Gets worse after decide to leave it

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-08-23T16:30:49+00:00

What behavior did you relapse to and what caused you do to it?

Inareskai · 2024-08-23T16:41:05+00:00

It's quite common in therapy for things to 'get worse before they get better'. You haven't mentioned if you're actually in therapy, but I think the principle likely still applies.

Often to make changes you've got to stop relying on your previous (less healthy) coping mechanisms, and that can 1. make it harder to cope until you've learned healthier ones and 2. make it harder not to have moments where you relapse into using those methods again as a means of managing.

The way through it is to keep trying and keep learning new healthy methods to handle what you're feeling.

ChicoBrillo · 2024-08-23T16:37:43+00:00

Being a little too vague here, what do you mean harmful behaviors?

domitori3 · 2024-08-23T18:33:54+00:00

Personally, I wouldn't consider this "stopping PMO" thing as a healthy behavior that anyone should do.

Should anyone stop watching porn? If it's against your personal values, then yes. But masturbation... do you think that for a young, healthy person it is even possible to keep the steam inside and still behave adequately?

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-08-23T16:34:20+00:00

do these harmful behaviors have any kind of stress related triggers? are they subtle panic responses?

Also, be a little more specific.

Also, remember: no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and these things sometimes take time to get yourself repeating good habits.

Hotline_Mulberry · 2024-08-23T23:44:27+00:00

Yes. I was coping with PMO. Then I coped with Redpill. After redpill I had no coping mechanism so back to PMO.

I was forced to confront the behaviours (PMO) by confronting the triggers (loneliness). So it got harder until I did some self reflection and a lot of therapy

KitchenRevenue4042 · 2024-08-23T22:42:42+00:00

What's is PMOing??

floracalendula · 2024-08-23T23:34:05+00:00

Friend, the only result I get from PMO on DuckDuckGo is project office management...?

bluemagex2517 · 2024-08-24T01:58:30+00:00

What does this have to do with red pill?

Abstinence from masturbation isn't necessarily bad, but it's usually based on pseudoscience. Using the term PMO tells me you're deep into the nofap pseudoscience.

Giving up video porn I great, but it's fine to masturbate to your own imagination or to erotic stories. The claims nofappers and religious sources make about brain chemicals is nonsense. Yeah, masturbation releases endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin... but not an unhealthy amount. No more than reading a really good book you like, or watching a movie that you really enjoy, or eating an outstanding meal. etc.

Video porn has a lot of unrealistic and toxic ideas in it, so giving that up is a pretty good idea if you feel affected by it.

The vast majority of people who think they're addicted to porn don't meet the clinical criteria for addiction. That doesn't mean that they aren't free to abstain, but often they're caught up in cult like groups that demonize all masturbation and blame that for a person's problems. Usually that person would benefit from talk therapy and learning goal setting techniques instead of abstinence from masturbation.

Usually complete abstinence from masturbation without any other sexual outlets is too difficult and leads to failure, which makes the person feel like they're failing at their other more important goals. It's a needless exercise in self flagellation and toxic self control.

It's usually much healthier to just moderate masturbation to at most once a day and to not use video porn. Usually better to use moderation instead of abstinence.

Abstinence usually leads to new toxic cycle of hope, making lots of goals, an attempt to abstain, anxiety from the difficulty of abstaince, failure to abstain, depression, giving up on other goals, then hope again and the cycle starting over again.

Again, this has nothing to do with red pill. Nofap and various religious groups that promote total masturbation abstinence as part of self improvement are different toxic cults.

Title	Gets worse after decide to leave it
Author	Intelligent-South-82
Upvotes	4
Comments	21
Date	August 23, 2024 4:11 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1ezgpjd/gets_worse_after_decide_to_leave_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/gets-worse-after-decide-to-leave-it.1528137 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528137

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