I'm good at first dates but I'm bad at the next steps and end up in the friend zone.

2020-01-10T03:14:23+00:00

Dont be so eager for the second date, play it cool, let them know you have other options (even if you are sitting home alone).

And when you have the second date, be as aloof and uncaring as the first time.

Women are really good at ghosting for a couple of days, it makes us work hard for our supper. Men need to do more of the same.

NewbieCasanova · 2020-01-10T04:54:40+00:00

Second dates occurs only after a great first date. It's clear that you are having trouble keeping the date man to women. Since we have no feedback about what went on with your dates. I can safely concur that the issue is kino and charisma. It's a simple fix in terms of just steering the conversation to be more sexual or potential to lead to emotional conversations rather than platonic.

Hence "you'd be better off as a friend". You showed the women that you don't have a dick. Try learning KINO and easing into topics that helps the women get a little more sexual. For example, grab her hand and lead! Over time, build it up, hands, shoulders, back, face, etc. There are in-depth guides on using KINO, i suggest you google some and try from there.

Topics to be more man to women includes "kinks, sex positions, past experiences, thrills, etc". This DOES NOT mean to drop all the rapport building topics. Game is making everything you do seem like it just happened. Nothing more than incorporating these technique into whatever you're doing to spice it up.

whirleymon · 2020-01-10T03:16:37+00:00

Where do you go for first dates? Second dates? If there are drinks, and you are sitting next to each other touching is easy (just tap their forearm before you start a convo thread, and go from there), across from each other say at a coffee shop gets you friend zoned or worse though in my experience.

megatron_deathfart · 2020-01-10T08:02:42+00:00

I used to psych myself out by thinking about when to try to kiss dates. Now I've started focusing on being in the moment and acting on my feelings instead.

I think A, focus on connecting with eye contact and just enjoying being attracted to each other. B, if there's no deep stare that leads to a kiss moment during the date, then going in for a cheek kiss when you go to say goodbye at the end of the date. Definitely feel out as you approach if she's receptive and wanting more, or leaning back. Abort immediately if so, haha

Shadow__Account · 2020-01-10T08:34:59+00:00

Well you probably feel comfortable during your first dates since they are successful, so start working on that kino during them , get a little out your comfort zone. Touch a little more, grab their hand to comment on something like jewelry, grab their earring. Or say something like i hate using hand cream but i want softer hands like you (just random nonsense to touch) put your hand on her leg for a second when you make a joke, poke her in her side when she makes a joke. Get acquinted with this, you will have to and it will become more natural fast.. leave your hand on her leg a little longer. Squeeze her leg, caress her hand a little etc. And how about eye contact? is that on point?

The other part, the communication what is exactly your problem? You seem to get second dates, so is it an issue to get them? or are we just talking about not escalating and closing on the second date ?

Kimdabrim · 2020-01-10T08:42:22+00:00

The way dates go in the western world are absolute shit. You fork out for a dinner date where you talk each other to sleep. In the Philippines I take a girl to Karaoke where they serve food in a private room. Showing that you can sing gets her panties 100x wetter than having a "good conversation" across a dining table. I have no idea how to use this script in the western world and maybe it's a cultural difference but the most common way is to take her out for a drink where you can apply kino easier.

Hooosreddit · 2020-01-10T14:09:33+00:00

The problem is not the second date.

I can't put my finger on the problem yet as to too little information. However I have some suggestions as to what maybe causes your problems

1) not clear enough (communicated) intentions 2) no Physical "escalation" 3) no "pushing them" away or in any direction 4) lack of masculine energy 5) acting without purpose

...5) low social value or 6( something else

Obviously you are a nice guy who is fun to talk to. And that's a plus. But it's also a problem

Concerning the touching problem: touch is nothing to be ashamed of. Touching feels good to you and to other people. It's a natural thing

grrinchas · 2020-01-10T15:28:11+00:00

No man. If you don't get second date, then your first date was bad.

Insaneflirt_max · 2020-01-10T14:12:42+00:00

If you were that great at first dates you'd get laid on first dates.

You're probably entertaining and lacking sexual tension, which is what a friend does.

Title	I'm good at first dates but I'm bad at the next steps and end up in the friend zone.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	12
Date	January 10, 2020 2:56 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/emkr04/im_good_at_first_dates_but_im_bad_at_the_next/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-good-at-first-dates-but-im-bad-at-the-next.1488156 https://theredarchive.com/post/1488156

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