Male in childcare. Vent.

Rare-Discipline3774 · 2025-07-03T20:47:33+00:00

It's discrimination, call it what it is, prejudice, fear mongering.

Men are no more likely than women to abuse children, some statistics say they are more likely.

Research focusing on the prevalence of gender differences among perpetrators demonstrates that mothers and females are generally more likely than fathers or males to commit CPA (Behl et al., 2003; Cui et al., 2016, Chung & Su, 2009; Locke & Newcomb, 2004; Park, 2020, Mulder et al., 2018). A literature meta-analysis by Behl and colleagues confirmed this pattern of females being significantly more likely to be CPA perpetrators (2003). Consistent with this pattern, adults who experienced child maltreatment report higher rates of child maltreatment from their mothers

https://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1825&context=honorsprojects

Even a large amount of reddit feminists said such a policy against men would be harmful.

Suspicious-Sleep5227 · 2025-07-03T20:39:56+00:00

This state of affairs should not be tolerated. Anyone who says otherwise does not believe in human rights for all. I would encourage you to write a book about your experiences as a male working in child services. When people look at you and assume that you’re not suited for this kind of work just because you are a man, the thought process is no different than racists, bigots or homophobic people. Writing a book about this experience I think would go a long way towards showing how sexist people are who are not comfortable with men working in child services. Also keep a daily journal in the event that you receive unfair treatment at work or are outright terminated without good cause. It would also be a good source material for a book.

Witoldski · 2025-07-03T21:54:45+00:00

Man I feel so sad reading your post. You are doing a wonderful job even though you are having to face these setbacks. But don't let this defeat you. Keep doing the good job. Those children need you. Do it for them, not for those sexist hypocrites who judge you for being male. And when the negativity becomes too much for you, take some time out for yourself and distract yourself with some hobby of yours which you are interested in. Things may be really bad now but I also think a lot of men are waking up to how hypocritical and anti-men the system is.

antifeminist3 · 2025-07-03T22:50:24+00:00

The article uses feminist bias: I have noticed that feminists discriminate on the basis of gender as to what source of information they use depending on the abuser's gender. They use convictions for female abusers and surveys for male abusers. This falsely under-reports women's perpetration of abuse, especially if you wrongly compare these data. When talking about men raping women, feminists refuse to use conviction statistics because they say they are inaccurate: they use surveys. However, feminists use convictions when talking about child sexual abuse (1.7% of convictions are women in the article).

If you look at surveys of victims of pedophilia in the same way feminists use surveys of men raping women:

The sexual abuse of children by women... constituted 25% of the sexually abused victims.

The news article then argues for discrimination of the basis of gender in employment based on the false statistics.

If you look at sexual victimization in institutions, it is even more disproportinately perpetrated by women:

Sexual Victimization in Juvenile Facilities Reported by Youth,2012

The above links shows that among perpetration by staff 92% of abusers are female perpetrators despite being only 40% of staff.

This disproportionate level of female perpetration in institutions is cause by female pedophiles (and not male pedophiles) seeking access to vulnerable children in institutions, according to Dr Michelle Elliott, Psy.D., expert on female pedophilia

Not only will this not help prevent pedophilia, but only paying attention to male pedophiles will create a system that facilitates female pedophiles' access to children, which is already mostly perpetrated in institutions.

Beneficial_Aide3854 · 2025-07-04T04:37:45+00:00

Imagine they extend this to students once they ousted all male in all levels of school.

First they came for childcare teachers and I don't care because I'm not one.

Then they came for elementary school teachers and I don't care because I'm not one.

Then they came for secondary school teachers and I don't care because I'm not one.

Then they came for secondary school students for "safety" because in this phase they can fan up the moral panic.

Then, university intake for males are dried up and no man is past primary school education.

Finally they go for higher years of primary students and all men are now stuck at year 4.

That's dystopic but it can happen if we let this run unchecked. Not mentioning that there are feminist separationists in younger levels as well.

Men will be going down a chillingly similar path as black slaves in the 1800s.

mr_j_12 · 2025-07-04T07:59:14+00:00

Misses daughter works childcare. There is a guy on paid leave/mental health break currently due to being berated by mothers at his work currently. Guys done absolutely nothing wrong and copping abuse left right and centre.

Quiet_Wars · 2025-07-03T21:16:30+00:00

The media know it’s rage bait because every video on the topic has its comments disabled. They know if they left them open they would get called out in the comments section and that’s not how you manufacture consent.

BloodhoundSkeptic · 2025-07-06T04:26:54+00:00

Argh!! Seriously... The real issue here isn’t about any particular GENDER in childcare; it’s businesses cutting corners to maximise profits, leading to chronic understaffing and reduced oversight. When supervision and support are stripped back in a bid to feed the hungry corporate machine, children are left vulnerable to harm from individuals of any gender. This is a systemic failure fueled by cost-cutting and a lack of supervision, not a gender problem.

llmethuselah · 2025-07-04T12:02:24+00:00

It revolves at the moment around a young man being tried in the media for a preposterous number of allegations.

This panic comes around again and again. I'm happy to stand corrected but the current case stinks of the Christchurch Civic Creche and Capturing the Friedmans (watch the movie) and all the others like them.

Sorry you're going through this. I'd change jobs to be honest. This has been going on for centuries and isn't going to stop.

Street_Conflict_9008 · 2025-07-04T20:02:05+00:00

I think your manager knows the reality of the situation. In early childcare, it is a greater risk for males, but at the same time it also gives children a male role model with single parent homes.

It is difficult to get males into the industry, and having a male educator on the team can be difficult to keep them. I think your manager see's the value you do provide, and is focused on trying to keep you.

Some of the other staff like to play games, and those games tend to lack a level of professionalism, something you do possess.

