What’s stopping a person from becoming super fucking confident ?

gordons_vodka_lillet · 2021-03-08T22:09:54+00:00

The fear of being judged by others and having one's self-image challenged. Make it a habit to leave your comfort zone a little more and more.

ElPincheGrenas · 2021-03-09T01:46:52+00:00

Up that fucking serotonin, start taking some wins in life

Dodechaedron · 2021-03-08T22:00:08+00:00

Real or fake confidence? I never managed the fake, so I can only speak about the confidence that I have (might be little or much, idk).

For real confidence, what you need is: 1) Know yourself (your strengths and weaknesses), 2) Experience (of situations and their outcomes), where you survived, managed, won

The contrary of the above is what stops you ...

The fake confidence is the confidence of (the actor playing) James Bond: you might as well join a drama school and become an actor, because this is the skill needed

Roflmaows · 2021-03-08T21:39:55+00:00

Reality

antonthecad · 2021-03-08T22:19:13+00:00

I think you misunderstood what confidence is. I am irrationally confident but don't mistake that for extroversion. I'm an introvert by nature, my confidence comes from within. It comes from my experiences and it comes from knowing that nothing actually matters that much. If you hit on a girl and she rejects you...meh so be it. There's very little to lose when you release yourself from the shackles of decent society.

2021-03-08T23:45:43+00:00

Always not being good enough.

theseoulplayer · 2021-03-09T10:47:40+00:00

Short answer: People judge themselves harder than other people, and create a death spiral of only looking at losses rather than wins along the way. That brings down their confidence, and each further loss reinforces that view.

I assume that as you're posting here about it though, you're looking for a solution rather than a direct answer to this question, so I'll give some things that have worked for the guys I've coached.

The first step to developing any sort of confidence is to, well, find things to be confident about. Most people make the mistake of looking at nebulous words like 'successful', 'attractive', and even 'confident' and then judge that they are not those things. By measuring yourself against terms that lack definition, you'll always feel like you're coming up short. Instead of trying to be more of those words, look for more concrete and specific things. What have you done well so far in your life? Depending on your age and experience, this might be something like nailing an exam or a job interview, or it may even be something as simple as regularly making your friends laugh when you crack jokes. There is no right or wrong answer to what you've done well. Hell, I'm 34 and I'm still proud of a one-man skit I did in middle school Spanish class because we had an odd number of students and I was left out. Sure, it doesn't matter to my life in the big picture, but I took that bad situation and just fucking owned it. Anything at all where you can claim a W counts.

Once you have a few ideas of some things you are doing (or have done) well, you're creating a basis for future wins. Now that you're starting to look at wins rather than losses, you can start to take an honest and accurate assessment of where you currently are and where you'd like to be. The quickest way to do this would be to find some measurable concrete issues that are bringing down your confidence and that you'd like to change. Create a current point, goal point, and plan of action along the way. If you're currently lacking in confidence but you're on a self-help bender, it might be tempting to try and turn your whole life around overnight - I'm gonna lose 50 pounds, date 50 girls, and make $50,000 in the next 6 months. That's a recipe for failure, however. Instead, start with just one, the one you think will make the most overall difference to you, and really decide to make that thing happen.

For example, if weight is an issue affecting your confidence, you'll want to check your actual current weight, then decide what your target weight is. Now divide that difference by 2 (if in pounds, kg stays 1:1) and that's how long in weeks it will take you. You have a current point, a goal point, and a time frame, then all that's left is the plan. Diets don't fail at home, they fail at the supermarket, so you figure out what you're realistically willing to eat / make, and then only buy those things. Shopping online can make it much easier than shopping in the store for a number of reasons. If you need to get a friend or family member to 'approve' your shopping list before you buy it, then make that part of your plan. This is where the decision part of this process comes in. You've decided to win at this game. If you merely want to win, you'll give up when you hit a stumbling block. If you've decided to do it, you'll find a way to succeed come hell or high water. In the weight example, Twinkies become anathema to you. You aren't a person who simply chooses not to eat junk food, you are a person who eats healthy. There's a very big mental and psychological difference there that will determine your success on that. If you're interested in learning more about this idea, Scott Adams has talked and written about it a great deal, I'd recommend looking into his work.

As you work on your goal, developing a system (again, credit to Scott Adams) that leads you to greater success over time, you'll be stacking up victories. Every morning that you get up and go to the gym is a victory. Every time that you eat the food you planned is a victory. Every time that you have coffee black instead of a frappu-sugar is a victory. They are small victories, but they stack up. The best part of this system is that it doesn't pay attention to missteps and losses at all. You're working every day toward achieving something that you decided to change. That is the mindset of a winner. Even The Rock has cheat days, those are not losses, they're just part of the system along the way, which is overall working and succeeding.

All this is to say, you do some of these things, make some of these changes over time, taking them one step or issue at a time, and you'll find that in a few mere months you will feel and act far more confidently.

It's all about creating a system of stacking wins while understanding and accepting the mistakes along the way as learning opportunities rather than devastating setbacks.

MK2718 · 2021-03-09T10:52:30+00:00

How to Become More Confident

Fattybomba123 · 2021-03-10T10:19:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

bandsupjay · 2021-03-12T01:27:43+00:00

Don’t jerk off or watch porn, this will give you energy and will make you confident. Make sure you’re exercising daily and try taking cold showers this will kill any anxiety. Build up your testosterone. Most guys you see confident don’t jerk off or watch porn.

Title	What’s stopping a person from becoming super fucking confident ?
Author	Fattybomba123
Upvotes	14
Comments	21
Date	March 8, 2021 9:35 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/m0qs37/whats_stopping_a_person_from_becoming_super/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-stopping-a-person-from-becoming-super.1510868 https://theredarchive.com/post/1510868

Comments