What's the difference between a date and a hangout?

Kopynator · 2019-12-10T12:38:24+00:00

You set the tone and have to escalate.

When you're meeting up and going for a walk (or do anything, really) and don't make a move nothing will happen.

If you really had so many first dates and didn't even make out you're clearly not escalating.

You aren't the only one who is bored. She is, too.

Arkellian_Pilot · 2019-12-10T12:40:59+00:00

How much are you initiating physical contact? Also, it sounds like it has more to do with the kinds of dates you're planning.

Generally, later in the day is better. Cafes and lunch time are super casual or businessy. It's not that it can't be done, but if you're not good at other aspects of dates and dating, it can tilt things towards platonic real fast. If you do wanna go on dates during the day, make the dates more event-like: go hiking somewhere nice, check out a museum together, anything like that instead.

As for physical touch--if you're anything like me, you've lived your whole life not expressing yourself physically. This is something I've been practicing with both men AND women recently in small steps, and it has been helping my friendships and relationships out quite a bit. You gotta start developing physical intimacy with her at some point. Right now I'm just working on getting better with going in for hugs when greeting, punctuating jokes and teasing with taps on the arm and shoulder, high fives, things like that. I do this with all women I know, old, young, married, single, engaged, etc. It really makes a difference, both in how you feel and how they feel. I generally feel more connected and freer with people now that I'm more comfortable bonding with them in a physical way--in fact, it's almost natural as you start doing this to want to escalate without thinking about it, and in some situations I find myself having to hold back (a buddy's fiancee, for example, whom I could feel beginning to open up to me during a study session).

Meanwhile, girls light up a little bit more too when you behave freely like this around them. It's almost like the tension is allowed to bleed out of the room and everyone has permission to have fun and enjoy themselves, because you're communicating clearly that you're not a freak incapable of embodying your joy and affection in a concrete way. And that's just been with relatively innocent gestures so far. I can't imagine how much more intense the effect will be when I actually do start to escalate. Hopefully that starts moving you in the right direction.

axe122 · 2019-12-10T15:14:32+00:00

There really is no difference, I just don’t use the word date cuz to some girls it sounds to serious and if they or on the fence about them you won’t see em most of the time. Technically a hangout would be if they come over your place hangout and have sex you don’t take them anywhere, if you got out call it hanging out or getting together is still a date but without the negative stigma that word sometimes has around it (like this is a serious thing) girls just wanna have fun so go out have fun with them and don’t worry about anything relationship wise until they start bringing it up. I have a detailed description of how to get laid 1st,2nd or 3rd date from how to present yourself to how to get her home and escalate. Good luck

Kenic_In_MD · 2019-12-10T17:33:59+00:00

You didn't build any attraction at all.

How was your eye contact? Did you guys touch at all? Anything?

Did you flirt with her, tease her anything else?

If you simply met up for a nice tea then bailed then that's all it was. A nice tea and bail.

SandyDives20 · 2019-12-10T23:05:13+00:00

First of all, you have to understand the reality of dating women.

After she met you, she probably messaged some fuckboy she has on her snapchat with a slutty pic of herself saying "what you doing later?".

After learning game, I understood that if a girl wants to meet up with you, she is most probably going to have sex with you. I have met 15 girls in the last year, and I had sex with all of them the same night except 2, it was just a regular "date" where we either just went for a drive and I pulled to my place, or she came directly to my place.

So based on my own statistics 87% of girls are open to sex on the first date if you do it right. Game them right.

I'm not saying I did it right.

But yeah, this is the reality.

I know it's hard to believe, but you can too buddy.

I would recommend reading "The Game" by Neil Strauss, then the Mystery Method and meanwhile doing that, while eating everyday or on your sparetime not reading, watch ToddVDating on youtube.

You have to learn game. How to calibrate to the girl and escalate all the way up to sex.

If you need help just message me and I'll respond when I have time.

I was a virgin 1.5 years ago, and lost it after a few weeks of watching RSD guys on youtube. Sadly, all the good ones are gone, that's why I'm recommending ToddV for now.

I think RSD Jeffy still has some videos though, so go watch him.

Also, watch a lot of infield videos.

And then most important execute and practice. Do nightgame, daygame and social media game, message girls on tinder, but also facebook and instagram. I have some pulls from instagram :D

For reference, rating myself would be a solid 6 or 7 in looks compared to some guys, so no, I don't even look good. Of course you should be well groomed, get some workouts in and be the best version of yourself.

Good luck :)

NewtypeJ · 2019-12-11T10:09:44+00:00

First of all, you have to ask a girl for a date. Don’t say, “Let’s hang out”, after not setting the tone that you’re interested. That’s not being honest. It sounds weird to say be interested but be aloof but I think a better way of explaining it is, just be honest. When I meet a girl, from our initial conversation I let her know that I am a hetero male with working genitalia. Asking her out, I generally get her number and then I’ll text her, “I want to take you out sometime” just phrasing it differently honestly increased my success rate tenfold. I used to say “hang out” and I would either get ghosted or we would go out and it wouldn’t go well.

While you’re on the date, you’ll have to escalate. Don’t wait until he end of the date to kiss the girl. Seriously, it will feel forced and you’ll be more nervous because you’ll be rushed for time. Focus on having fun. If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong. Escalating is easy as long as you stay calm and don’t overreact to the escalation. A common trick I use to escalate as well as see if the girl likes me is to say there’s something in her hair. I then tell her to hold still and I reach to grab it and throw it off behind her. There’s obviously nothing in her hair, but if she lets you touch her hair, she’s probably into you and escalating after that is easy.

Kissing tips: pull away first, cup her face with your hands. I actually make it a habit to get the tips of my fingers kind of in the area below and behind her ears. Anatomy experts pull through for me. It’s a really sensitive spot and if you feel for it you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you’re trying to make out, make sure you’re in a private spot. Follow the first tip pull away and then go back in for it. Good luck and happy hunting.

Hubblenobbin · 2019-12-10T16:13:33+00:00

When I hear date I think boyfriend mode. If the girl doesn't know I want to fuck her before I invite her out I've made a serious error. I don't use either word. Try to pull on the date after 30 minutes.

Title	What's the difference between a date and a hangout?
Author	Bamblag
Upvotes	14
Comments	38
Date	December 10, 2019 12:06 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e8psd3/whats_the_difference_between_a_date_and_a_hangout/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-the-difference-between-a-date-and-a-hangout.1485792 https://theredarchive.com/post/1485792

Comments