As for the parents, they are trying to weigh the risk of many things, not just your rapport(double edged with an aspect of intent), but also if they are to excited, they may stay awake and become restless.

Some of the best early childhood educators have been male, due to a lack of them and I have known a couple that have been in the industry for over 40 years but now retired. The kids loved them.

If it is your calling, look at using it as an opportunity to become a team leader, and help mentor others. Shift it from a risk argument.

bulimic_squid · 2025-07-04T01:50:59+00:00

Louise Edmonds came on national TV to screech about pushing men out of childcare, whilst blatantly disregarding the systemic issues of safety in the industry (many of which would solve or limit these problems), the lack of regulation, and the plight of the victims themselves...

They aren't coming at this from the point of view of protecting children. If they were, the discussion points would be about how to make the early learning environment safe for everyone, including educators. Pushing men out isn't the solution, and anyone with an IQ bigger than their shoe size knows it.

Including Louise Edmonds. She knows this won't fix anything, but that's not the goal is it.

It's possible that this is pure social engineering designed to stoke hatred and distrust of men, and to slowly normalize the idea of pushing men out of early learning. People right now are 50/50 on whether it's a good idea. Another bad case of a male perpetrator will likely tip public opinion one way - the seed has been planted now.

I wouldn't be surprised if in a few years they come for male teachers... getting all male influence out of education would be a huge win for womankind. Imagine the ideas they can plant in developing young minds about how the world should be, with no opposing viewpoint. I've long considered that women being firmly in charge of education is how they will eventually take power away from men completely.

Document everything. I'd strongly suggest seeking pre-emptive legal advice NOW before shit hits the fan, to see what kind of rights you have so that IF they decide to push ahead with this nonsense idea, you are armed with facts and protected by the law as much as you can be.

Stay strong. Protect yourself. I am so sorry that this is happening to you and others. I know several women in childcare, and for what it's worth not a single one of them agrees with the idea that men don't belong there.

Nymanator · 2025-07-04T14:21:01+00:00

I've had similar (and far worse) experiences as a nursing student on a pediatric psychiatry unit, with babysitting gigs, and as a foster parent to two girls. I do this shit because I enjoy taking care of kids and I'm good at it, not because I'm a predator, and it sucks hard to be presumed a threat for being born with a Y-chromosome. It's straight injustice.

Former-Dragonfly2226 · 2025-07-04T14:22:01+00:00

Firstly, heartfelt thanks for doing what you’re doing! I know it’s difficult when you’re rejected because of your sex. Try taking on board more the excitement of the children at the idea of you being their babysitter than their mum’s sexist stereotyping.

Street_Conflict_9008 · 2025-07-08T20:33:38+00:00

I think this will end up as a court case where female early educators have to do the dirty jobs of changing nappies and toilet training etc, while male early childhood educators do more of the fun things like story time.

It will reinforce a stereotype feminism has tried to break for a long time. It will also look at creating a pay argument where males are performing less duties, so they should be paid less.

I think it will take pressure off male early childhood educators, and increase pressure on female childhood educators.

rusty083 · 2025-07-04T10:26:28+00:00

I’m from Australia too. As a parent i feel anxious about male childcare workers. My kids have had a few and while they seemed OK you can’t have total confidence in them as much as you do a female worker. Simply because men are more likely to sexually abuse children. Something like 96% of paedos are men, and often they will seek out careers them that give them access to young kids such as childcare, schools and ministry. It’s just a fact, and the fact naturally comes with increased risk which naturally increases our anxiety levels as parents.

As we have seen with this most recent case and the one last year, one or two predators can destroy hundreds of families, so even though they may represent only a small fraction of employed male workers they have potential to do enormous damage.

Personally I don’t mind banning men from the industry. It’s unfair and discriminatory but it may be the necessary cost of protecting children. Alternative measures may be to install CCTV and ban men from children’s toilets. Running more stringent background checks etc isn’t enough.

jkh1985 · 2025-07-04T00:07:36+00:00

Full disclosure... I am a woman.

I have worked in childcare in the past, although most of my experience with kids is in recreation. Specifically, gymnastics, which involves a lot of physical touch (spotting) with the kids we are responsible for. I know so many male coaches who are amazing! Amazing coaches, amazing with the kids.

That being said.... When my son was small and I had him in childcare, preschool, and certain sports when there was a male teacher/coach my initial thought was always, "either this guy is going to be awesome or he is a creep."

Now, let me explain my reasoning. When it comes to men in childcare/preschool/traditionally 'feminine' sports I feel like there are two camps of men who go in to that kind of work. Men (seemingly like you) who are passionate about it. Love kids, love the sport, love playing and seeing kids grow. Whatever. And creeps who want access to children.

The passionate men far outweigh the creeps. But we are all protective of our children. It absolutely is going to be an uphill battle for you but there are going to be so many kids who remember you fondly for the rest of their lives.

MaleEducation1 · 2025-07-03T23:00:48+00:00

Well mother nature was not fair with any of us. We can't really do anything about this and it isn't your fault either.

There are a lot of uncomfortable truths, but we should all learn to acknowledge them bravely. The sexes have both been given strengths and weaknesses that complement each other. These should be celebrated and respected.

There are somethings, which at extremes are going to be skewed towards one sex. This should not be used to generalize the populations, but we should keep that in mind as well.

Just as how most geniuses in Engineering, Math, Physics, and CS will be males, most sexual offenders against pre-pubescent children and consumers of child pornography are going to be males as well.

"The truth can not be sexist" - Steven Pinker

Title	Male in childcare. Vent.
Author	No-Reference6570
Upvotes	116
Comments	55
Date	July 3, 2025 6:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1lqxr6q/male_in_childcare_vent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/male-in-childcare-vent.1556278 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556278

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