I swallowed the pill only a few weeks ago and I have still a LOT to do. After all I wasted like 8-10 years as a pathetic beta. 28 now.

I guess I am still in the anger phase.

Last week I was running and lifting every day. Saturday comes along and so does the party. The first time in ages I am actually stoked to go. And even better, I had fun at the party. For a long time I went to partys without really enjoying it or getting anything out of it.

Setting: Old house, a bit fucked up, dimmed light, loud music. We are as group of good friends but we all life in different towns so we see each other only like once every two monts.

The biggest thing I started changeing since TRP is the way I talk to people, mostly women. A few weeks back I always asked and said things like:

"Would it be okey for you if I..." or

"Do you mind..." or

"What do you think, should we go to...".

Now I assert myself and say stuff like: "Move guys! we are going!"

Especially with girls, just talking in an asserted manner and not reacting to their "girl brabbling" has a huge impact. Let them "brabble", hold your frame and lead them (the group) to the activities and locations you wanna go to.

I always had a strong, solid voice but I am astonished how much impact this change had. Two girls from my social circle independantly told me at the party that they dont eveny know me like this (in a good way). Giving me IOI's like sitting on my legs when there's not enough space on the couch.

These are beautiful women, most have boyfriends and have friendzoned me a long time ago. (I'am probably trying to get out of the friendzone with almost everyone of them after a few months, just to see if it is possible by self improvement)

Thats another amazing thing I am realizing. It doesn't matter at all what I do. I can just do whatever I want. Who the fuck cares what I do ? Noone. If some rejects me, like a random girl in my circle, what do I care, I dont get anything out of the relationship rightnow and I wont get anything after she rejected me. Nothing changes.

Back at the party I was getting drunk because of drinking games and having a bit too good of a time (dont get too drunk, more fun with only a little).

I was talking to a lot of different people, one girl gave me her number and really wanted to meet me sometime. My game is not good guys. I did not enough kino and have not escalated, and sometimes I didnt even knew what to say. Then I got up and talked to someone else or talked to male friends. (that's an easy save, if your at a loss, get up leave, talk to someone you know for a bit)

Anyway, she wrote her number on a piece of paper and gave it to me without me really asking for it.

A little later, I found out she is engaged and the dude is even at the party. That's where I fucked up and got angry. There's still quite a bit of beta left in me and the alcohold did his part too, and i was upset that women are like this. I was frustrated and felt like she wasted my time. I immediately lost all respect for her. Why would she even talk/flirt with me and give me her number if she is engaged.

I told/asked her exactly this, in an angry voice. Only like 2 people heared what was going on because of the music. One random guy lol'ed out loud when he heard it. And a female friend, she was like: "omg did you really just say that ?".

Reaction from her was something like: "Ohh my god, just because im engaged I cant have fun at a party?!?! I just wanna get to know people that doesnt meen anything or that I am sexually interested, asshole". (not this words but exactly this message). A few weeks back I would probably have believed her and apologized. sadsmile

Now in hindsight this was obviously stupid. Beside that I shouldnt have lost my temper, its really only a moral issue. One could theoretically still plate her. The situation is still annoying though. What would you do ? Are women who have boyfriends off limits ?, is there a moral consens in TRP what is ok and what not ? Theoretically its not really my fault that she is looking for options... right ?

TLDR: Good party, I have fun. Engaged women gives me her number, I fuck up by getting angry and calling her out.

EDIT: formatting