Should you ever ask a girl why she rejected you?

RunawayGrain · 2015-04-27T00:12:43+00:00

You wouldn't get an honest answer, so why worry?

BPtoRP · 2015-04-27T00:42:44+00:00

SHE DOES NOT KNOW. /thread

rebuildingMyself · 2015-04-27T03:53:45+00:00

Do you ask the fish why they aren't taking your bait?

SW9876 · 2015-04-27T00:57:18+00:00

Potentially useful for scientific inquiry only. As stating you problem won't get an honest answer, that doesn't mean the answers won't be interesting though.

Bradovoxo · 2015-04-27T01:59:03+00:00

If a guy steals the ball from you when playing basketball you don't ask how he did it. Mainly because if you asked he probably would give a half-hearted "idk right place I guess." The real answer is he has seen sloppy play from others like you, so he knew when you were going to make your move. You did it, he saw it, he shut that shit down.

Now its up to you whether you practice your move until you have it down tight, or try a new move. The choice is yours.

94redstealth · 2015-04-27T11:10:40+00:00

no, you asking is seeking validation. remember, women are crazy. her reason most likely won't make sense.

intelcorei5 · 2015-04-27T01:56:54+00:00

You have TRP. You can explain why she had/didn't have feelings better than she can.

You have more to gain on the slim chance of seeing each other again and not having asked, than having asked.

StarDestinyGuy · 2015-04-27T02:34:18+00:00

I've had the same exact thoughts as you OP, and I've asked girls this question before. The answer I got most recently was, "I wasn't feeling anything" which is too vague to be helpful.

However, given this:

I really am never gonna see her again, unless I bump into her, which I would just ignore her. I doubt she'll tell me the real reason, but is it worth a shot? Yes, I know its desperate, but I'm not trying to get with her anymore, its just for advice.

Go for it. Why not right? You have nothing to lose and might actually learn something useful/interesting.

[deleted] · 2015-04-27T02:53:40+00:00

Most pathetic thing I've ever seen:

Guy gets rejected by a girl. He decides he'll ask her why. She says she just isn't interested.

"Is it because I'm short?"

[deleted] · 2015-04-27T03:27:08+00:00

Go for it, but i doubt she will give you the truth

Sadiebb · 2015-04-27T04:17:29+00:00

I know a guy that did and got an honest answer - 'You're not ambitious and don't make enough money'.

plasticslug · 2015-04-27T05:23:43+00:00

Never trust any females advice it will only just poison your mind, unless she is a complete stranger and it involves basic visual questions.

Example, after our breakup my ex was trying so fucking hard to get me to talk to this particular girl, telling me how perfect she would be for me. For the hell of it I showed her a random contact I had in my phone (a person she didn't know) the pic for the most part was a gorgeous Asian.

I told her we were hooking up, and like night and day she immediacy said it was a better choice and in fact her, choice was actually quite ugly. She was trying purposely to get me with a girl under her visually.

TheRealMewt · 2015-04-27T06:32:07+00:00

And what are you going to do if by some unusual twist of fate you manage to get a good answer from this girl who rejected you? Shape yourself to fit her desires and come back in a couple months to give it another try? That reeks of desperation and oneitis. Don't do that.

Even if you choose not to read between the lines when it comes to what women say and what they actually mean, different aspects of a man are attractive to different women. Whatever you improve for this girl who you will never have a chance with ever again could be a detriment to the next girl you try to date.

BadCopWithDonut · 2015-04-27T07:02:31+00:00

Imo ask her for honest feedback. Maybe there was actually something you did which made her change her mind.

You have nothing to lose, just something that to learn.

RichieFinn · 2015-04-27T09:15:33+00:00

You should know yourself. You shouldnt need to ask.

fnordsnord · 2015-04-27T13:35:50+00:00

No. It's a waste of your time and hers.

If she had a good reason, it won't reflect well on you, and she won't want to hurt your feelings. If she DIDN'T have a good reason, it won't reflect well on HER, and she'll want to discuss it even less.

Don't ask a fish for advice on how to catch fish. They don't even know why they're caught. Ask a fisherman, instead.

wont_tell_i_refuse · 2015-04-27T19:45:45+00:00

There is never really a reason. They're just not feeling it.

[deleted] · 2015-04-27T23:39:20+00:00

Ok, lets "Mythbusters" this shit man....Let's go for a Plausible answer. Let's hypothetically assume you have dated 1000 women so far, and lets say they all rejected you after the first date...

Still with me? Ok. Then, lets say we would ask all 1000 their genuine reason, and all 1000 of them gave genuine responses.

What are you going to do with that information? Adapt to the reasons why? Well, you have 1000 different criticisms...

some will say hair too long, too short. some will say too nice and some will say too aggressive, or not aggressive enough. some flat out didn't like you...

anyway, you will have 1000 contradicting pieces of advice about you that even if you had this information would get you nowhere because you have to simultaneously have 5 different hair cuts at one time, styles at one time, you'' have to be more funny and less funny at the same time.... Do you get it? You would have overlapping criticisms that are IMPOSSIBLE.

What is the point of this? Who cares why? Why doe it matter? There's nothing you can to change it because even if you knew it and you could the next chick will probably wind up hating that part you JUST changed.....

prodigy2throw · 2015-04-28T17:46:39+00:00

You should already know why if you've read TRP enough. If you don't, write a FR and we can tell you.

I already can tell you she"s gonna say she just wasn't feeling a "connection" or some bullshit. All it will do is reaffirm AWALT to you. She thought she could do better and you didn't turn her on. That's the cold hard truth.

Also, never make plans for the second date during the first one. Also, it shouldn't be a date, just hanging out.

Big_ol_Bro · 2015-04-27T01:45:16+00:00

Op do it for science

Title	Should you ever ask a girl why she rejected you?
Author	NeedTRPadvice345
Upvotes	8
Comments	26
Date	April 27, 2015 12:03 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/33z2np/should_you_ever_ask_a_girl_why_she_rejected_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/should-you-ever-ask-a-girl-why-she-rejected-you.148358 https://theredarchive.com/post/148358

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