If you're always the dumper and not the dumpee, all it signals is that you're a narcissist

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-07-10T16:42:49+00:00

Your post has been removed for being a rant.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2024-07-10T16:11:53+00:00

I am a man and I have never been broken up with. I always am the dumper (fun word you got there.)

I totally understand that this can be a red flag if you also pair it with "oh my ex is fucking crazy."

My exes weren't insane nut jobs, they just didn't make a good partner for me. I wasn't happy and I chose to remove myself and go separate ways. The common denominator is always me. I make for a pretty damn good partner. I check my report card and do my best. I am by no means perfect but if no one wanted to leave me I would say that's a bit of a green flag as long as I have a good understanding of those partners and the relationship.

Zabadoodude · 2024-07-10T16:20:03+00:00

If they also trash talk their exes then yes.

But some people are just good at recognizing when a relationship isn't going to work out and end things instead of letting it slowly die over years.

MistyMaisel · 2024-07-10T16:22:56+00:00

Not at all, I'm just the person who had the trigger finger to call scene on the relationship because I didn't see anything left to do, preserve, or fight for. They were all mutually bad relationships with, faults on both sides, I just didn't feel the good outweighed the bad as they seemed to.

For me, the common denominator I'd point at is that all of them came crawling back, not me. And none of them are in happy, healthy, or committed relationships. Many have never found another girlfriend. Which suggests that in those relationships, when I said I'd change, I did and when they said they'd change, they didn't. And that refusal to change has them gridlocked. I'm glad I'm not the same girl who was in those relationships behaving in those ways that didn't serve myself or my partner.

Solondthewookiee · 2024-07-10T16:21:57+00:00

A lot of women on here love to brag about how they've never been dumped and that they've dumped every guy they've been in a relationship with until they got married

Who? Even among the women I've met who I suspect of being narcissists (at the very least, they're assholes), I can't say I've ever heard a woman brag that she's always been the one who did the dumping.

But if we accept this hypothesis as true, I would say that if you're the one who is always dumped, you're spineless and/or have no standards whatsoever.

TeensyTrouble · 2024-07-10T16:15:16+00:00

It shows they’re less accepting of imperfection than the men they date

Tywinlol2 · 2024-07-10T16:23:39+00:00

I know that it is aimed at women, and the last thing I want to do is defend women, but there are other potential explanations that don't involve narcissism. For example, in my relationships all women overtime seem to change their willingness to be forever girlfriends and start to hint/demand marriage. Two of them, who originally swore that they were okay with staying child-free, also changed their minds and started to ask for kids. I'm sure there are other scenarios that have legitimate explanations for being the dumper all the time.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-07-10T16:29:08+00:00

Who’s actually bragging about how many men they’ve dumped? Or is this just something you’ve pulled out?

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Unable_Evidence_4028 · 2024-07-10T16:23:43+00:00

With exception of one ex-gf, all others cheated on me. I would have been a moron for staying.

tiddermacss · 2024-07-10T16:42:21+00:00

narcissist and good looking

AcephalicDude · 2024-07-10T16:43:46+00:00

I think narcissism is only one possible explanation. People have fear of commitment that stems from all sorts of psychological reasons. I think it's actually going to be personal insecurity more often than actual narcissism, but either is totally possible.

Disastrous_Donut_206 · 2024-07-10T16:11:17+00:00

I read comment after comment on this sub from men saying they have no standards for women related to their personality. They date ANYONE who isn’t fat.

When men are willing to date women they don’t like in order to get sex, of course women are going to be the ones ending these relationships.

Title	If you're always the dumper and not the dumpee, all it signals is that you're a narcissist
Author	Cunning_Linguists_
Upvotes	1
Comments	27
Date	July 10, 2024 4:03 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dzzhno/if_youre_always_the_dumper_and_not_the_dumpee_all/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-youre-always-the-dumper-and-not-the-dumpee-all.1523847 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523847

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