I'm not a man but I am hoping to get some opinions on how to help my male cousin and pretty much best friend since infanthood. I can't really talk to other women about this situation because they just huff and puff about what an asshole he must be. He's been married for six years. Before he met his wife he had a very traumatic breakup with the woman he really wanted to marry (they were young and she wasn't ready) , his wife was kind of a consolation prize (lets just call a spade a spade he wanted to settle down but he's never been thrilled about her). Yes totally his mistake for settling , yada yada. He wanted kids, turns out his wife can't have them, she's very opinionated and he walks on eggshells and has really just kind of lost his twinkle. He's not exactly miserable , but he's not happy either. They are starting yet another round of fertility treatments soon but at the same time he fully admits to me that he regrets getting married and wishes he could be with his ex who actually hit him up recently not knowing he'd gotten married.

The thing is I know he wants to be out but he his just extremely afraid of conflict and confrontation and upsetting his wife. So afraid that he's just going to walk on eggshells forever and shell out thousands for fertility treatments with a woman he's not into. He doesn't think she would ever leave him on her own and I hate to say it but I agree. She has really let herself go over these past few years and dating would be difficult. He's still handsome and in great shape.

I know common wisdom says to stay out of people's marriages. I'm not really the type that sees marriage as this sacred untouchable bond that should be forced. On one hand I think he needs to be honest and get out and take the L. He's barely 40, he's got a great job and he's on his way up. I just don't know what to say to him. Or what to suggest. He fears being made out to be a villain and he definitely will be seen as one and I just don't think it's quite fair. No matter how generous, gentle or fair he is , he's going to be seen as the worst guy in the world. How do I watch someone just kamikaze their own life like that simply because they are too afraid of an uncomfortable conversation. I think he's spooked by horror stories he's heard about divorce but doesn't quite realize that the lack of kids currently will make things much simpler. What do you say to someone in this situation other than nothing? Isn't it kinder in the long run to be honest and go rather than string things along?