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[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 8 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
The chase excited you my dude I'm the same way ..sex is boring but definitely gdtting them to pay attention to you and convincing them that you're actually interesting is way more fun
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
How do I fix it tho? I have a FWB so maybe that’s also a problem?
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No clue how to fix it... Girls that are easy are just incredibly boring so maybe try getting with a girl that's difficult
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I think this is a self esteem issue, your scared you will get hurt again, so you try to convince yourself girls aren’t worth it.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Good point of perspective but I’ve never been ‘hurt’ I’ve had one serious relationship and I’m still good friends with her. Maybe I’m scared to get back out in the dating pool? Idk lol
[–]billiam632 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I’m still good friends with her
Thats the problem.
I've been there and that is going to cause a lot of issues.
Another thing. Are you meeting these girls from Tinder? If so, then ditch it. Approach girls in person and you will find yourself way more interested. When you browse hundreds of pictures of girls and you keep seeing 9s and 10s but match with an 8, you get disappointed. It feels good to make them chase but its not fun beyond that. When you approach an 8 in public, it is totally different. You will find yourself much more excited about making moves her.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Ahh the EX thing... I knew it would appear somewhere and I can’t even disagree with you 🙈 I don’t know how to stop it tho :/. Yeah it’s kinda a mix of both, I’ve gained a lot of self confidence and worked on myself lately so I’m trying to ween myself from tinder these days. I only use snapchat insta and tinder but that’s it. I’ve ditched all other social media
[–]billiam632 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The ex thing is hard. I was in your exact position. I got tons of numbers and flaked on dozens of women week after week. It was really weird how when I was the most apathetic, I had the most success. Don't sweat it man. You will come around after you distance yourself from your ex a bit more.
You are friends with her because right now she seems like a great person to be friends with. At least thats what youre telling yourself. The truth is, you do not need more friends. You do not need her as a friend. The more you think positively of her, the more you will think negatively of other women.
I am not saying you need to start hating her. But begin to distance yourself. No need to do it all at once. But do not be hitting her up on a weekly basis to "check in". Do not respond to all of her texts and calls. She should not be the female you are communicating with the most.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yep, as expected. Right where it hurts. Your so right mate, I’ll try my best
[–]billiam632 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Take your time man. No need to rush to cut her out of your life. In a few week/months, you two will naturally drift apart anyway. When that happens you will find a new woman to obsess over and the whole process starts over again :)
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It’s been 2 years 😅 but tbh I don’t obsess over her and she annoys me more than ever. Yep, I don’t understand either but I’ve been rolling with it for 2 years and still nothings happened lol
[–]thedessertplanet 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Perhaps just find a different hobby for a while?
[–]mrburberry 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I went through EXACTLY what you did, I've even commented about it before. The chase excited me, I'd schedule hookups and then ditch on them.
There's no fix. I have what I expect to be an LTR now with a woman I do genuinely like and care for. I didn't "do" anything, I just happened upon her.
What I think it really is, is that after overcoming oneitis, you are better at seeing what women really have to offer. Your not chasing women can actually be very very good, because when you finally do feel something for someone, you know it's genuine. Unless of course, you're in it just to fuck, which is still awesome. In that case just do it.
Basically what I'm saying is that you're putting these girls on less of a pedestal than before and they have less value to you now, after being realistic to yourself about the value of one you were enamored with for so long. A good thing overall. Best of luck
[–]Rocky__c 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i've heard the truth by Neil Strauss helps
[–]daunreleased 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination." - Drake Perhaps because you chased this one girl you want that sensation of being chased by other girls, but it's not fun after a while when you get what you intended. When that one worth your effort appears you will have skill to seduce her and start something meaningful. Good luck m8!
[–]TurquoiseCorner 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't really see a problem here. You don't need to constantly be pursuing sex from girls. If you can't be arsed pursuing these girls then don't.
[–]IntrovertedMagma 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
wow.. I am going through the exact same thing. I don't see it as a problem though, I think I am just not in mood.
[–]Dweebl 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you don't feel like it, don't do it. But I would say that you might find it worthwhile to push yourself to meet up with them. You'll definitely have a more worthwhile experience going out and meeting someone (as long as you actually think they might be fun to be around) than staying home.
