So shortly after I submitted my full discovery, STBXW that I filed against hit me with a Term Day trial for Jan 2025. I filed for divorce against her early last year. There was some progress being made to come to agreements so we don't have to go to court because we didn't have the money for this, yet she continued her affair and sending the guy money she doesn't have. She stopped negotiations because she knew she would have to pay me (disparity of income).

I spent months focusing on our daughter because mom leaving, mom disappearing to go on international vacations to be with her paramour and her being a overall shitty mom by putting her thru therapy.

She complains about not having money but she clearly has the money to go on all these trips and send her paramour money.

Trials costs money....tens of thousands of dollars, that we don't have. She thinks that a judge will feel sorry for her and order the sell of the house and give her more than half because "she pays for everything". That's not how it works. I am not sure why she will think a trial will go in her favor. We will lose the house. All the money will go into paying the lawyers, fees, her debts and at the end of the day there will be nothing for our daughter's future.

After doing a lot of research and shopping around, I found a very affordable mediator. His hourly rate is much lower than her lawyer's hourly rate. It comes out 430 total for the both of us for a 2 hour session compared to 1,430 for both our lawyers for that same amount of time.

We are already on our second mediation session and she's pissed that she has to pay child support. Child support is required while spousal support is optional according to the mediator. In running numbers, the mediator indicated that because she's paying for our daughter's schooling, that I would only be getting less than 100 dollars in spousal support, however if I paid our daughter's schooling. She would have to pay me child support and she didn't like that idea.

In that last mediation session, she was fuming mad and even crying because she knew she had to pay. The mediator didn't buy into her fake tears because he's seen it all.

I kept cool and calm. I could tell that she wanted the sell of the house. She was trying to force me to sell now and take a huge loss on it because she needs money for her new life and to support her paramour. Based on her income numbers, she can self sustain financially.

She admitted that she cannot afford a trial but just wants a trial date on paper. She knows it's tearing me and our daughter apart but she doesn't care. She knows it's hurting both our families, but doesn't care. She just has a mind set that she is going to walk away having court ordered tens of thousands of dollars given to her from the sell of the house. Me lose custody and me having to pay her. It's not how it works but she doesn't care.

I am in therapy myself but the whole process is so overwhelming.

The reality is, I am going to lose my house...be forced to live with my elderly parents, not get child support or spousal support and give her half my retirement and barely see my child because she will move away and live happily ever after with her paramour while being in severe debt for the rest of my life. I will have no money to go back to school to get a higher degree to get a higher paying job...the additional stress will probably be no good for my cancer and it will probably come back with a vengeance.