Fear and panic when another guy tries his chance

norwegiandoggo · 2025-05-14T12:46:15+00:00

Your fear is completely normal and healthy. Some dudes are violent crazies - especially in the "fight for mates" scenarios.

You could act more dominant. Talk louder than that guy, tell him to get lost, neg him or whatever. And for what? Starting a fight? This is not worth it.

I think the best way to avoid this problem is to find better approach opportunities and better locations to approach. You want to avoid hitting on women in those spots where there's a lot of guys trying to get laid. Especially a lot of macho drunk guys.

Not everyone out here is a Vin Diesel-like macho man. If that's not you: don't play that game. Play the game when you're at home court advantage. Maybe you're the king of the nerdy and quirky improv group. That's where you reign supreme. Whatever it is ; play to your strengths.

Another thing is to isolate women quickly from everyone else. And to do this, you want to spot those women who are disinterested in their group (they hang around at the outskirts and look away from the group) - they are typically looking for an excuse to leave soon. And why not leave to a chill lounge with you? Take her away from the male competition as soon as possible.

Lenovo_Driver · 2025-05-14T14:16:42+00:00

The worst thing you can do is act in the manner that you do. The second worst thing you can do is believe that you’re right for doing so.

That fear and panic is an internal feeling that you have and is rooted in insecurity and the belief that every guy around you is superior to you. Chasing another guy away isn’t a showcase of strength but of weakness.

Want to know what will help you get over this? Doing nothing. Letting him shoot his shot, and her eventually coming back to you will boost your ego and train you to see yourself as enough. She will even tell you what he said and the two of you can half about it after. Another thing you can do is find another woman to talk to.

What you don’t like is irrelevant. If you’re with an attractive woman, everyone has eyes and will try to shoot their shot. This will always happen. Guys will always be disrespectful this way. The only thing you can control is how you act. And acting like a kid is how you get treated like one.

topher_atx · 2025-05-14T15:17:33+00:00

I've had this happen! I think guys either see that the woman is open to cold approach and is a "buyer" OR its a guy she already knows thats interested and he's trying to run you off. Either way, she ends up having to decide. If she picks the other guy I'm out personally.

RealisticDiscipline7 · 2025-05-14T15:19:11+00:00

How did you “simply tell him to leave?”

Outside_Bowler8148 · 2025-05-14T15:43:56+00:00

Fear and panic -> you’re threatened - why? -> no other options, so lots of pressure. If many options -> no biggie if this one goes.

Dana_myte · 2025-05-14T17:18:27+00:00

I think what boils down to is confidence and being precent in the moment. If you're automatically feared the idea's, panic, beliefs seep in and you ultimately end up losing and shutting yourself down.

Personally sounds like you're not seen as a threat if a another man thinks he can just steal your thunder without taking you into account.

Take a martial art class or some type of self-defense class/hit the gym what this does is get you comfortable with male energy, with trying to be amogged and being able to handle yourself not only in this situation but in many anytime there's another male in the vibe.

Not saying that you're going to fight but nobody messes with the jacked dudes girl or the guy who's nicely postured looks like he can fight, etc.. Probably only 1% of "PUA's" are actually able to interupt these types of sets.

Secondly if you want to see it from a mental warfare aspect never buy into the guy's frame, it's always about you, act calm and relaxed and look the guy in the eyes and let him know subconsciously you're not phased and he needs to beat it. And keep doing your thing with the girl, it's okay to budge in or "game" the guy so that he falls into your frame.

spacecowboy993 · 2025-05-14T19:31:58+00:00

When you told the guy the leave, how did that work out for you? Did the girl respond positively? When other guys approached do you just sit there quietly or what have you done? I usually come back and act like I’m her man already say something like “ hey babe who’s our new friend?”. Introduced myself to him and then continued my conversation with her. In the end she’s not your girl so you can’t get emotional if she chooses to talk to another guy.

KumaFGC · 2025-05-15T04:03:31+00:00

Just grab her and walk away my guy

Physical-Time4796 · 2025-05-15T08:04:39+00:00

Answer this. What do you and the other guy have in common? Simple, the both of you want the woman.

The woman will choose.

Her body language and engagement w/ you and the other guy will tell you all that you need to know. It’ll be a night a day difference on who she seems more interested in.

If she seems interested in the other guy then you walk away.

If the guy begins his approach by trying to “run you off” say something like “Well I’m sure the lady can speak for herself”.

But you must stay in masculine frame and indifferent. If the woman chooses the clown so be it.

If she doesn’t seem interested and turned off by the other guy that’s when you insert something like “Excuse me but I think the lady has spoken. Maybe go try that other chick that can’t keep her drink down”

Livid_Leek_4246 · 2025-05-14T12:20:00+00:00

Be better

Title	Fear and panic when another guy tries his chance
Author	sumimigaquatchi
Upvotes	23
Comments	21
Date	May 14, 2025 11:25 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kmcp6w/fear_and_panic_when_another_guy_tries_his_chance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fear-and-panic-when-another-guy-tries-his-chance.1552100 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552100

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