Going out alone is a rollercoaster

ustolemycookies · 2020-01-11T11:06:04+00:00

That is awesome. Tell us more about your story, are you going out to bars and try to engage in conversations with strangers or going to the book club and have a nice chat about your fave or something? Fellow shy guy here so, would like to learn this power. Anyhoo, congrats my dude

juanappleseed · 2020-01-11T13:24:03+00:00

My solution is to go out alone and wait until I get comfortable with being alone and not taking to people. And only when I become not afraid by deeply relaxing do I show myself to begin to talk to girls. This takes away the forced overwhelm that makes you hate going out alone. Hating going out comes from too much pressure to perform. Drop that pressure and then you will figure yourself to worry going out and won't depend on girls liking you to host your mood, therefore seeing yourself up for giant miserable self attacking state crashes

ken_34 · 2020-01-11T17:33:39+00:00

As someone who’s gone out alone quite a bit, I can agree about the highs and lows you mention. One thing I’ve found is that when you go out alone, it is much tougher to actually get past a phone number with a girl because you are hopeless at separating a girl from her friend (2 set) and there are barely any girls by themselves. Phone number isn’t too difficult, but those more often lead to nowhere. I have found that the best way to get past this, is to have good enough game that you feel very comfortable coaching other guys who do not. The benefit of this is that you can easily befriend groups of guys in the bar by saying you are trying to meet girls and need a wingman, and also that you know your stuff so people have a good reason to want to listen to you and hang out. Now you have a crew to fall back to if you are not talking to a girl at the moment (this helps you stay out of your head and maintain higher social value in the bar), but they are not close enough friends that you feel an obligation to miss an opportunity talking to a girl because they are mid sentence. You can just say “one sec, I’m gonna go talk to this girl.” If you show you have low approach anxiety, most dudes will respect the hell out of you because they can’t do it themselves.

Spirit_mert · 2020-01-11T13:15:50+00:00

It is awesome to be able to go on your own, good job man. As others said, it would be nice if you share a plan for solo night events. Which kind of places do you go? How do you initiate a conversation with strangers?

2020-01-11T18:12:24+00:00

It's like anything really. Your reptilian hind brain tries to keep you comfortable and safe. It wants you to conform and fit the routine, the mould of your life. Great men realize this and follow their own desires. If your hind brain runs your life, you dream by night and all is vain. If you acknowledge the hind brain but go forward anyway, you dream by the day and become dangerous to the order of the world, for it moulds to you.

NorthVilla · 2020-01-11T19:01:16+00:00

That's why I love going to concerts alone.

Rejection? Cannot find any friends or interesting people? Fuck it, jam out to your music. Success every time!

Amsloco · 2020-01-11T15:39:14+00:00

I tend to get away with a lot more when I’m alone. I walk to the front of lines, get a spot on a party bus, always free entry and free drinks. I can tell people whatever story I feel like telling as I don’t have a +1 to contradict or judge me. There is a lot of “who does she think she is” type activity going on sometimes such as whispers or stares. However as long a I stay confident it will only make me the center of attention !!

Con of going out alone it can be dangerous. Luckily I haven’t had any run ins as I handle my alcohol intake well. Which is a MUST if you’re a lone wolf !

Gandalf__White · 2020-01-11T17:40:16+00:00

Next time would be my 5 time going out alone and every time I write my story to you guys. I do it for myself first and foremost but when I’m out and not feeling it I always think about that there are people in here that are counting on me. This helps a lot in order to achieve my night goals. If you go out alone I highly recommend that you tell us about your night, it will help you and others achieving the same thing.

2020-01-11T18:14:49+00:00

I've been going out in the past year and a half more than I ever have in my life and I've come to prefer going out alone. Yet when there is a cool guy or girl to hang out with that is fun too.

lilpeepdiehard · 2020-01-11T13:52:12+00:00

Unbelievable, how true this comparison is. Nice post, thank you.

erikmalkavian · 2020-01-11T17:37:54+00:00

I agree with you OP, there is a NO cushion when you get shot down but exhilaration when you succeed. I like how you reinforced the idea that rejection does make you tougher and sensitive to it as you continue Sarging on and Success breeds Success!

randomcritical · 2020-01-11T18:38:22+00:00

Were proud of you booboo

GiraffePuncher69 · 2020-01-11T19:21:29+00:00

Going out alone takes immense confidence and demands respect — good on you OP

Demonpenz · 2020-01-11T21:57:11+00:00

You are going to have to learn how to make yourself happy in life. How to entertain yourself. Going out alone is good for that. Finding a wing that isn't a total clusterfuck is hard as well. I went out by myself for a long time because no one wanted to grind. Entertaining yourself cheaply is important for me at least because you can't always throw money at problems. Stand up straight eye contact and go all in is what I try to do. If I can do that I am winning.

Demonpenz · 2020-01-11T22:06:21+00:00

Some people here need to get punched in the face a couple times really hard. If you can take a punch and let those nuts hang in situations that is the essence of what girls are turned on by. Survival of the fittest. I draw the line at blowing out or embarrassing obviously dorky nerds or stealing or something like that though. Sometimes you can see guys out strugging to find an energy on a date or something and you dont have to blow them out you can go over and chat it up with them to help them. The key thing is always repeat what people say. People lpve their own words and it helps you to pay attention. Special creep points if you have a voice recorder so you can record your approaches so you can praise yourself for being ballsy and get better

TallNerdFromSchool_ · 2020-01-12T02:45:51+00:00

Geez, the first and only time I went solo to a bar the ex boyfriend of a girl who liked me sat in the table right in front of me with a friend. I didn't get nervous or anything, but it was uncomfortable lol. I will go out solo again obviously

Kyotobasedgod · 2020-01-11T16:26:32+00:00

Damn I’ve been going through it all night but I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way! Thanks for your inspirational words friend! :)

Title	Going out alone is a rollercoaster
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	376
Comments	38
Date	January 11, 2020 8:38 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/en51im/going_out_alone_is_a_rollercoaster/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/going-out-alone-is-a-rollercoaster.1488233 https://theredarchive.com/post/1488233

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