What do you do on a date if...

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-08-10T20:38:17+00:00

It's not about recovery. If she says no, it doesn't mean you fucked up by asking her to go to your place or that you need to fix something you broke. She just doesn't feel like it, much like she might not want a chewing gum if you offer her one, and that's fair. You shouldn't overreact, or insist or go into a crisis.

You need to kill the idea that every “no” is a personal failure or something to “recover” from. It’s just a boundary or a mood on their part, not a reflection of your value or your game or a final verdict. If they say no, you don’t stare at them wondering what went wrong or try to convince them.

So if she says no to going to your place, you could say, “Cool, maybe some other time. So, what’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve done this week?"

You see? You simply change topics completley unaffacted by her response, as if she had only offered her a chewing gum and she said no. Treating it as if it's not a big deal at all and you couldn't care less whether she says yes or not.

So just keep your energy high, don’t get defensive or apologetic, and keep the interaction alive, playful and lighthearted in a way that respects her boundaries and your own presence.

If she sneses your mood goes down or you get upset, or anxious because she said no, then that's how you lose. What matters is not her reaction, but your reaction to her reaction.

Playful_Dot_537 · 2025-08-10T20:37:42+00:00

You just need to pause, acknowledge, pivot and change the subject.

I asked a woman too early if she wanted to go back to my hotel room (I was traveling) and she very clearly told me "I'm not going to have sex with you."

And I was like "Cool. No problem. Hey I heard that place over there has good cocktails. Want to try it?"

I realized I was pushing too soon before she was comfortable enough. So I needed to wait and be patient until she was. Which turns out was later that evening.

It's a dance and sometimes you step on her foot. It's fine, just recalibrate and don't make a big deal of it. She's likely either pausing you for clarity or slowing down your pace because it's too fast for her. Don't assume it's a "no never".

eraider24 · 2025-08-10T20:40:09+00:00

Agreed on immediately changing the subject. But this may be as simple as just not tonight. it doesn't mean that she will say no the next time.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-08-10T20:35:06+00:00

This is a rejection. You accept the reality of the rejection and you move on to the next. There's no recovery move. You thank them for their time and end the date.

^ this is if you absolutely want a one night stand that same date.

IF you're open to going on more dates, then you just act cool and say something like "no worries" and continue the date like nothing happened.

kizeemnoma · 2025-08-10T20:48:38+00:00

What's the worst that would happen if you cut your losses and move on?

New_Banana3858 · 2025-08-10T20:56:53+00:00

change topic and try again a bit later.
men's value goes UP and DOWN dramatically in real time.
Yep that no she said earlier. will be a yes if you manage to make her crack up and have fun.

VelvetSinclair · 2025-08-10T21:19:45+00:00

That's fine. A woman wants to know you're interested. Making your intentions clear rather than trying to be sneaky is honest, straightforward and non-creepy.

It gets creepy when the guy keeps pushing the point. Shows low social intelligence and lack of respect for boundaries. If she's not comfortable enough with you / trust you enough at that point, pushing harder will KILL any trust you have built up.

Kinda depends on what you're dating for. If you're looking to have sex that night then... idk. I don't personally chase that. So read the other comments

If you're looking for a long term girlfriend just say, okay cool, no rush. And leave it for another date. If she changes her mind, she'll let you know. Let her chase you, if you're doing everything else right you'd be surprised.

You STILL need to push things forward though, give her the opportunity. You know like how a girl will make it easy for you to kiss them. You make it easy to say yes to going back to yours. Think how nervous you felt the first time you went in for a kiss. That's how she feels saying she'll go back to yours, except, she's read a million news/horror stories to make her even more scared

One thing that can help is an innocent reason for her to come back to yours. You play guitar. You have a herbal tea selection. You have a great view from the roof. All three of those have got me laid before.

Title	What do you do on a date if...
Author	HedgehogOk3756
Upvotes	7
Comments	28
Date	August 10, 2025 8:27 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mmt6hp/what_do_you_do_on_a_date_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-you-do-on-a-date-if.1559299 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559299

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