[–]BigBootyRatchets 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lifting weights and excercising raise your testosterone if you think that might be it. Did you get your estrogen checked too? Could potentially (unlikely though) be your thyroid.
Or perhaps youre just going through a phaze, ride it out
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s a good shout, I might just get it checked. I’m lifting 4 tines a week atm. My testosterone check came back on the high side of normal so I’m good in that department too
[–]Number_Four4 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Not really on topic but i noticed you are from the UK. This subreddit seems US focused, how have you found doing some of the techniques and stuff from this subreddit?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Yeah don’t worry, all questions are welcome haha! Well tbh the UK is so different from US that a good bit of the stuff you read here/watch on YouTube doesn’t work. Simply put, Uk girls aren’t as friendly/open to talking in public and I think that’s where a lot of the UK drinking scene comes from. It opens people up and makes them more receptive to talking.
To answer your question if you take what people say on here and put a little British twist on it then you can make it work but from what I’ve found a lot of the advice here doesn’t work. If your meeting someone sober it’s 99% of the time through a friend.
Ps. I’m from Scotland
[–]Number_Four4 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Thank you my man! That's what I was thinking, the US scene seems so much more open than over here. I am certainly glad I'm in an industry where drinking is big then! Do you really think they're more open though? I would still be surprised by that!
And I definitely agree with meeting through a friend. UK = 0% chance of success cold approaching.
You're the first guy that I've seen on here from the UK. Seems a mostly US sub.
Thanks for the great reply! :)
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Weirdly I’m happy to that someone sees this from my point of view because I’ve sat and thought about this before.
Yeah there defo more open as I’ve personally picked girls up from the pub/night club. You need to really feel the vibe that there digging you or else your gonna fall flat on your face. Believe this or not but I was in a bar and miss Scotland (2014 or something) actually came up and started speaking to me and my mate, ended up meeting up with them a few times at the pub etc but I found it funny how she was miss Scotland but yet she approached us lol
[–]Number_Four4 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hmmm maybe I need to get better at this vibe work because I'm bloody clueless lol. Have you got any tips for this?
Lol tbh It is a rarity that a girl approaches a guy in the UK, very rare ahaha. Maybe you was giving off a good vibe or something?
Glad to see someone from the UK!
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Generally our friends group is always having a laugh and we are always on point (looking good) so I’m guessing that also played a big part. The whole vibe thing is that you just need to radiate confidence and that your out for a good time, start of by just smiling at girls when yous catch eyes, I work in customer service so I’m always on the shop floor and I do this all the time, it just makes you feel good and gets away any anxiety you have, also makes eye contact easier after a while.
Just feel good about yourself bro and everything falls into place.
[–]Number_Four4 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you man this is a very useful comment, I really need to work on feeling good about myself so I guess I'll have to get some decent progress now ahah.
Have a good day!
[–]canarywocoalmine 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Get more sun. When its sunny, I'm super horny, when not, not so much. Oddly my testosterone is good, I checked while weather was bad, going to check again after a week of sunlight. I'm suspecting my libido is driven by more than just T. And I supplement D like crazy, still has an effect.
I take a multivitamin everyday and it has 200% rda of vitamin D. Also I live in Scotland, let’s keep this simple... what’s sun?
[–]canarywocoalmine 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Try a sun replacement lamp. Maybe $100. Helps me some.
[–]Scrub_TLC 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stop, looking at porn and only jerk off at most once per week.... It'll come back ;)
When it's Wednesday, and you can't stop fidgeting after a sexy girl walks by cause you have so much Jizz built up, or it's been a month and a half since you unloaded you will find a way and it's so satisfying.
When you get to the point random lays are not doing it for you, then find higher quality women and date them for a bit, take a break from game. Focus on having a relationship, building friendships with guys, improving your lifestyle, and learning how to get threesome with your gf. Think about it, you will likely not want to game forever so you might as well learn how to get threesome in a committed relationship so if you want to have kids at some point you can not lose out on pussy wile you raise them...
[–]ProfTeamun -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Stop fapping
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not the problem, I only fap about 2x a week
[–]ProfTeamun 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fair I mean just stop till you want to pursue. Maybe make some more girl freinds
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[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (16 children) | Copy Link
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