child support is unfair

imextremelymoderate · 2025-06-28T05:39:57+00:00

What really upsets me is when the money is not used for the children, and there is zero enforcement. How can a system that purports to enact justice allow this to happen to an innocent child? Instant red pill moment

WhereProgressIsMade · 2025-06-28T15:55:38+00:00

It should be as hard to break the parity of 50/50 custody as it is for CPS (child protective services) to take a child away from his/her parents.

The biggest issue with child support is that is what funds the family court system in the US. Separating that incentive for judges to award things in a way that maximizes child support and thus the amount they skim off it would be a good first step.

Cindylynn43 · 2025-06-28T17:28:58+00:00

I'm here to see if anyone has any answers. 🤔 Personally, if a father shares custody, that should be the end of the support. Unless they had an agreement prior to marriage that he would support the wife in the event of divorce. I have seen that before. I feel like women should have to show proof of where the child support money is spent to ensure it is being spent solely for the child/children.

jdb985 · 2025-06-28T13:38:56+00:00

My ex lives with her parents, I was lucky enough to get 50/50 custody, and I’m still having to give her $800 a month.

KarateInAPool · 2025-06-28T01:37:34+00:00

Child support or not child support—no woman has the right to unilaterally decide whether a man is a father or not.

No_Leather3994 · 2025-06-28T07:02:38+00:00

I find it ridiculous if he can't afford to pay it he gets sent to prison all for the crime of not being able to afford to pay her.

Do mothers go to prison when they simply can't afford to support their child.

I also find it ridiculous it's based off percentages rather than a fixed amount. That seems ridiculous, after a certain amount you can just tell the money ain't going to be spent on the child.

LogicalClarity · 2025-06-28T00:33:09+00:00

It's instinct at work. Men have been the providers for millions of years. It's a bias that we all have (though some of us can overcome it through education and discipline). Men and women alike have a deep unconscious belief that men should be laboring to provide for their children, regardless of any other detail.

We also have a bias that sees men as having agency and women as lacking it. Even though we know consciously it is not true, unconsciously we see pregnancy as something that men do to women. The women are passive victims of it, whereas the men are the active agents (even if the exact opposite is true in some cases, this is how we tend to see it). It's just an unconscious filter through which our thoughts on the matter are distorted.

So, child support that heavily leans towards making men pay women, regardless of the details, is just a natural result of this. It's the "path of least resistance" of our instinctual biases expressing themselves through the systems that we implement.

Karkota_24Rollno · 2025-06-28T06:23:24+00:00

Most of the time the male parents get visitation rights, not partial Custody on the basis of bs given by the court.

SpamFriedMice · 2025-06-28T10:55:08+00:00

My biggest problem with child support is being the bigger financial contributor (by far) while not being able to claim them as dependents.

Quiet_Attempt_355 · 2025-06-28T00:05:13+00:00

Categorically, its intent is to ensure each parent pays their share of responsibility to the child. Its rarely the case. In any which direction. My fiance had a court side with her ex husband, and it took her 9 years to get full custody back after he physically abused the children for years. And now he is going on 15k unpaid child support and the court is doing nothing while allowing him to use malicious litigation to essentially pull us both into bankruptcy.

Its the court system itself that is fucked beyond reason.

Njaulv · 2025-06-29T09:23:29+00:00

The short answer is male disposability and gynocentrism. The longer answer is at least in the west things like the tender years doctrine and the duluth model as well as various other programs and policies through government saying kids need to be nurtured by the mothers and dads need to be providing money as their basic roles in parenthood and those are the two things that matter most in both situations. These have been thrust upon society by conservatives and feminists alike with the one idea that men are essentially work horses and women are child carers.

This-Top7398 · 2025-06-28T04:40:12+00:00

Thank God for my vasectomy, no regrets

Redsands · 2025-06-28T01:48:31+00:00

Simply because it isn't based on the providing for the child's needs, it is just another feminist wealth redistribution system to transfer money from him to her.

Everyday_Evolian · 2025-06-28T17:01:33+00:00

Child support makes no sense in a world of abortions on demand. Somehow its logical that a week before she gives birth the man has absolutely zero responsibility over the child and she can murder it against his most desperate pleads, but after the child is born its his responsibility to provide for it regardless of whether or not its his. It doesn’t seem fair to me that the woman has enough responsibility for the child to kill it regardless of the desires of its father, but then suddenly take his paternity seriously when money is involved.

Dagenslardom · 2025-06-29T11:49:49+00:00

800$ a month? In Sweden it is only 180$ a month.

ChillEChuckleberry · 2025-08-22T21:55:35+00:00

Anybody want to organize and do something about it?

greenmean3 · 2025-06-28T03:36:34+00:00

I'm glad its coming to light us men who have already paid had nowhere to vent at least you have an outlet.

Title	child support is unfair
Author	SingleAdhesiveness78
Upvotes	102
Comments	42
Date	June 27, 2025 11:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1lm90yn/child_support_is_unfair/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/child-support-is-unfair.1555776 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555776

Comments