I lose my skills when my more alpha friend is with me

smittyjr95 · 2019-05-31T00:10:26+00:00

Seems like you just lack confidence. Any man who feels like an "alpha" around more "inferior" men while feeling like a beta with more "superior" men clearly lacks true confidence in themselves. honestly this whole alpha beta shit is honestly overrated af imo... yes there will always be someone better looking, stronger, bigger, more talented than you. It is what it is, stop comparing yourself to others, and tell yourself that any man in this universe bleeds, shits, and has insecurities like you and develop confidence in YOURSELF.

Chrisanova_NY · 2019-05-31T00:29:38+00:00

Let's assume he's cool, and not purposefully stepping on your back. Then it's "just you".

If he was a top-tier alpha (in a bro sense), his mind would be figuring ways to synergize with you, and get you action too.

Side note: I've seen super alpha guys get steamrolled by "funny fat guys", simply because the funny fat guy makes it impossible for anyone (even the alpha) to concentrate on doing anything except laugh.

Theplayasclub · 2019-05-31T00:36:56+00:00

I cringe at these answers - you noticed that your friend is more “alpha” than you. Great - don’t ‘combat’ it, you ACCEPT it.

He’s better looking and has better game - so he gets the better girl.

When in a 2 set - both girls are genuinely going to want the better looking friend with good game. Between those two girls - one is going to be more dominant than the other (girls can be ruthless when competing with one another) and one will “lose”just like you did.

It’s the law of the land. First the lion gets the kill and grabs first dibs - then hyenas come an claim second - then vultures - etc.. etc...

I’m sure you’re a lion is some cases and a hyena in others, but, when you’re hanging with your friend - accept he gets first dibs.

Let the unaware hyena try an take out the lion and become a vulture in the process.

Alphas aren’t alphas ALL the time, everyone loses.

Be wise and remember there’s strength in self awareness.

DriedUpPlum · 2019-05-30T22:09:07+00:00

Get him out of the set early by helping him run off with another girl asap. :P.

Or just open up to him about it. Wingmen should play off each other not against each other.

itsmyredditlol · 2019-05-30T21:19:56+00:00

wow......I literally had this the other day and got super drunk and left early because I felt so inferior, which is a rare feeling for me since I’m always the cocky best looking and center of attention. It was a 2on2 guys vs girls and seemed like he was boutta have a 3some so I dipped.....wish I knew how to combat his alpha

Kenic_In_MD · 2019-05-30T21:58:10+00:00

You dont lose your skills, you are just nervous/afraid of being shown up. Keep your frame and keep doing what you're doing.

Studentenergy2019 · 2019-05-30T23:41:20+00:00

If you appear needy and become much less valuable target. you need to analyze what he does that you don't do and what you do with less alpha male that makes you shine. if you don't appear to care with your non-verbal cues , and appear more royal in your posture, you could retain what you have lost . probably you are confident, you just get nervous when you appear to notice signs of approval that girls give to your friend. cultivate your skills more when you have free time. When you meet them next time , say in yourself that they will like me and find me attractice , nothing verbal , just try to feel it in your body and see what happens .

2019-05-31T01:05:40+00:00

How close are you with him? Maybe he can be your wing man, and prop you up.

2019-05-31T02:04:23+00:00

You cant loose skill. That’s like forgetting how to breathe

recyclablebanthas · 2019-05-31T04:51:31+00:00

The problem arises with 1 of my friend especially who is hot and confident (no homo). When I’m with them and a group of girls, I become needy, not baller, and I become a much less valuable target.

It's in your head, obviously. You've identified this as well.

The battle is in your mind, against that negative self-talk you have going on right now when your friend walks up. You have to take the fight to yourself, we can't do it.

But one way is to be aware of the thoughts running through your head that are connected to this friend of yours. You need to start debating them and fact-checking irrational thoughts that come up.

Like this idea that you're "less valuable" just because he walks up. It doesn't even make fucking sense if you think about it. If you literally NEVER have a problem by yourself, than you're doing well based on your own merits.

This other guy walking up, doesn't change a damn thing about you by walking up. YOU change yourself at that point, by taking your head out of the game and focusing on him and all that.

You have to start arguing with yourself instead of just letting yourself fade out like this every time. You are not your friend. And so it's like you're in different "markets," really. Girls that go for him, won't go for you. And girls that go for you, won't go for him..... unless you keep fucking yourself over and turning them off by assuming they won't be interested just because some dude walked up.

ApprenticeOfTheGame · 2019-05-31T11:02:36+00:00

Used to have that issue with my tall, Mediterranean friend. I’m just shy of 5’8” but now I am the one choosing among the girls we talk to instead of getting the crumbs off his table.

What you have to do is learn how to have the high value mentality despite what you perceive as your glaringly obvious weakness being put on display for all to see. In my case, it was my height, or lack there of. What you have to realize is 1) women know nothing of you (assuming your doing daygame or nightgame) and thus 2) women only know how much value you have by what you convey.

Learn to let go of the insecurity. One great way to think of it is that going out with this alpha reflects well on you. It says 1) this clearly high value guy thinks I’m worth spending time with and 2) I don’t care I’m going out with high level competition because I know I’m still worth it despite it all

2019-05-30T22:41:52+00:00

This is a valuable opportunity for any man.

I experienced this myself growing up with an alpha friend.

The opportunity can teach you to become more dominant or influential than ever.

Solutions:

Avoid alpha friend as much as possible and get laid (sigma)
Be more dominant than your alpha friend and get laid (alpha)
Be more submissive than your alpha friend and feel like a helpless victim. Maybe hope he throws you some pussy your way. (beta)

Choose wisely. There’s no wrong answers but the point is you have choices.

Title	I lose my skills when my more alpha friend is with me
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	26
Date	May 30, 2019 9:17 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/buyok2/i_lose_my_skills_when_my_more_alpha_friend_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-lose-my-skills-when-my-more-alpha-friend-is-with.1470150 https://theredarchive.com/post/1470150

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