To be brief, for these past 3 years I have been the sole provider and work from home so was never emotionally/physically unavailable or absent because of work. Have always been faithful and stayed fit throughout the marriage.

Had to take a trip for 3 months for family matters (the first time being away from my wife for longer than a few days) everything seemed fine and we still spoke and hung out online a few hours a day. But about 1 month in she said to me she resents me for stupid arguments we have had over 2 years ago and wants "space". To me this sounded hilarious because what more space could she need if we are already far apart, and how are arguments from years ago still even relevant. I kind of tell her to brush it off and said there is no such thing as "Space" unless she has other intentions. We continued to talk daily but she was noticeably acting cold/distant.

Anyways fast forward, the trip is over and I am back home. The first week back things seem to be going good, until we have a minor argument because I asked her about her cold behavior and she suddenly said "I don't love you anymore" and "I don't want to be with you anymore". Again blaming it on me for arguments we had a long time ago. Which then made me feel uneasy, could she really mean these things? Immediately I think to myself she has been cheating, but she denied all accusations and held her ground. I idiotically tell myself "My wife would never cheat on me she is definitely not that kind of person".

At this point I've got a little bit of anxiety going on and I try to repair whatever the problem is, because she's convinced me she feels this way because of "arguments in the past". I offer marriage counseling, 1 on 1 counseling, even a getaway vacation, but nope nada nothing. I even sincerely apologized for any argument that may have caused her to show resentment, but she was stone cold. She is unwilling to budge or put any more effort into trying to fix the marriage. Her excuse was she has been "trying" this whole time lol, and now she's tired of trying and wants a divorce. 0 communication, 0 chances to resolve anything, 0 remorse or feelings, just completely childish.

1 month later and we have now been separated for 1 week.

I am 99.999999999% sure that she was having an affair or at minimal an emotional affair a month after I left for family matters. Despite me politely asking more times than I could count, and now even finding good evidence she has been talking to a guy that looks like a crack addict and doesn't even have a job, she still won't admit it and its sickening lol. Throughout this entire process prior to separation we were still fairly intimate a few times a week. It makes absolute no sense as to why she would still be intimate with me if she was having an affair. Due to my work we never had any financial issues, and she would not have to move a finger for the rest of her life if she didn't want to, but regardless this is still the decision she made. I am having trouble making it make sense, 90% of my assets are in areas she can't and will never have any access to, and we were renting a condo so she gains almost nothing from divorcing me. It's just frustrating because she has now ruined a large part of my life and a future we had planned and I still don't get it?

Why not wait until we bought a house to initiate a divorce like wtf?