Field report 5 (approaches 25-31)

Part 5 of my series (last day of holidays I had to go to the university campus for something so first 5 of these approaches are all within an hour of each other)

25- thought this was a woman from a previous approach, they look that similar. Turns out it wasn’t but I got the number regardless. Chatted for a bit over text but decided to tell me later on she had a man

26- 10/10 American girl maybe 5 mins later. She’s a marine bio student and was very receptive (lots of energy, asking questions etc.). Was happy to give me her number. Tentative plans to go out for a drink this weekend however she did preface it with “I’m going back to the states next week and might have uni work to do this weekend”. So I’ll update on that next post

27- Indian girl on the way out. Approached her with a compliment but there was a bit of a language barrier and she just awkwardly said she had to run to class so I left it

28- on the way out there was a cute middle eastern looking girl pushing a bike. She took the compliment well but said she wasn’t looking to see anyone right now or date. I gave her my number and told her to text me if that changes

29- 9/10 Asian background girl. She loved the approach. Was blushing and saying thank you when I told her she looked pretty. Unfortunately had a boyfriend but ended with “if I didn’t I would for sure be interested”

30- in the car park. 8/10 girl told me she was a lesbian. Didn’t pick it at all but is what it is

31- on a walk in the afternoon. Saw an attractive older lady. We swapped WhatsApp’s and texted for a bit. She randomly called me yesterday to chat and when I made my intentions clear she told me she was married happily.

Mixed bag overall. However in the last week I have slept with 2 more of the women from these field reports so we’re trending in the right direction

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[–]Matter_Still 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

I may not be “the average Reddit user” today, but there was a time when I was, if by that you mean on the shy side, average height, average looking, and “average” everything.

I think I’ve made that clear what I’d do: I’d do what I always did since my mid-twenties: go about my life and take advantages of the opportunities that we all get—and they are there in mega-cities like NYC and small towns like Billings, Montana.

Have you ever seen “Any Given Sunday”, particularly Al Pacino’s half-time speech. His team is getting hammered. They’re in a deep hole:

“You find out life's a game of inches, so's football. Because in either game, life or football, the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a step too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast, you don't quite catch it.

The inches we need are everywhere around us. They are in every break of the game… . When we add up all those inches that' s gonna make the difference between winning and loosing. Between living and dying. I'll tell you this, that in any fight, it's the guy who's willing to die who's gonna win that inch. And I know that if I'm gonna have any life anymore, it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch.

Because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face.”

That’s more than pretty poetry, It’s a profound life lesson. Women, attractive, personable, smart women, are everywhere. They’re get their cars washed, go to laundromat's, work in dentist’s offices, and wait for their luggage at a baggage carousel. They’re librarians, front desk clerks at hotels, crossing guards, and EMT’s.

They are in the “six inches in front of your face”, not necessarily every hour of the day but enough times in a month or a year that you don’t have to go looking for them. You don’t have to “manifest” them. They will be standing next to you outside a theater, or in a sports bar.

For reasons of your own, frustration, I guess, you knowingly contorted what I said about talking to someone on a line at the supermarket, or abandoning crude openers if you see someone struggling with a bag to suggest a guy hang out at supermarkets.

So, what would I do, again: just take advantage of the opportunities we all get-/fat or sleek, short or tall, glib or slow of speech because farmers know a great truth: even a blind pig will stumble on some corn.

Here’s something most guys don’t know: they think eloquence creates desire; it’s the other way around: when a woman really fires you up (as opposed to being the 27th one you approached this week) you find the words, and while they might not be as oil-slick as those of Yeats, they’ll be as raw and powerful as those of Charles Burkowski.

When it all shakes out, with few exceptions we all will have our chances, and you don’t need a checklist of tactics to take advantage of them.

[–]Nervous-Arrogance 0 points1 point2 points 1 day ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree that opportunities are everywhere. But what would you say to the 19-year-old who sees those opportunities and is too anxious, inexperienced, or socially awkward to act on them? What is the bridge between 'opportunities exist' and 'I can actually take advantage of them'?

