"If my boyfriend doesn't risk his life for me and other women, he's not a real man."

Mysterious-Citron875 · 2024-12-16T13:45:26+00:00

I wish these women would actually say that to their bf directly so the latter can dodge a bullet before it's too late.

Wauron · 2024-12-16T12:13:02+00:00

Note that the OP admitted that the word "emasculated" was the wrong choice, but that ofc didn't stop thousands of people from upvoting and agreeing with the consensus. The comments are overall pretty misandrist as well, many saying they get the "ick" from his behaviour and demanding men to adhere to traditional gender roles without applying the same to women.

nashkeats · 2024-12-16T12:27:31+00:00

Where was the bear? Call the bear 😂

Paladin_Fordo77 · 2024-12-16T14:13:05+00:00

They don't need no man!

DemoniteBL · 2024-12-16T13:07:21+00:00

Just going to copy the comment I left under that post:

If I was your bf I would tell you to stop and obviously care whether you're in danger or not, but I wouldn't play the role of "the protector". Gender roles suck and men don't owe women protection by default. Our lives are (or should be) equally important. Yes, I know that caring about your SO is different and has nothing to do with gender, but I'm pointing this out because a lot of the comments here strike me as super hypocritical, basically demanding men to accept traditional gender roles without expecting the same of women.

It seems to me that you willingly went into this confrontation expecting him to be your "shield", rather than stumbling into it and having him be there for you. Imo you're responsible for your own actions, and he also doesn't need to protect that random woman you saw on the sidewalk. Would you do the same for a male stranger that was clearly uncomfortable around a drunkard? If you truly think someone is in danger, call the police. It's their job to protect people, not your bf's.

LucasL-L · 2024-12-16T12:46:32+00:00

13k upvotes🤮

henrysmyagent · 2024-12-16T12:24:16+00:00

She is an adult, and if she choses to put herself in dangerous situations, then she is perfectly capable of getting herself out of them.

It would be condescending and anti-feminist of her boyfriend to jump in and "save" his girlfriend from her mature adult decisions.

The boyfriend did nothing wrong, unless being a feminist ally is wrong.

VastlyVainVanity · 2024-12-16T13:13:52+00:00

This reminds me of that story of the guy who saw a crazy lunatic trashing the street and cursing out everything and still chose to not avoid him, walking with his gf directly towards the guy.

He then got stabbed to death while his GF watched.

The BF is one hundred percent in the right. You never know what a random person acting erratically might do.

Play the hero if you want, but don’t expect others to follow you. OOP is a dumbass who thinks men are supposed to put their lives on the line for strangers lest they’re seen as “emasculated”.

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2024-12-16T18:57:20+00:00

Remember its only toxic masculinity when its something that doesn't benefit them. All other times you are expected to be that guy for them.

ThePrinceJays · 2024-12-16T22:21:44+00:00

The GF

I can almost guarantee from the way she's writing this, that she was putting herself in harms way just because she had a man there that she thought was going to protect her. If a woman does this to you. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. These types of women are the type of women to get you killed.

This woman might have thought she was doing the right thing by putting herself in harm's way to protect the girl, assuming that if she couldn’t handle it herself, she'd have backup in the form of her boyfriend. However, this logic is naively selfish because, while her intentions were good, she failed to consider the burden and risk her actions placed on him. Though she may not have malicious intent, her actions are still selfish because she didn't account for the broader impact on him or any man she might expect to sacrifice for her.

This kind of mindset reflects a lack of empathy, a failure to truly understand the responsibility that comes with relying on someone else and is a clear sign of horrendous decision making skills, even if it’s done out of love or trust.

Women also need to recognize that men are far more likely to die or be killed by other men in these situations than women are. While the drunk man be mildly annoyed by a woman putting her hands on him, as soon as another man puts his hands on him, the situation has the potential to be elevated to a life or death situation. Many men have died over dumb and naive women (small minority) that will think what they're doing is for the greater good when it really isn't and even then, they only do so because they think they have a man behind them so they don't have to face the full brunt of the consequences for their actions.

The BF

As for the BF, he should've definitely done something instead of standing there doing nothing. If you, as a person, are incapable of acting in these types of situations appropriately, you really have some work to do.

Both are in the wrong in this situation. This situation could've ended up with somebody getting killed. Which leads me to my next point.

