Going through the last of the divorce paperwork and I’m on this trip with a buddy that should be all fun and laughs and drinking good time and I can’t help but think about my soon to be ex. I’m sad as shit and think about all the good times we had and how this sucks but then I try and remind myself that that’s not fair and I need to be honest and remember the bad times and by that I mean the real times of what it was really like at the end, when it got bad…

….when one random remark would send her overboard or when she would stew and be stubborn and give me the pissy silent treatment for a week on average (not talk to her own husband for a freaking week, not because she claimed she was mad but because she had to “work out her feelings”), and the utter way she made me feel awful for any of a number of reasons and why it was clear at the end I wasn’t happy and couldn’t live like that anymore. Yeah, I’m not kidding it’s actually hard to remember that when I think about her good qualities and get depressed about the end of our marriage and I try to encourage myself not to paint her with a more positive brush than reality had.

She’s not a bad person, we just weren’t compatible, we were just two very different people….so yeah, I don’t know, anyone else feel that way? Just rambling and feel lost at the moment.