse as you're doing, but at some point, if you refuse to calibrate according to your audience, it's just being stubborn and dickish.

If it keeps happening and it's not just women (be honest with yourself here), then the common thread would seem to be you. It would seem to indicate that you could calibrate yourself and your humor a little without compromising who you are.

dohn_joeb · 2017-12-16T19:52:11+00:00

Rationalizing mediocre behavior isn’t going to get you anywhere.

shakaman_ · 2017-12-16T14:15:59+00:00

You're comment was out of line, and you're delusional.

"I am not willing to involve myself in an endless cycle of apologizing for who I am and what makes me happy or what I think is funny, and you shouldn't either."

Those of the words of a narcissist dickhead

Kronicl3s · 2017-12-17T00:03:04+00:00

Why dont you just come to terms with the facts?

The girl you like doesn't think you're funny.
Your "dark humour" is creepy and shallow asf

GimmeSomeLiquid · 2017-12-17T02:48:50+00:00

Idiot. Admit your mistakes and move the fuck on. Fucking robot.

Garthanthoclops · 2017-12-16T20:43:18+00:00

Yeah don't beat women

ducky27 · 2017-12-17T01:56:10+00:00

Poorly titled thread

themissusoftheiron · 2017-12-17T08:49:44+00:00

Sounds like this would be a fit for r/niceguys

bubba2match · 2017-12-16T21:19:19+00:00

I think the trouble a lot of guys have with this is getting to a point where "walking away" actually means something personal to them. I think there are many ways to 'walk away', and not a lot of them are nice. The mental twist required for a nice guy to do this is akin to killing off a part of yourself. So, guys are wanting comfort in doing something what other guys (who have already done it) are saying is super easy. What I say is that the You that is truly there; has been there in the past, is there now, and will be there in the future; will never go away. You can drop any relationship, and it will be fine in the grand scheme of things. Recognize what that relationship means to you (what it represents), and acknowledge that you're not holding onto reality. You're holding onto an ideal, and that ideal is not part of your true self. A lot of funny guys have emotional issues that fuel the jokes, and what I've found is that each joke you tell contains a grain of truth that hints at the person beneath the surface. If you find people are hot when you're funny and cold when you're not, chances are they're feeling like they've been lied to by the humor. If I were you, I would consider not being funny for a while. OR... If someone starts laughing at something you said, because they expect you to be funny, point out the emotional truth behind the joke that isn't funny. In other words, beat them to the punch of seriousness. That way, you're not covering up anything with your humor. Nobody can fault you for being honest.

eyes-no-eyes · 2017-12-16T21:53:00+00:00

I just ended things with this interesting girl - while we'd meet up once every few weeks and have a great time together, she would go through these insecure moods where she would accuse me of ghosting if i didn't respond to a text in a day. Recently, she started to gaslight me, so I got the fuck out of dodge. Do what's best for you, my dude.

NoloRadio · 2017-12-18T07:57:43+00:00

Standards are fucking great.

Sotirakiss2 · 2017-12-16T20:40:52+00:00

why all the hate in the comments ??? there are millions upon millions of girls out there. are we supposed to shame a guy for trying to find someone that clicks with him ?? By the way congrats for your realisations....lessons learned...move on

Title	Stop beating a dead horse, walk away from women who bring you down.
Author	MartMillz
Upvotes	189
Comments	31
Date	December 16, 2017 10:33 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7k6dw2/stop_beating_a_dead_horse_walk_away_from_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/stop-beating-a-dead-horse-walk-away-from-women-who.1438544 https://theredarchive.com/post/1438544

Comments