I’m so damn sad. I mean I’m going through life, meeting new people, trying to try new things, trying to distract myself. But when she left me it’s like she blew out whatever flame for life I still had burning. I’ve gone through some awful things over the years, this is by far the worst. My grandmothers passing almost broke me. This is like that but 5x worse. I’m always the happy person trying not to let my problems affect others. Here I am still doing it, still dancing at weddings, making friends, trying to progress at work. But deep down inside I just feel disgustingly empty. My worlds fucking grey. I’m so tired of it, she was one of the last things giving me a reason to keep going. And now she’s gone, won’t even send me a picture of our dog. I can’t fathom how awful she’s become towards me. I know I’ll end up finding someone else. But I don’t know how I’ll ever top her. She was such an amazing woman and my heart really was wrapped around her. No intimacy from her, “gross don’t say that” when I brought up kids, “get a hobby” when I try to hug her. And here I am, stilll missing someone who obviously didn’t feel the same towards me.