How to stop caring if a girl looks at me or not

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-08-21T16:46:39+00:00

There are some things a bit harder to absorb, but you kind of have to.

People just do not flirt as much since pandemic. People's social skills are worse since the pandemic. You are not the only awkward person, several women are also awkward. Not every social cue has a deep meaning, especially since so many people are awkward since the pandemic. A lot of people, including women, have similar insecurities as you.

A big part is not putting women on a pedestal, another is not assuming that all women are these confident girl bosses or walking heartbreakers.

Nice guy syndrome seems to stem from black and white thinking; be mindful of that and monitor yourself when you fall into these thought patterns. If you are assuming that every stranger spends a lot of their time thinking about you, and you assume they must either like you a lot or hate you with no grey area, it's time to step back a bit.

bluemagex2517 · 2024-08-22T00:57:57+00:00

I don't think you can undo your awareness, but you can teach yourself that someone's looking at you is meaningless without context.

Some people have adhd or just zone out a lot and their eyes tend to track movement. Some people have outward focus and look at everyone around them. Some people are hyper keyed in on fashion so they're always checking out other people's clothes.

You can't really guess why random strangers are looking at you or what they're thinking about when they do so. If it's someone you know, you might have a sense of it. Otherwise, it's best not to guess.

It's fine to notice if someone is looking at you, but just try not to read anything into it. Don't guess their intentions or thoughts about you.

Honestly, it's a bit shitty to assume the thoughts in other people's heads. Give them respect and let them communicate those thoughts to you when and if they want to.

P.s. if you're 29, the "girls" you're talking about are women. Call them women. If underage girls are making you nervous, that's a whole other problem.

sensitive_pirate85 · 2024-08-22T01:33:35+00:00

Try to remember that you’re not a mind-reader — You technically don’t know if she’s “checking you out,” or wanting to tell you to wipe that booger out of your nose…

Try not to place too much importance on other people’s opinions of you, and place more importance on the ease or difficulty of going through life, or throughout your day— A nice checkout girl was kind to you? Great! A stocking woman was rude to you, not great… The checkout counter girl may have liked you, or they might have been just having a good day all around… The stocking lady may dislike you, or she might have just been having a bad day, who knows?

I think about things like this, whenever I’m out, so that I don’t place too much importance on other people’s opinions of me. If someone seems interested in you, though, it’s not wrong to show interest right back! Try gaging interest by engaging in pleasant conversation.

ZeroSumSatoshi · 2024-08-21T22:45:18+00:00

If almost every girl from 20 to 60 looks at you, thinks you’re hot… who cares if a few don’t notice.

Abject-Interview4784 · 2024-08-22T09:36:21+00:00

Find some interests and things to daydream about.so you aren't paying attention to your surroundings. Do hobbies and meet women there. Make friends with dudes too. Women like men with friend skills. Good luck!

Fun-Grocery-3643 · 2024-08-30T00:50:46+00:00

Hey brother, I've been coaching men in this space for nearly 2 decades, and the first thing I'd recommend is that you just go easy on yourself. We humans find it very easy to find evidence for our wrong-doing and why we're messed up. Relax and accept that all kinds of crazy happens in your head and that you're fine.

The truth is that millions of years of biology have sensitized you to the glance of a woman. It's okay to feel something, it's okay if you don't. You can enjoy it, you can ignore it, you can laugh at yourself for making meaning out of it, you can go over and say hello and just be curious about whether or not there is something there.

Life is short and full of wonder. Don't catastrophize about the little crazies of your self critical voice.

StayCool-243 · 2024-08-22T13:18:48+00:00

Look at some other dude real quick and imagine that he's in a similar quandary. It's quite uninteresting, yea? That's you.

Or, frame the situation as you looking at her, instead of the other way around. It's sort of true, yea? I'm guessing that you don't care so much unless it's someone you find attractive. So like, what are you going to do about it?

If it's not reasonable (for whatever reason) to approach this person, then maybe this is enough information to encourage you to ignore it and move on.

Good luck.

Title	How to stop caring if a girl looks at me or not
Author	Intelligent-South-82
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	August 21, 2024 2:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1exqhcl/how_to_stop_caring_if_a_girl_looks_at_me_or_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-to-stop-caring-if-a-girl-looks-at-me-or-not.1527898 https://theredarchive.com/post/1527898

Comments