Not my post, but I’m curious what you guys think.

Clockw0rk · 2024-08-24T19:43:20+00:00

I started to read the comments, then remembered that that sub is a misandric shit-hole that routinely excuses women's bad behavior and almost constantly frames the man as the problem in any equation. It's extremely telling that one of the top comments has more upvotes than the post itself, and is of course "Well, consider your wife's feelings".

There's a laundry list of failures in that situation. Like, first and foremost on both of them for being adults responsible for children: Depression has levels of intensity and duration. If you've gone more than six months in a depressed state, you need to be seeing a medical professional. That's like a baseline, your family, friends, and spouse should all be pushing you toward treatment if you're going through a major depressive episode. Moreover, the moment this guy became aware that his wife was no longer sexually interested in him, that should've been a fucking signal flare to engage in couple's therapy, especially if it was hinted at or explicitly confirmed that his depression was at fault.

And I understand people can have 'custom vows' or whatever these days, but the so-called 'sanctity' of marriage is allegedly very well understood by the general public. "To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do we part." It's so fucking prolific, I didn't even have to look that shit up and I've never been married. And dude's wife was clearly in violation of those vows. For 3 years, until he got better.

The damage is done, her true colors were revealed. She's a fair-weather bride, and did not meet his emotional/physical needs when he was sick. He lost his emotional investment, with good reason.

Blanket rule, gender irrelevant: If your so-called life partner breaks their vows, you are not the asshole for ending it.

And never stay in a loveless relationship. It's dishonest for a start, but it also hurts everyone involved by depriving them of the freedom to find a loving relationship elsewhere.

amjh · 2024-08-24T19:36:27+00:00

His wife was "there", but she wasn't really there for him. People are making excuses for her, but she's really only there for him when he's at his best.

ManWithTwoShadows · 2024-08-24T19:37:40+00:00

They're just gonna pile on the male/masculine party, like they always do.

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2024-08-24T20:30:59+00:00

Some of the people there are encouraging communication, which I always like.

However, a lot of these "how do you think she felt"s are also appearing, and seem to only be there because OP is male.

Ekhoi · 2024-08-24T19:43:43+00:00

I just realized that the body paragraph did not get posted, so I’ll summarize it here. For me, it’s not the fact of whether or not this guy is the AH that bothers me. It’s the fact that the guy’s needs were never considered, and the fact that if the roles were reversed, the woman would be encouraged to leave. Anytime a relationship goes South, men are always to blame.

ReflexSave · 2024-08-24T21:34:27+00:00

How dare he forget that he is first and foremost a tool for her? Now he's getting all uppity, after selfishly ignoring *her needs* for 3 years. Her need to have a happy, healthy, attractive husband. And she probably did all the housework and raised the kids all by herself, all while bravely allowing that... *thing* to even sleep in the same bed as her. I bet he even played video games at some point. He's lucky she didn't leave with the kids already. Red flags, toxic gaslighting, you have a *husband* problem.

....

Their comments are as disgusting as they are unsurprising. Just a little slice of everything wrong with this world.

Smurphftw · 2024-08-25T00:10:48+00:00

Reddit(and the internet in general), where it's always the man's fault.

Title	Not my post, but I’m curious what you guys think.
Author	Ekhoi
Upvotes	42
Comments	17
Date	August 24, 2024 7:02 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1f0cvbc/not_my_post_but_im_curious_what_you_guys_think/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/not-my-post-but-im-curious-what-you-guys-think.1528256 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528256

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