in short, we have been having a rocky relationship and we have been living separate since end November and saw each others couple times too. she was the one wanting to workout things, I was the one wanting to walk away, not %100 but I wanted to see a change to stay. during that time I said mean things to her about her weight, job etc because I wanted her to do better....

Fast forward, she filed I think this Friday for divorce, I saw her very briefly yesterday and she was so bent to ends things, she was hurt over it, crying and I can tell she loves me and she is ripping her heart by doing this. but she doesn't want to work things, she just wants to leave.

I asked her why she is so bent to leave without trying to fix things, nothing too big happened between us like cheating or something major, just small issues. she keep saying she loves me and she would take a bullet for me and that she fought for me but she needs to move on because I cross her boundaries?

She said that maybe one day the stars will align and we will find ways to be back together. what does that even mean?

I don't understand why on one side she says she love me so much and the other she wants to leave?

My personal opinion, I hope I am wrong, but I am afraid that she cheated when we were separated, she wants to come back but she knows I will hold her accountable and ultimately ends things anyways with much more hurt, that's why she is walking away but still hurt because she also wants to stay with the man she love?

for context, with her ex, she slept with another man the same day the broke up because she was hurt, so there is at least one incident I know about that goes back 10 years or so where she did that.