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Hisokuh
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[–]AFL-NOEL 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Every situation is different, so because of this every time I am attracted to a girl I approach, I’d much rather know one way or another what can go down with this girl.. and on the bf note if I’m feeling the vibe with a girl and we both know something could go down if the timing was different, I’ll just say with a smile “all good, let’s connect on IG and maybe we’ll cross paths in the future.” That at least leaves it open to whatever possibilities may happen later.. most importantly brother you’re in an awesome place now that your approach anxiety is gone, it’s all fun for you from here.. here’s some new day game in Miami Beach for added inspiration, the first girl in the video had a bf but it wasn’t the smiley vibe you described with the cashier so I didn’t connect on social, but she was way too 🔥not to shoot my shot lol. Sending positive vibes bro! https://youtu.be/CYXVmWG3cmg
[–]Hisokuh 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Man, I wanted to say that IG line but Walmart was getting crowded and customers were coming and I’m not on the level of shooting my shot in front of random people yet lmao. But if she was more solo I for sure would’ve said that. Thanks for the advice and i will most def watch that vid when i get home!
[–]AFL-NOEL 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s always more challenging when a girl is working in a crowded store for sure.. in that scenario instead of handing my phone to the girl to put in her IG, I’ll just open it up and say “I know you’re busy here at work, what’s your IG I’ll add you and maybe we’ll connect sometime in the future.. then just look at her and then down at your phone with your fingers ready to type.. she’ll give it to you if the vibe is there.. plus there’s something more comfortable about girls giving their social while they’re working vs back when we only used to get numbers (my 1st preference is always IG now) you’ll get more comfortable with all this as you get more and more experience, you’re in a great place brother 👌
[–]caesarfecit 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
The difficulty with classic IOIs is that they work like a dimmer switch. You can tell when it's all the way on or all the way off, but a woman's interest level spends most of its time in between those extremes. Then there's the fact that every woman's dimmer switch is calibrated differently and the amount of interest they show will vary depending on context and her state of mind. You also don't know if she's exaggerating or acting for whatever reason.
Now you see the problem.
So what I do is look to a woman's decisions and actions to gauge her interest level. When you do it that way, you see that there are only three IOIs that really matter: initiation, reciprocation, and compliance.
Compliance is when she just passively goes along with whatever you're doing/saying. This is the most common and the least strong signal of interest.
Reciprocation is when she actively plays along. You flirt with her and she flirts back, you touch her and she touches you back. You get it.
And invitation should be self-explanatory, that's when she chases you and games you.
What likely happened with that Walmart girl is that she was checking you out, but you never said anything until one day you asked for her number out of the blue. In the biz, we call that leading with your chin. Next time strike up a conversation before approach anxiety sets in, chat with her for 30 seconds to a minute, then ask for her number. You need to give most girls a chance to know you and see that you're not crazy and not awkward before they'll invest like that, even if they think you're cute.
[–]Hisokuh 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You know that makes total sense. I just direct approached her because she was working and I didn’t want to hold her up. And although my approach anxiety is gone, I’m not on that level of approaching in front of random people (in this instance, customers) lol.Thanks for the advice next time I’ll try that.
[–]alonzoftw 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
AA never goes away. That just means your gaming 7’s maybe 8’s.
[–]Hisokuh 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well let me rephrase by saying, my motivation to get better outweighs approach anxiety to where I just overcome it and talk to the girls with no problem.
[–]Kylemoa1 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Don't overcomplicate it. Yes, they work. You will need some practice to become better at reading them but also I would say learn IODs as well. Balance things out,
[–]Hisokuh 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you, what does IOD stand for?
[–]EarthWarping 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nk
[–]smoothmax 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girls with bfs like to throw out blatant IOIs. It's a cheap thrill and if the guy goes all gaga and needy she feels like she's The Queen of Sexual Desire.
Any time you get blatant IOIs to the point that they're overly obvious, repeated too much or inappropriate to the setting, it's probably a cock tease by a girl with a steady bf or husband.
But you can call it out if you want to test her. Look around and tell her wow, you're being super flirtatious is your boyfriend around or something?
[–]dante_srs 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They definitely work. The boyfriend card is tricky to dodge. You could question a girl “oh does your boyfriend not let you have friends?” But obviously there is no absolute thing you could say, it always depends.
IOIs are mostly accurate, we are creatures of instincts though we could plan certain things out but they are always imbedded in biology
[–]alonzoftw 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I would like to point out that every woman working in customer service is smiling at everyone. You have to be very keen with someone that is actually interested in you.
At my target in the self checkout lane, only girl working was observing everyone and didn’t move until I went up. She asked me how I was and if I needed help. I had a gallon of milk. My children were with me and she said ‘Both of your kids are cute.’ She maintained eye contact, cheese smile, and was releasing some tension by rubbing her arms.
Another example: I’m a regular at my local Starbucks and they have an abundance of beautiful women that work there. No idea why because it’s a small town. So I almost always get the ‘hun,’ or ‘dear’ tag when I get my coffee. That’s normal. One of the girls at the drive thru was chatting with me longer than usual and asked what I was up to. Stated that she would be there (mall) later in the day. There is a full line behind me and she couldn’t be bothered by it. As soon as she said ‘I’ll see you later babe,’ that’s when I knew I fucked up by not escalating or even cold ass asking for her number. It was all comfort-trust because I wasn’t thinking anything of it.
One of the biggest IOI’s I find is when a woman puts the fucking world on hold for you. Stay aware guys.
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Thanks. Makes sense with something I saw a PUA coach talk about ... the most important IOI isn't the hair flip or the legs uncrossing, it's if she's still there talking to you.
Looking back, I remember a couple times at a campfire with a crowd of people, for some reason I stayed longer after the others went back into the house or whatever, and a girl who had showed no previous interest was still standing there alone with me. Leading to hanky-panky in one case and dates in the other. I'm not sure what made me decide to stay there alone, possibly a sixth sense indicated the girl was going to hang out if I did.
[–]alonzoftw 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You probably gave off a relaxed, carefree, and chill vibe. Whatever it was she was comfortable staying with you.
Keep up the approaches and I would say if you want the quick numbers you should do like 30 secs of interaction before you ask. Give her a big compliment ‘I just had to say that you-look-very nice,’ tease, ground yourself with a quick intro, state that you have to run and she has to work, then say ‘Let’s exchange [contact info] and I’ll message you when I’m free.’ Cold number collecting never worked for me.
Thanks so much for the advice, definitely going to use it.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
____1____
So my question is shoulda we really look at IOIs to make an approach?
No.
Also, where are you reading that one should wait for some sort of sign that the girl is "interested" before you can open a conversation?
No one should be saying this.
____2____
Do they really work? Seems like every girl is really different lol
If we're talking about how to know when to approach, then the answer is going to be contrived.
We could talk about how opening based on observations often has more impact and can more easily lead to a natural conversation that leads to a good connection.
But there are a lot of things you could be observing all the time when you're out in public, many of which could be used as fodder for a good opener.
So in the end, how and when you open is largely up to you, based on how the situation strikes you.
____3____
I just happened to look up and a girl that works there I’ve seen multiple times was staring dead at me smiling. I take that as an opportunity to ask for her number when i leave. I asked and she giggles and smiles but says “I have a bf”
A few things probably went wrong here:
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[–]AFL-NOEL 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hisokuh 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AFL-NOEL 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]caesarfecit 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hisokuh 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]alonzoftw 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Hisokuh 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kylemoa1 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Hisokuh 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]EarthWarping 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]smoothmax 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dante_srs 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alonzoftw 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]smoothmax 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]alonzoftw 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Hisokuh 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link