I've come to find out my stbx is "gathering evidence" to make a case once she files. I presume she is unaware that I am privy to this. At least I know that she is not privy to how much I've discovered on my own.

Her angle seems to be make it look like Im messy and that she spends so much quality time with the pets and the kids. She even secretly took my dog to the vet (which she doesn't like this dog) just to show shes taking the pets to the vet. Shes been taking an abundant amount of photos lately so that she can back up her claims. She even has her parents posting on social media about our dog (that she knows I want to keep) saying how great he is and how much my stbx loves him.

I have a couple questions...

  1. What evidence should I gather? and how do I do it legally?
  2. What should I be doing to make it harder for her to build her case?
  3. What is enough evidence? (I need to file first so I need to get what I need and file before she does)
  4. I have easy access to her g account. Photos, emails... not from her phone but from my kiddos tablet. Is this a resource I can use legally?

What have I gathered so far?

  • I've hit record on a voice recorder app on my phone.
    • Its captured conversations where her narcissism is on full display.
    • It's captured her getting overly frustrated with our 1 and 3 year old. Yelling because she just cant handle their energy.
    • It's captured our first conversation about getting a divorce, where she states "the kids are too much for me"
    • It's captured our first conversation about getting a divorce, where she states "Im not interested in any physical interactions ever again"
    • It's also captured how much my kids enjoy spending time with me
  • I have baby monitor footage saved
    • Its captured a conversation when she took the kids and the baby monitor to her parents. You can hear all of them dragging me and my name through the mud. Then later I sreen recorded a face time where they contradict what they were saying about me to my face. Basically two faced.
    • It captured them stating about hiding something from me.
  • I've been taking photos of my dog who sleeps with me every night (the dog my wife wants. We have 5 dogs)
  • I've been taking more pictures of the kids when we go to the park, or bath, or snuggle.
  • I've been taking pictures of the food I prepare the kids and dogs.
  • I've been taking pictures or video of me doing all the chores... Its super annoying to take photos and videos of all the mundane stuff and to be secret about it no less.
  • I have pictures of her leaving her medication pill box out on her night stand. I've asked her to move it because the kids have grabbed it, she gets pissy and moves it back. I've been taking pictures every day showing that its always there. But I feel like Im liable letting that happen. I was going to move them and then record(audio) her reaction when I tell her I moved them. Then see if they return. She may be more cautious since she knows she needs to be on good behavior.