Overall Principle

Lord_Asmodeus93 · 2024-10-04T19:11:10+00:00

"I'd love to hang out again sometime" telegraphs too much interest. Best case scenario, she'll end up a platonic friend.

"It was great meeting you" instead gives the impression you don't really care. It adds mystery and unresolved tension to the equation.

It's also got to do with the way you say it. You probably say the former to women you're really attracted to, and the latter to women you're less fascinated with. They can tell.

The overall principle is that the more you want someone, the more needy/eager you will appear, and thus the less tension you'll create between you.

That's why one of the best advice I've heard in the community is to treat every woman like she's a 6. And the magical thing is that, exactly because you don't put her on a pedestal like she's used to, the more gorgeous she is, the more likely this behavior will make her attracted to you.

Unless she is a 6-, and if for some reason you want that kind of woman, no kink shaming, you should make them feel special, because they are not used to this pattern of behavior.

Dwerg1 · 2024-10-04T18:49:36+00:00

Saying you'd love to see her again means she has already got you, it's too much investment, you're too easy. You might be regarded as cheap and perhaps even with low standards if you're at that point after just one date.

Not saying it might make her wonder if she made enough of an impression on you. She might see it as a challenge and in turn she starts investing her emotions into you, given that she's attracted to begin with of course. The fact that you don't give yourself to her easily may be seen as a sign of value, you know your worth and you won't take anyone. Showing that you're not easily invested in anyone also means that if she does eventually get you then that means she's special, women love feeling like they're special.

Some guys actually play hard to get, but I wouldn't recommend doing that, easy to go too far with it. Also, if it's just a game you're playing while actually being sold already then you won't be authentic and likely won't play it right anyways. You should at least avoid being too easy though.

Personally, years ago, I would have taken just about anyone because I was not getting anyone. Whenever an opportunity did show up I showed too much interest and experienced the same, didn't get that second date as they just lost all interest.

As I evolved and eventually did get beyond that point I landed myself in a few situations where women tried to take advantage of me. That corrected my problem rather quickly as I learned there's good fucking reason to not naively trust women right away.

From that realization onwards I became naturally harder to get, I was no longer playing the game of just trying to get the girl. I was playing the game of "do I even want this girl?", I needed evidence that she's worth my time before investing. A first date is far from enough to learn enough about her to determine that and as such my emotional investment after a first date is pretty low. It's a very different frame of mind.

I learned this lesson by getting burnt on bad women, perhaps this is just the way most guys have to learn it. If not then heed my advice. Don't trust so easily, don't invest more than she has shown being worthy of investing into, don't be easy. Failing at this could be worse than simply not getting the girl, if you do get a girl you're at risk of being taken advantage of in some way.

If you're so easy as to easily be taken advantage of then this will be unattractive to most women, it's an obvious sign of weakness. If you're easy for them they're going to wonder who else you're going to be easy for.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-10-04T19:01:34+00:00

You stumbled upon the answers by accident.

It's all related to preselection and the girl gauging your options.

If you already have women, you are naturally going to end the date on a neutral note that didn't suggest or rule out another date.

If you aren't preselected, you will end the date by pushing for the next one.

Basically any behaviors or words that convey preselection will make the girl want to see you again, anything that confirms non selection will get you ghosted

mabden · 2024-10-05T03:14:54+00:00

First dates should be fun, lite, and short.

Dandys3107 · 2024-10-05T13:28:11+00:00

Your second option leaves an intriguing cliffhanger, as it sounds like a goodbye message, meaning the girl maybe didn't meet your expectations. Which makes the girl curious how it is in reality, placing automatically significant value on your point. Whereas first one is very generic and not challenging at all, it sounds like you would be overly positive no matter how date actually went.

Wonderful_Idea_5145 · 2024-10-05T23:54:13+00:00

Addendum: I recently had a first date with a girl who seemed SUPER into me. Because she seemed very, very interested, I figured there'd be nothing to lose by ending it with "I'd love to hang out again sometime". Turns out I was wrong--radio silence from her after. So I guess even if a girl is ga-ga for you, you still shouldn't give complete assurance of your interest.

Title	Overall Principle
Author	Wonderful_Idea_5145
Upvotes	14
Comments	8
Date	October 4, 2024 6:01 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1fw5k6q/overall_principle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/overall-principle.1532059 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532059

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