I've posted a handful of long ones in here now. Ill try something short (this first line didn't age well). Because I really need some help. I don't know how many more hits I can take. It's never ending.

Wife wants divorce.

Why?

  • Didnt like a laundry habit that I fixed. I kept my clean clothes in a basket instead of hanging them up.
    • It's slightly come back, because I'm in a separate room and I'm depressed... but seriously this is the lamest reason to break up a family.
  • Dental hygene slipped during covid. Who wanted someone breathing directly into their mouth at that time?
    • Since fixed. 4 visits to dentist this year, new $100 toothbrush and $100 waterpic.
  • I picked up dog poop and left the bag of poop hanging on our back fence for like 2 weeks...
    • I thought I would have gotten out there sooner to fill up the bag...
    • She throws our kids dirty diapers in the garage which will stay there up to a week until I take them out to the trash bin on trash day.
  • I told her 10 years ago, after she was bullying me, that she made me so made "I could have spit in your face"
    • When she told me she was still holding onto that. I asked how she couldn't judge my character after 10 years. I've never even yelled at her. I was only describing how her actions made me feel. I could have chose better words as I never intended on triggering her

We haven't gone on a date in 2 years or anything of similar fashion. She says we don't have deep conversations but she wont talk to me at all. We haven't been physical since we conceived our now 14 month old. I don't even just mean sex. Anything. Hand holding... hugs..

I compliment her, cook, fix things, build things, held a job for 11 years now, don't drink, don't gamble, no drugs, no obnoxious friends that can ruin a weekend... Im a good dad. The only thing she dose with the kids that I don't is the paper work like scheduling appointments and what not.

She told me she cant give me what I want "affection and affirmation." Shes not interested in anything physical. Its her personality. Which I later could... backup her claim as I found memes she saved in her google photos saying she was asexual.

Then I also found a semi nude selfie... She has no friends so that's either for her or her parents? Yeah right. Then just today I found her on a dating website. When I saw "stir" in her search history I created a bogus account and sure enough.

4 days ago I found out my dad, who has alzheimer's, recently had a big surgery to fix a potential aneurysm. 3 weeks out from surgery, icu, hospital, and now in physical rehab... The text I got was "nurse thinks this is his new baseline, he didn't recognize his wife"... where as before surgery he still had enough to get himself to the hardware store... I started balling ontop my dog. Thinking my dad will never recognize me. I told her I didn't want to talk about it. I went straight to my room (guest room) and went to bed. I later find out after going to bed my wife took photos of me crying... secret photos... That next morning you could smell the stink from the stink eye she was giving me. I asked what was wrong and she went off about how I didn't say anything, left her in the dark... I said "I needed to processes... Cant I process?" She said... "Yeah. But you couldn't hold it together in front of the kids"

I said "what?"

She reiterated I couldn't keep it together in front of the kids. "I cant cry in front of the kids?" I replied to only silence.

She also leaves her medicine pillbox (M,T,W,T,F,S,S) on her night stand. Everytime I move it she moves it back. I keep telling her the kids can get it. She refuses to move it where the kids cant get to it claiming "if I cant see them when I wake up ill forget"

Look yall... I know. There is nothing redeemable about her at this point. There is something wrong with her. The narcissim, gaslighting, manipulation...

Why am I having such a hard time letting go. She was my highschool crush. We went on a few dates then went our own way. Met up 10 years later and our 11 year anniversary is tomorrow (married 6). We bought a beautiful home 1 year ago after moving across state and we have two beautiful children at 16 months and 3 years.

Im holding on because I want one roof over the kids heads. I want that family unit. Im in such denial. I still feel all the commitment I had when I said "I do". Like its my shield to die on. Because that's what it was supposed to be right?I keep telling myself I can forgive, she can earn my trust back... this is just a low that we need to work through.

Every morning I wake up and my heart is beating through my chest. My throat is so tight from anxiety.. which also keeps my mouth super dry. It feels incredibly unhealthy to feel this way for this length of time. Im averaging like 2 -3 hours of sleep. I have no support system down here. My closest friend is 1hr 30min away.

I have 2 therapists and well.. They are great and all but I already know. I know this sucks, I know... Im very self aware. I only use them to vent at this point. I don't feel particularly better after... i do look forward to them so I can get this energy out... but yeah.

I cant think, I cant focus, I haven't been eating much either.

I begged her to try couples therapy for two months. Try to reconnect on a couple dates. No expectations of sex just to reconnect. She just said she wasn't happy and hasn't been. Im just like.. you got married and had kids.. you haven't tried to connect with me at all. Arent you going to at the very least give it a try? We don't go back after we divorce. Shes on a fuckn dating app.... after telling me physical interactions arent apart of her personality... that she just wants to be alone.

;dadhfkl