Here is the thing, you say:

Yet as someone who was initially to anxious and naïve to notice these things (and had parents ask if I was gay as I was that oblivious), I strongly disagree .

I think this is where our experiences differ. You are describing what it feels like once someone has developed social confidence. I completely agree that, once you are there, a lot of it becomes natural. My point is that some people are not there yet. They don't lack a philosophy; they lack the experiences and skills that make those interactions feel natural.

And again speaking from personal experience, approaching and putting yourself in uncomfortable social situations, to me at least seems the best way to learn. Yes you can join groups and hobby groups, but if your anxiety or shyness gets hold its too easy to hide in the background.

And when I say approaching, I don't mean treating women as targets or doing volume approaches. I mean deliberately putting yourself in situations where you have to initiate, communicate, and handle uncertainty Which to me at least, nightclubs, lounge bars (more this now a days), etc, just happen to be the best place.

[–]Matter_Still 1 point2 points3 points 1 day ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

No, I’m not coming from that place: I’m remembering something a prof told me: he had a client who was morbidly afraid of water—pools, lakes, oceans, streams, even slightly flooded streets.

The client said it was threatening his career, as it became apparent to colleagues that he was hiding something after not showing up at several annual Labor Day BBQs.

He told my prof, “I just can’t do it. I can’t go near the water.”

Dr. Winston said, “When it’s important enough, you will.”

The next year he attended the party in the Hamptons and had a panic attack, which led him to leave the house and hide in the dunes until he settled down. It was then he heard a kid who seemed to be caught in a riptide calling for help. As a father, something kicked in. He bolted from the dune, went into the water, and somehow pulled the kid out, proving Dr. Winston was right. When something is important enough, people run into burning buildings, shield others from attackers, and overcome their worst fears.

In my case, I had never “cold approached” a girl. My “dates” were friends, classmates, etc., until I met Dawn. We were in the gate area at JFK. My cousin, Jackie, a girl, said, “I think she likes you.”

I was 20. I looked over at Dawn. She smiled, almost bashfully, and I was hooked. I thought, “Not this time.” I had no idea what I was going to say. I remembered, another piece of advice Dr. Winston gave his students: “Just level. Say what you’re thinking.”

I walked over and said, “Hi. My cousin over there said I, uh, should come over to talk to you. She’s always trying to set me up, so here I am, you know, so I can go back and say, ‘I told you. She’s not interested. She has a boyfriend.’ “

Dawn said, “You don’t want to talk to me?” She almost looked hurt.

I said, “No. I mean, I did, I do, but I think you know what I mean.”

She said, “I think so. I’m not sure but, hey, I feel the same way when my stupid brother brings over a friend to set me up. My hands start shaking.”

And so it went. When we arrived in Miami, we all walked to baggage claim together and I went for broke, “When we get back to New York would you like to do something…maybe go to the city some night?”

I’ve never heard a sweeter, “Sure.”

So, what had gone on? There was some sort of harmonic convergence: right place, right time, right girl. It was a rare combination of circumstances. A girl as pretty as I had ever seen had smiled at me in a way I now know signaled, “It’s o.k. I’m safe if you want to say something to me.”

And to my surprise, she was as insecure as I was, which taught me an invaluable lesson: beautiful girls are often just as shy, just as lonely, and just as desirous of connection as we are.

My time with her, a few years, was all I needed to be turbocharged with confidence.

It also taught me not to squander my time on anyone who looked at me like I was nothing more than a piece of the scenery.

If some guys want to “flip” a woman who seems disinterested, have at it. My success rate went through the roof when my instincts said, “This is the right time, the right place, and the right girl.”

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Title	Field report 5 (approaches 25-31)
Author	Roberto_Holdini
Upvotes	67
Comments	28
Date	July 15, 2026 8:45 PM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1uxhu52/field_report_5_approaches_2531/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/field-report-5-approaches-25-31.1585125 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585125

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