Part of my punishment for practicing parrell parenting with my Ex is she constantly breaks the parenting order. Not only that, but there is also no court I've found from Michigan to Washington DC that is going to hold her accountable. After two years of co-parenting, another trial, and $50,000.00 in legal fee's in Washington DC family court I've learned that my Ex can and will create her own schedule and doesn't have to follow the court order.

Tonight I was supposed to have my girls for Halloween from 4 pm to 8 pm. I messaged in our parenting app, which she hasn't looked at for over a month. I waited at the police for an hour to realize she wasn't going to show up. Part of me knew this was going to occur. I had mentally prepared for this. Over 2024 I've developed a self-care strategy for this that consists of a walk, Korean spa, and allowing myself to eat fast food or pizza. I call my friend and have a tracker on me, so that why my ex can't accuse me of stalker her. The receipt I have from Mc Donalds also serves as evidence that I was nowhere near her. In the past when I've tried to hold her accountable in family court, she then turns around and makes false claims that I'm stalking her. She has become kind of famous in the area for her false claims. I've actually started a kind friendship with her past victims. A boyfriend she dated after she divorced me, and a boyfriend that she had for several years before me. All with the same stories of threats, being locked up for false accusations, and my Ex. emailing their employer and friends telling them that they are abusive. It's been nice having them, since they can only understand the madness. The big difference is I have to co-parent with this woman for another 13 years.

Instead of wasting money, I've chosen to instead practice radical acceptance. It's cheaper, and actually a lot more effective. Spending money on lawyers thinking that justice is real, is just a set up for more trauma, and more regret. Sucks not having my girls. It hurts. But I ask myself 'Are they healthy?' 'Are they having a good time?' 'Are they in the storm?' Then I invision them as 45 year old adults, and ask myself if I'll be able to answer to them? Will they be upset that I dragged them into the drama of the divorce? Did I try to alienate them from their mom? Sometimes I don't know if I'll measure up. I have fucked up.

I'm done with fighting. It doesn't do anything. I'm lucky that I do have 50/50, and I have sole legal custody. So I guess trying to live with the fact that my Ex is probably going to steal on average 20 days a year away from me, I'll need to learn to live with. She mainly takes them around holidays, or in the summer. I'm just barely coming out of debt, and want to invest in myself.

Anyone else been through this? How do you all practice radical acceptance when the court system fails you? When you've ran out of money and energy? How do you heal?