Should you give wifey treatment to a boyfriend? I mean you have to show him you’re wifey material before he puts a ring on it first right?

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-01-01T16:46:32+00:00

It's less about what you do than how often you do it. You can make him dinner for date night, throw in a load of laundry when you know he's stressed, offer to drop by and let his dog out if you know he's having a longer day than expected. These are all perks he would get by being married to you, so seeing that you're both willing and capable of providing them is a win for you.

The issue women have is when they start doing these things all the time. The old adage "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free" might have originally referenced sex, but it could be used to describe all of the above. In this case, give him a taste of what he'd be buying, but don't let him take it for granted. If he wants someone to move in and care for his apartment while he works long hours, he needs to buy a ring.

Ok_Outside149 · 2025-01-01T14:53:38+00:00

If you search “wife treatment” or “husband treatment” or “incremental reciprocation” in the search bar there are a lot of posts about this

I think this is a good bar.

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2025-01-01T16:01:30+00:00

I think the responses are going to vary by generation: GenX and older millennials will say that you get to wife status by doing wife stuff before you're married, and the younger participants will say no way!!!. I'd argue this is part of the general cultural shift toward traditionalism (a variation of it for the times, not some real-deal Tradition).

Someone on PPD remarked that young women are rediscovering what women knew in the past -- that a boyfriend is just some guy, here today, maybe gone tomorrow, until he puts a ring on it.

As for me, an old millennial (middle class, secular, Midwest), I know exactly one couple that didn't live together or have sex before marriage (a conservative Jewish couple who married within six months of their first date).

Here's a good thread where RPWs share thoughts on wife treatment: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/efurHJMWEz

lostthering · 2025-01-01T15:25:05+00:00

You should only give him what you enjoy giving him, and ONLY if he enjoys receiving it. You may be surprised at the things your particular man places little value on, that you felt were expressions of your deepest affection for him.

Likewise, you should not feel entitled to receive anything from him unless he enjoys giving it. Also, gently inform him if he has incorrectly assumed you would enjoy something. He may be surprised to find out that some of the ways he shows affection, you find irritating.

Communicate about everything. Be grateful for everything, Demand nothing.

Once marriage is on the table, then it is time to tell each other how you would like each other to change, before being willing to be trapped with each other forever.

Then the both of you will find out how willing you both are to listen and change to keep each other happy. If either of you fails to do this, it is time to either leave each other to find someone better, or allow the unsatisfied partner to find someone outside the relationship who is willing to do those things you are unwilling to do.

daniel_leinadd · 2025-01-02T10:21:15+00:00

Witholding from a high value man is a recipe for disaster. Why would he marry you if as a girlfriend he doesn't see you as a wife material ? You should do just a little bellow wife level for him just to show that there is a gain in marriage and make it clear in a playful way that he'll get a bit more or keep what he have just by marriage.

Proud_Resort7407 · 2025-01-01T20:59:15+00:00

The "wife treatment" is a myth.

You do things for people you care about because you want to, not because you're trying to con them into signing a contract without really knowing who they're dealing with.

virphirod · 2025-01-02T02:10:21+00:00

If you expect husband treatment from a boyfriend (pay for dates, rent, etc) you should provide wifey treatment to him too

Big_Rain4564 · 2025-01-01T15:02:14+00:00

No - husband is fundamentally different from boyfriend.

daniel_leinadd · 2025-01-02T10:16:15+00:00

Most men fear otherwise, that once he marries you, you will relax and do nice things less often, many men actually fear it and for a good reason because it's common. Do what you feel like doing for him while making it clear that to keep this he has to put a ring on it. Live at least 6 months together before commiting to marriage to filter out potential incompatibility.

Logical-Cookie2472 · 2025-01-01T18:31:05+00:00

No because then why would he marry you if you’re already acting like a wife before getting a ring

AutoModerator · 2025-01-01T14:29:15+00:00

Title: Should you give wifey treatment to a boyfriend? I mean you have to show him you’re wifey material before he puts a ring on it first right?

Author Confident_Security77

Full text: Hi Ladies, me and my boyfriend are in a traditional relationship, and because he’s still in law school, and we’re long distance, he hasn’t proposed yet.

Should there be a limit as to what you do your boyfriend if there’s no ring on it? Such as cooking, sex, etc?

I want to show him that i’m wife material, but also don’t want to give away too much before marriage because i want to build anticipation for him.

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axtract · 2025-01-02T01:16:52+00:00

This feels deeply transactional. Not to mention manipulative. I’m sure your intentions are pure, but this feels like having a very clear goal and not necessarily communicating it clearly.

sprownie_ · 2025-01-05T18:18:36+00:00

I generally believe you should but I'm waiting till marriage and I don't plan to live with a man before that maybe stay over a few times a month at those times I give wifey duties so he has something to look forward to.

inchanpkkaf · 2025-01-07T23:41:24+00:00

Most relationships do not survive law school especially with long distance included. How is it possible to have a traditional relationship if you’re long distance?

MoreThanPurple · 2025-01-01T15:25:11+00:00

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