Is the first time the worst?

sqowz · 2025-02-05T03:26:29+00:00

Yes, but the fear won’t disappear right away.

It’ll still be there, but the more you do it, the more you’ll realize it’s just a false alarm.

And that’s the key, understanding there’s nothing to be afraid of.

Try the 3-second rule: count to three in your head, then say whatever comes to mind.

bruno-vr · 2025-02-05T05:50:42+00:00

i haven’t done a direct “cold” approach in a while but from what i recall is yeah the first one is the worst and then it gets easier and easier

but the next day it resets and it’s like you have to go thru all of it again, especially if you’re an introvert like some of us

that’s why building momentum is important

epimpstyle · 2025-02-05T08:59:13+00:00

You were a customer, they were nice to you, just like any waitress, vendor, etc. but it is good to know that 90% of the time you will find nice, friendly and polite women. From time to time, you will catch them in their worst moment and they will even ignore you or give you some short answers that will lead nowhere and just better leave. The first approach is the worst because you need to change your mindset from feeling passive and silent to feeling active and talkative.

If you stay in front of your PC all day long and don't talk to anyone, but after work you go out and expect to talk to the first woman you see on the street, it's not going to happen! But here is a trick because you can get into an active and talkative mood before you go out: listen to music/jokes, talk to a friend on the phone, do some jumping jacks/push-ups, take a cold shower - all these things will make you active/dynamic and theoretically you will get into a talkative mood.

Once you feel good, you can start a "warm-up" like I did in this VIDEO (talking with strangers) then VIDEO (asking a question then leaving) and after you are in the right mood it is easier VIDEO (approaching them from behind and telling a joke while they barely know English- but I didn't care), and later in the evening VIDEO

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-02-05T09:53:11+00:00

Haha buy some nike shoes and just do it! You'll always remember your first approach and it gets easier over time, so dont overthink it.

I have a post on approach anxiety and the principles of approaching, you can just practice that to get started. Just knowing some theory should calm your nerves because you'll have some expectations on what will happen next.

Dandys3107 · 2025-02-05T09:59:23+00:00

Just like with everything that is new for you. No one really taught you these things. And handling gender interactions properly is not that easy, women are "a bit" different, you need to embrace your strong emotions, use proper words and proper body language. The rule of a thumb is to start from scratch, get little closer, hold eye contact little longer, smile, make some casual chit chat. If you master that and warm up enough, next step is just about spotting good opportunity.

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-02-05T15:26:55+00:00

You need to practice for it to become easier. It's called "progressive desenticization". Or the exposure theory in psychology. Basically what you do is you ascertain your current level of comfort and you progressively expand it over a couple of weeks or so.

Feel free to DM me for more details I can't keep up with all the threads .

Title	Is the first time the worst?
Author	Roberto_Holdini
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	February 5, 2025 3:16 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ii0ly9/is_the_first_time_the_worst/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-the-first-time-the-worst.1542989 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542989

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