Also known as “friendzoning” in many circles, it’s considered a problem if a man takes advantage of a woman’s interest in him by getting sex, while having no intention of commiting to her. He will, however, constantly do little things to maintain her interest so that she can continue to be used for sex (like paying sometimes for a dinner, or just saying words like “you’re the only one I think about”), while he constantly entertains other women. The woman in this situation is considered a victim of emotional abuse and psychological manipulation, and society would lambaste the man who did this.

Now when women do this, she takes advantage of a man’s interest, and some men continue being a free therapist or paying for drinks or whatever, being manipulated by small gestures like “I’m lucky to have a guy like you” or hugs, but no intention of going further or making the relationship public. The man in this situation is considered an idiot, or that he should know better, and this is despite the fact that whoever does the initation (typically men) is at greatest risk of being taken advantage of due to the principle of least interest (his initiating contact makes it clear that he at least is interested while there’s no guarantee that this is true of the woman).

My question is, why do we have such a double standard? Are both genders victims of the other’s psychological manipulation, or are they both idiots who should know better? Personally, I believed friendzoned people are victims in the same way gambling addicts are victims: being desperate is a human emotion, and getting small trinkets of hope is all that’s needed to be strung along.