The Comments

None of the comments bringing up the fact that the BF and GF could've been murdered. Instead, choosing to comment about situations they've been in where everything went fine. That says a lot about the people commenting. Then I saw the group name lol, made sense. Women often do not understand danger the same way that men do, and can often be completely naive when speaking on these situations because they speak from the perspective of the protected sex. Which is why a lot of women have no clue how quickly a simple confrontation between men can turn into a life or death situation.

butcher802 · 2024-12-16T15:00:06+00:00

I’m confused. Why did she expect her boyfriend to help? Sounds like she’s got a little bit of a white knight thing going on

D4RK_REAP3R · 2024-12-16T12:48:50+00:00

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. She isn't wrong for wanting to protect that girl, but she should not expect her boyfriend to be white knight. Dude needs a new girlfriend. Seriously, why are women so entitled and arrogant these days?

AigisxLabrys · 2024-12-17T00:01:31+00:00

I thought they want men to leave them alone.

throwaway44444455 · 2024-12-16T14:57:51+00:00

And if the drunk guy has a gun and shoots the bf then what? Within a couple months the gf will probably be with a new guy.

Men die everyday because of situations that their girlfriend or wives brought them into. I’ve seen many otherwise peaceful and timid guys get brutally knocked out and even killed because their girl started something that they shouldn’t have gotten involved in. She was bringing him into one of those situations.

If it was really such a big deal she could’ve called the cops and have them deal with it, instead of sending her bf in as a meatshield.

Good on him for realizing that his life was worth more than just being a glorified bodyguard. Most men would simp hard and dive right into it, and that’s how they get killed or seriously hurt.

phrunk7 · 2024-12-16T20:34:21+00:00

Posts like this should be enough for these women to realize how hypocritical feminism is, but that would require more brain cells than these women have.

YetAgain67 · 2024-12-16T16:37:36+00:00

IDK, this is tough.

I can't quite take my own bias out this situation. If my loved one - doesn't matter if it's my SO or a family member of even a friend - is in a potentially dangerous situation...I'm GOING TO BE JUMP IN to defuse or defend.

I agree with the macro of this conversation - that society and women seem to push men into the "meat shield" position by default. It's a built-in expectation that men should just use their bodies to defend others, mainly women, by default. And it's fucked up. But at the same time, on a personal level, I think ANYBODY should be willing to defend their own, y'know?

Is that me being conditioned by "traditional gender roles" for men? Idk, maybe. But if OP was with women and not her BF, I would have the same opinion - standing around ignoring that someone you care about is in an iffy situation is pretty shitty.

Yes, they put themselves in that situation...and I don't usually advocate for people playing the hero because it could very likely lead to more danger/serious harm/legal entanglement...but on the flip side the bystander effect is just something that conflicts with my worldview and allows terrible things to happen to people.

I'm not looking to white knight or play hero, and conflict terrifies me, but I also can't stand by and let someone I care about face harm. It's just not in me.

While I agree that this women's attitude reinforces retrograde gender roles of men, I also can't bring myself to be on the dudes side either for literally ignoring a potentially dangerous situation his SO is in. Like, he just stood there on his phone? Come on...

And again, I would feel the same way of OP wasn't a woman or his SO.

IDK, I'm conflicted. I'm not on OPs side, but I'm not on her BF's side either.

Complete-Gear-1843 · 2024-12-17T12:26:41+00:00

Someone said it best : men appreciate and avoid violence before it happens, women do it after something happens. The bf had a point of view that I understand. I don't mean to say that he/she is completely right. Also, the girl had a mouth and can speak for herself if she wants the driver to know who's with her & isn't. Patronizing someone and expecting your partner to help? Also, her bf could have done something. Can't comment as it involves women & a gf too. I have been in situations where it got violent(only men around) and didn't jump in coz I knew it would be stupid to get in whether you win or not. Violence/physical measures should be a last resort and even in that case it's preferable to have an authority or a legal aide in case it gets messy or something serious occurs.

BloomingBrains · 2024-12-18T07:02:38+00:00

The guy should have done something and helped out but not because that's "what a real man does" or anything like that. Its just the decent thing to do, whether man or woman. If the genders were reversed I'd say the same thing.

SnooBeans9101 · 2024-12-16T12:53:59+00:00

Tbf to her I'd at least go to help if my GF was dedicating to protecting somebody else. If he 'doesn't know what people are capable of and can be dangerous', then why would he subject a loved one be exposed to that (regardless of gender)?

Title	"If my boyfriend doesn't risk his life for me and other women, he's not a real man."
Author	Wauron
Upvotes	149
Comments	51
Date	December 16, 2024 12:11 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/EverydayMisandry
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/everydaymisandry/comments/1hfhqpf/if_my_boyfriend_doesnt_risk_his_life_for_me_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/EverydayMisandry/if-my-boyfriend-doesnt-risk-his-life-for-me-and.1538655 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538655