Basically got called boring today.

inchhighgal · 2021-04-09T13:18:12+00:00

Maybe the problem lies with them and not you? Not everybody is going to like you and thats ok.

You don't want to be a nice guy? What do you want to be then? A not-so nice guy who gets a lot of girls? If so, it shouldn't be too hard to pretend.

chatpal91 · 2021-04-09T10:33:55+00:00

I recommend reading(or audible, i listened to it while working out) the book 'models' ... 90% of the book keeps reiterating the point of non neediness and being yourself. It's an awesome book

Substantial_Smell_72 · 2021-04-09T14:16:06+00:00

I have this problem too especially with txting. In person I do better but before I got more comfortable with girls I was into. I had to get more comfortable with talking to everyone. My social anxiety use to be crippling but once I started to talk to everyone no matter how much I didn’t want too, talking with people became second nature and my funny personality naturally started to come out. I was always afraid to say the wrong thing so I always tried to please the other person and not talk about subjects or I just stayed quiet. Now I just talk about whatever and ask question to actually have a back and forward conversation. The truth is you probably are funny and charismatic but until you become comfortable speaking your opinions you won’t be able to show that side of yourself.

Twotime_Tactician · 2021-04-11T07:05:53+00:00

I had this issue for much of my dating career so I get you. I could never keep a lady interested. But now I have a wonderful girlfriend after having changed some habits so I'll share what helped me.

Stop people pleasing, it's unhealthy for every kind of relationship in life because people gravitate to authenticity, not a 5 star customer service rep. I think ladies want a man who's courteous, not necessarily nice, to practice this, be nice with your actions and not your words. Someone who's confident in a healthy way is not afraid to say exactly what they think, while still treating others with dignity. often times it's more useful to disagree than agree, so seek it out, it's more interesting. Opposites attract.

It would be "nicer" to say how you like dogs too if she says she likes dogs, but if you like cats more, be shameless! Talk about the differences and get to know eachother better

In your personal life be a man on a mission, that's what you should be at all times. Doesn't matter what it is, be ambitious about it. Women want to feel they are tagging along for a ride with a person that makes things happen. If they ask you what you're up to,

You are NOT: "just chilling, might go to the gym"

You ARE: "about to hit the gym and run errands afterwards"

Life doesn't happen to you, YOU happen to life. Also important to carry that ambition into dating in the form of doing or planning something thoughtful

Testosterone. Testosterone. Testosterone. It's heavily connected to confidence which will positively influence everything in your dating life, and life in general. I don't know what you're like, but me personally, I was lacking. And it caused me to be insecure and more feminine than I could afford.

You can boost it easy and naturally by working out on a regular basis, your body will recognize the need to be stronger as an order for more T to match the demand. Not only will you get T from the workouts, you'll look better, boosting your confidence, which will give you T, which boosts your confidence, it's a nifty upward spiral. Here's my testosterone advice boiled down:

• Work out (drink protein to make the most of it) • Stand up straight with your shoulders back • Eat healthy and minimize alcohol • Prioritize quality sleep, get 7-8 hours. (Your body produces testosterone primarily during REM) (smoking pot can seriously hinder if not stop altogether, your REM cycle)

And 4. Most important of all, be yourself. Feel free to goof around, don't overthink things, chill out and be the you you were designed to be. Improve who you are but don't change who you are, not even for a pretty girl.

[This became longer than I intended oops]

Bren007pie · 2021-04-09T04:19:54+00:00

I don't know much as I'm really new to all this but this is my take: This one person didn't appreciate your joke, the "personality" you showrd, or maybe you didn't seem confident enough. That's totally okay. Maybe they weren't a good match.

I think trying to change what you say and try to "be nice" makes you less genuine. If you say what you think is funny then when someone likes it it will actually be because they think you're funny. Then you're off to the races.

It probably feels like a setback and you were overstepping, but keep going! I know comments like that can really sting. Most of the time people don't know that they're hurting you.

Either way if you keep trying you can only get better at it. Good luck man

Liberaler · 2021-04-09T05:03:43+00:00

Some people just don't click. That will always be the case, no matter how much you "change"/"improve". The most interesting person in the eyes of A will be boring to B. No need to reinvent yourself because one women rejected you :-) Change and improve for yourself based on your own perception and values.

Twobithatter · 2021-04-09T04:13:23+00:00

Whatd you do to scare her off or what did you say.

Ashido_Komaki · 2021-04-09T09:44:40+00:00

It's all RNG brother keep going.

siddcole · 2021-04-09T14:14:02+00:00

Read or Listen to "No more Mr Nice guy" thank me later.

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-04-09T19:07:28+00:00

Could you take this as a clue you need to find hobbies and make male friends to share those hobbies with? If you went rock climbing last weekend with the guys and you could tell the story about how one of your crew nearly died because xyz but you saved them by doing abc, you wouldn’t be seen as boring. You could also work for a dog rescue. Really anything you are passionate about would work. Well, maybe not fortnite, something outside where you interact with people, animals or nature. Girls give you bonus points if it’s something that could kill you but you survived. Shows good genetics or smarts.

Weekday_Warrior · 2021-04-10T21:32:08+00:00

Don’t be afraid to “polarize” and lay yourself on the table. If you feel like you have to make a palatable version of yourself you are: A) already a putting yourself down and B) not letting people see who you really are.

sweetmomo · 2021-04-09T10:49:06+00:00

hmmmm when I first read your first paragraph I assumed she meant she wants to continue to get to know you, not that you’re boring

VanessaChaland · 2021-04-09T23:24:04+00:00

"Nice" is subjective and means nothing overall. One persons "niceness" is rude to someone else. And confidence has nothing to do with being "nice" or not. Confident people can be nice, or they can be jackasses. Worry less about being offensive (also subjective) and just be yourself. Being sincere, genuine and "real" is always best.

Openexpress · 2021-04-10T04:03:06+00:00

To be honest that saying about nice guys finishing last is very true. No one really wants a guy or a girl with a ponytail personality.

Title	Basically got called boring today.
Author	RudayJay
Upvotes	35
Comments	31
Date	April 9, 2021 3:57 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mn91w6/basically_got_called_boring_today/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/basically-got-called-boring-today.1512314 https://theredarchive.com/post/1512314

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