Hello fellow men,

So as the title suggest, I’m not divorced yet. I don’t want it to happen, but it seems inevitable. I’m worst off than many of you, I was the stay at home parent. It was a decision she suggested, and I naively agreed to. Anyways, wondered if any of you out there was in a similar situation? If the divorce does come to happen, I don’t mind giving her everything. I’ll just start over, granted I’m not young anymore, I’m 40. I was an IT manager before staying at home, I realize finding work in my field will be damn near impossible after being away for so long. Roughly 3 years. I’ll have no choice but to leave the state and move back to where my parents live, at least I’ll have family there. Here I have none, it’s all her family. How difficult was the change? Are you in a better place? If I move as I can’t afford living where I am (Hawaii). this means I’ll be far from my children if she decides to keep them. The court may decide that for us as she is the bread winner. I hope to God I get them as they’re my boys, and she is toxic as hell, saying the craziest things to them when she’s mad….like, “I wish you were never born.” Or,” wish you would die,” to an 8 yr. That kind of stuff. That’s inexcusable no matter how stressed or angry you are as a parent. Our relationship has been toxic for years, but it’s a roller coaster. She’s loving one moment and hateful the next. Is this borderline narcissism? Bipolar disorder? I don’t know, but I do know, I can living without this shit. I have a feeling we are both just in it for the kids. I do love her, but I’m tired of this emotional rollercoaster. If I get a divorce, I don’t think I’ll ever get married again. What’s the point?