Shit test by sister and mother? "You should have done all that 5 years ago..."

karmasutur3 · 2015-03-23T19:22:15+00:00

But when I shared my new-found motivation and goals with my relatives

No point to this. Not their business.

Stop airing your laundry to women, and keep it where it belongs.

With your close male friends. This is a symptom of our feminized society. You've been taught to seek role models and knowledge from women, and you must learn that your tribe isn't the ones who bear children, it's the ones with dicks.

I highly suggest pushing towards more TRP sidebar material, and also, maybe this book:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_John:_A_Book_About_Men

[deleted] · 2015-03-23T19:17:21+00:00

Stop going to women for affirmation.

[deleted] · 2015-03-23T20:18:58+00:00

The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago.

The second best time is right now.

Stories_of_Red · 2015-03-23T18:49:55+00:00

Likely people did try to tell you to get motivated and improve yourself. Think about the good coaches, teachers, parental figures, etc. who pushed you to try a bit harder, stretch a bit further, etc.

Did you listen? Did you even hear them?

So now, when you go back and say back to them what they told you years ago, you expect cookies? Congrats? Nope. You are going to get, "Yeah, no kidding, VIP_Toilet, we told you that 20 years ago, when you were 14."

[deleted] · 2015-03-23T18:29:37+00:00

But when I shared my new-found motivation and goals with my relatives what they had to say was "Now you remembered it? NOW? Aren't you a little late to the party?"

Never share your goals or ambitions with anyone.

http://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself?language=en

fnordsnord · 2015-03-23T18:17:33+00:00

People cast us in roles in their lives that we neither ask for, nor want. When you start to change, you no longer fit those roles and it makes them uncomfortable, even when the change is better for YOU. Expect resistance. Ignore them and continue to do what is best for YOU.

needathrowawayplease · 2015-03-23T20:18:52+00:00

Don't overthink this shit.

They are just excited you are taking steps to improve yourself, but they think you should have done so long ago. Can you really disagree with them?

It's sad they aren't more supportive, but I'm sure they weren't thinking much with their comments. Just saying whatever came to mind.

zyk0s · 2015-03-23T20:19:56+00:00

It's not a shit test, rather it's women in your life criticizing you for not "getting it" earlier. It's crucial you understand that women really do want you to "get it" (and that includes female relatives), but since "getting it" involves being confident and understanding this at a subconscious level (that's what "being alpha" is), they cannot tell you about it.

But yeah, stop caring about what your mother and sister think of you, do your own thing and get laid. That's all the feedback you'll need.

Martelll · 2015-03-23T20:25:16+00:00

Listen, just do what you want and keep it to yourself. Don't worry about what they say, focus on your life and goals because no one will do it for you. I have family and friends just like that, they ask me what I'm doing and when I reply I get to hear their opinion on my life. Keep your mouth shut and just play dumb. If someone asks you what you are doing just answer , I have a few things lined up and be very vague.

machimus · 2015-03-23T21:47:52+00:00

I'm pretty sure Colonel Sanders didn't start KFC until he was in his sixties. I see what they're saying, but, always better late than never.

slater2j · 2015-03-23T22:13:39+00:00

You're expecting support from women. That's not really something they give.

AZTRP · 2015-03-23T22:45:09+00:00

Here's the deal:

I have a feeling you're leaving some bits out and decided to cherry pick something. Your family is allowed to say shit like that to you. If you had a proper male social support structure they would tell you the same shit as well.

Judging by your reaction to a different comment I'm willing to wager you haven't built that group yet nor have you read enough.

Point is, you don't need to defend yourself. It's your fucking life. You don't need anyone's approval to improve. Don't be the guy that starts a project and drops it less than 1/4 of the way in because it's too much work. This project is worth it, it's you, it's your life.

Go be you.

Manuel_S · 2015-03-23T23:09:18+00:00

OP, I got to 40, decided "fuck this" and dropped 20% bodyweight. Next year started exercising again, this time while being smart and eating well.

Better now than any time before in my life.

34? In 2 years you can be someone people won't recognize on the street, but they'll damn well look at.

Note: mother and sisters - don't explain, don't complain.

Thu Jan 1 0:00:00 1970 UTC

[permanently deleted]

egoisenemy · 2015-03-23T23:29:20+00:00

Women in general will never know what it takes to be a proper man so don't bother ever asking them or they'll steer you in the wrong direction e.g. just communicate better! women love sensitive types, just be yourself, shower women with gifts and your emotions and you'll be sure to land a good one.

masterrod · 2015-03-23T23:47:19+00:00

Depends on where the relative is coming from. When a relative shit test you, it's usually to for your growth. Very different from when a lady shit tests.

Title	Shit test by sister and mother? "You should have done all that 5 years ago..."
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	19
Comments	24
Date	March 23, 2015 5:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3015mv/shit_test_by_sister_and_mother_you_should_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/shit-test-by-sister-and-mother-you-should-have.147266 https://theredarchive.com/post/147266

Comments