Friendzoned by a guy who spends all his time with me and confused: need help

vibes2high250 · 2020-09-03T18:54:19+00:00

Whilst I do feel bad for you, I feel bad for him too cause it sounds like he’s lost a good friend.

minma_marin · 2020-09-03T19:32:31+00:00

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2020-09-03T21:29:48+00:00

It’s simple - he doesn’t want sex with you. He doesn’t fancy you but wants to be friends.

It’s exactly the same as when a woman does it to a man with the genders reversed.

WillieJaay · 2020-09-03T18:54:46+00:00

IDK this situation really does suck as far as a romantic relationship goes but as far as a friend this guy seems like a cool dude maybe don't hang out as often but he's trying to be a good friend at least.

Metalgear222 · 2020-09-03T21:21:36+00:00

He’s not attracted to you.

DestinyChitChat · 2020-09-03T19:35:07+00:00

Either he's doing some very elaborate scheme to seduce you or perhaps you didn't see the OTHER signs that would've let you know his intentions.

This is in no way meant to offend you. Everyone sees what they want to see. And seeing it from your perspective I can agree with you and say "yea. none of this makes sense. He seems very interested."

Which leads me to believe that maybe you just didn't notice other stuff that would have let you know he wasn't interested in that way. But no worries. It happens to everyone. Don't throw the friendship away. Just get yourself together and try to continue being friends.

panwuan · 2020-09-03T19:57:06+00:00

Maybe you took too long to show interest on him that lost interest himself on you. Did you show interest at the beginning?

2020-09-03T19:53:55+00:00

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intelIigent · 2020-09-03T20:26:43+00:00

you make him feel confident, wanted, sought after. chances are that he is really insecure and is using you to cope with the void of affection in his family or friends. he likes to feel chased and like there is someone out there that he can talk to or have listen to his problems. he may be sexually attracted to you, but nothing more than just friends. he needs that support and anything more than a friendship could result in a discrepancy.

misspechucker · 2020-09-03T20:35:56+00:00

Honestly I can relate to this guy. I will become friends with a girl, ask about her if she’s not around because I get concerned. It’s happened to me before that a girl would misinterpret this as a sign of being interested in them as a gf.

drunkasaurusrex · 2020-09-03T21:00:34+00:00

Maybe he's gay. I've had some female friends who were quick to become my besties in college and it usually kind of led to the situation you describe above.

Deep-Lingonberry4568 · 2020-09-03T21:24:04+00:00

Avoid him for a week then hang out with him.

Designer-Rate-5611 · 2020-09-03T21:43:56+00:00

Hung out with him as friends on a very platonic level for 3 months everyday...that’s part of your problem. Did you try to escalate things? I know it’s usually the guy that’s supposed to initiate but did you at least try and take things sexually?

2020-09-03T21:45:32+00:00

I hate getting into situations like this. It's why I just ask out strangers.

ecphotoman · 2020-09-03T21:56:30+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. I've known this girl from work for 2 years, and we've hung out at group events before. But about 6 months ago we started hanging out together, solo all the time. She's over at my house every day we don't work, some times all night. She's always sending me, memes, quotes, flirty texts, has something to say about everything I post on social. Being the fool that I am, over the last 2 months or so I've started to get romantic feelings for her. I've started to do things I didn't before like make her playlists, send her love songs, etc and she always replies back like she's interested. A couple weeks ago some gut from work found her on social and started DMing her and now they have started hanging out she's cancelled on me to hangout with this guy and now I'm on the back burner. I guess I just learned that she baited me into feeling things were different and I was in the friend zone. I was just keeping her warm for Mr next.

My advice to you is to be honest and if he doesn't reciprocate just distance your self and create space. It's hard to keep being friends with someone you love when they don't love you.

Umbran_scale · 2020-09-03T22:17:05+00:00

Sounds like a case of lost interest, he valued being close friends with you more than actually being with you.

I don't mean this in any offense, but in the 3 months of hanging out and being friends was there ANY sign of intimacy or flirting during it? Hand holding, arm linking? Suggestive comments or tones?

NDex101 · 2020-09-03T22:27:07+00:00

Give it time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Same advice I give on all my students. Read some books. Pick up a new hobby. Change your dressing style. Take a trip. Then hit him up one day. Maybe even with a new boyfriend. Then show him how much he's missed. Be clear early on that your attracted.

AlchemistXV · 2020-09-03T22:52:53+00:00

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virtualitat · 2020-09-03T22:57:30+00:00

You should take same space bro, thats kinda sick. Not the fact you have a deep friendship, but the amount of time you spend together. Its sound toxic, he might have some self steem issues, regarding sexual organs. You ought to make a very sexual first move (like literally in the bed) or run, my friend

RiskyRewarder · 2020-09-03T23:23:26+00:00

Tell him you have a penis and check his response

AlchemistXV · 2020-09-03T23:30:37+00:00

i have a similar situation. you are right in most of your replies in what you need to do. bail and dont look back. its unhealthy and it took me damn near 3 years and this post to realize it. like you said either you or him will find someone else and then the friendship goes down the drain regardless. in my case i tried to still be a good friend to this girl even after she chose someone over me and yes it did haunt me and still kinda does like whats wrong with me that she doesnt love me. my situation differs in that we went from “best friends” to her wanting fwb and it pretty much destroyed the friendship. i dont even want the shit anymore. i shouldve bailed a longggg time ago. you live and you learn though i suppose.

violoncristy · 2020-09-04T00:12:04+00:00

I have a friend and we used to hang out all the time, we got along great. I confessed my feelings to him but he somehow managed to change the topic. I found it odd but made some space between us and tried to move on. Years later he comes out of the closet as gay. It was a very difficult moment in his life. We’re still friends and closer than ever. Not saying that’s the case with you but I wouldn’t rule that out.

Hot-__-Topic · 2020-09-03T19:23:57+00:00

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Hot-__-Topic · 2020-09-03T18:45:41+00:00

I've made a friend once who was in a relationship who acted like this, I don't think it's uncommon, isn't this how friends should be?

I understand how you feel though, I would feel so crushed damn

Edit: also he seems like a cool dude, he didn't take advantage or try to lead you on once you told him. If you were possibly looking for a relationship, you should definitely explain that to him and take some time apart, he should understand you need some space. I think think this is more common with guys, once they get friend zoned or the girl gets into a relationship, they distance themselves because they were trying to get at them.

JustNatalieK · 2020-09-03T20:54:28+00:00

Is he possibly gay?

noodle-attack · 2020-09-03T22:00:47+00:00

Y’all both simps on the low

Title	Friendzoned by a guy who spends all his time with me and confused: need help
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	22
Comments	73
Date	September 3, 2020 6:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ilzcsr/friendzoned_by_a_guy_who_spends_all_his_time_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/friendzoned-by-a-guy-who-spends-all-his-time-with.1501538 https://theredarchive.com/post/1501538

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