Have you ever had a failed relationship because your girlfriend/wife pressured you to give up your hobbies?

Poly_and_RA · 2024-12-13T11:56:18+00:00

The real mystery is why they'd get married in the first place if she doesn't approve of him being the person he is. I'm assuming these interests of his, and this way of deriving an income isn't a NEW thing to him.

I wouldn't date, nevermind marry, someone who disapproves of who I am and how I live my life.

Toofarsouth89 · 2024-12-13T12:51:09+00:00

As someone who dealt with something similar, my heart goes out to people who have dealt with that.

My ex pressured me so bad, I gave up on all of my hobbies and spiraled into depression. She was controlling and if I wasn't working, I should take care of the babies, even if I was working night shift and needed to sleep during the day. If I tossed around the idea or picking up any habits or new hobbies, she threatened to take the boys and leave.

On the other hand, I introduced my current wife into some of my hobbies and it was something else. I build gunpla and while doesn't really get into it (she just does the SD versions of the ones I build) She's super supportive and got me a mega unicorn as a home warming gift when we bought our house earlier this year.

MedBayMan2 · 2024-12-13T09:50:35+00:00

I never even had a girlfriend 😭

reverbiscrap · 2024-12-13T13:42:47+00:00

I made it an incontrovertible point to tell my wife that I will engage with my hobbies, responsibly, and if she could not handle that, find another tall, dark, handsome rogue to love.

She is now in my expansive pnp gaming circle 😅

dudeness-aberdeen · 2024-12-13T12:18:41+00:00

I can see his ladies point, but that does not make it valid.

There are things I’d be embarrassed to tell people, if my wife did them for a job. (Cam girl or MLM). I’d be in my right to let her know I’d rather her have a different job.

She likely was embarrassed telling people what he did. “My bf is an engineer “ is more succinct than “he makes YouTube videos “. People understand one and will have obvious questions about the other.

Like I said, I see where she’s coming from. But it’s from a place of her own shame and she’s putting it in him. It’s Not coming from a place of love. Boo her.

Hangman2TW · 2024-12-13T09:55:31+00:00

This is an interesting one. I'm not familiar with this YouTuber, but as a fellow nerd, I'd like to chime in on this

I think it's cool that nerd culture is becoming more widely accepted, so I'm hoping this kind of thing happens less. I suspect the reasons that people may shame their partner from their hobbies can be:

1) They consider it to be too much, either that too much money/time/thought is dedicated to a hobby. This can be much easier to fall into for nerdy hobbies, as it can be done frequently (playing games is easier to spend most evenings doing that snowboarding)

2) They would want their partner to have hobbies that they deem more productive or typical (in the case of men's hobbies, let's say something generic like DIY, or something sporty)

3) Maybe they are personally fine with their partners hobby, but feel embarrassed by other people's perceptions. This would be more likely if the partner was close with their family or older generations. In the example you shared, maybe just the fact they publish stuff on the internet?

Either way. It's sad when partners can get in the way of your happiness. But from my perspective, it can also help us from falling too deep into the rabbit hole.

But ultimately if your partner is intolerant of the things you enjoy, I wouldn't think that's going to be a particularly happy relationship.

Skirt_Douglas · 2024-12-13T16:53:39+00:00

I would never date a woman that controlling, let alone marry her.

crujones33 · 2024-12-14T02:37:51+00:00

Kind of. My ex girlfriend and I met in a board gaming group. After a few years together, she wanted to spend less time doing that. But that is my primary hobby. Our gaming social circle has several married couples who game. That’s what I wanted but it was not her.

Any future serious relationship will have to be this. I’m not giving it up again.

onlinethrowaway2020 · 2024-12-15T20:42:13+00:00

Yes ofc, if you consider intimacy, cuddles, and emotional connection hobbies! lmao

Title	Have you ever had a failed relationship because your girlfriend/wife pressured you to give up your hobbies?
Author	ManWithTwoShadows
Upvotes	57
Comments	16
Date	December 13, 2024 8:55 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/1hd87mu/have_you_ever_had_a_failed_relationship_because/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/have-you-ever-had-a-failed-relationship-because.1538362 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538362

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